Clashing Titans

I have a Junior and an Eighth grader who both have strong personalities. Both have tons of skill, confidence up the ying-yang, and short fuses.

I was really proud of my junior high squad at their football game this afternoon. Only 4 of the 7 were there, but they cheered often, loud and confident. They're creative and full of enthusiasm. And for the most part, they get along great.

I made the mistake of giving them a little too much... something, rope? room? power? liberty?

The Eighth grader (the other 3 are Seventh graders) begged to be able to cheer at the Freshman/JV game too, after the Middle School game. I figured, they were doing a good job. We don't have a JV Cheer squad and our Varsity squad only cheers at Varsity games. So- I figured maybe it would be a way to support the underclassmen boys while giving the girls more experience. I made it clear that they MAY do this, but that they weren't the JV squad, and that I couldn't be there, because I needed to get home to my kids. 

After I'd been home for about a half an hour, I got a series of phone calls from my Junior about their behavior at the JV game. She was working at the concession stand. She told me that they were cheering in just spandex without skirts. I told her that it was okay to tell them that this was not appropriate and ask them to put their skirts back on or stop cheering.

She called me back to tell me that they called her a "bitch," and that she felt that they shouldn't be allowed to be in Cheer anymore.

I shouldn't have let them cheer without me there. I shouldn't have sent her to correct them, I should've known that she comes off too strong and I should've known that they wouldn't respond well to her.

I also should have let the whole thing cool off and let the dust settle before I did anything about it. Instead, I sent the 4 girls a message on facebook, telling them that the Junior is my representative. "If you disrespect her or call her names, you are disrespecting me and calling me names," I told them.

I tried not to use threats and hoped to get them to think about their actions. I said that  I hadn't decided yet if there need consequences and asked them to think of what would be fair and bring me their ideas.

I asked to meet with them the next day.

Naturally, nothing can be that easy. The Eighth grader wrote back and threatened to quit, and let me know that two of the three seventh graders would quit with her.

Then, there's another reply, claiming to be her Mom, who would like to meet with me at school tomorrow morning. She was very upset because she said that the Junior was threatening her daughter.

Drama, drama, drama. This is the kind of thing that drives people out of coaching cheerleading.

The Junior sent me the transcript of a volley of texts between herself and a Sixth grader- who I think is either the Eighth grader's sister or cousin. The Sixth grader not only complained about how she had yelled at the junior- highers, but that she had said disparaging things about the handicapped boy on the high school squad.

I advised her to just try to avoid both of the Sixth and Eighth graders.

Dear Lord, grant me wisdom and patience. Let the meeting with this parent go well tomorrow.

I don't know why I'm not an anxious, nervous wreck about this. Mostly I'm annoyed. What we have here are a bunch of bruised egos. I'd prefer that they all would show deference toward one another, have some humility and perspective and move on. It's unfortunate because all three of these girls have a lot of what you want in a cheerleader.

Comes with the territory.