Thursday, August 30, 2007

Family ties bind papers together

Farewell, old friend.
Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper — Schleswig Leader, Thursday, August 30, 2007 – Page 3

No sooner had the town of Schleswig been established back in 1899, than a weekly newspaper was created to serve it. Max R. Hueschen called his paper the Schleswig Herold and printed it in German. In 1903, F.J. Branaka bought the Herold, rechristened it “The Leader,” and started publishing it in English, but kept a German section. Six years later, it was bought by R.E. Vaughan.

Vaughan kept the German section inside until 1910. In July, 1912, Vaughan sold the Leader to Glenn Kirkpatrick, who traded it for eight acres of land a year later to Joseph Dodd, who kept Kirkpatrick on as editor.

Between 1913 and 1917 the Leader had a number of owners but ended up with Henry W. Faul of Denison, who sold it to Percy Lyon in 1923. Lyon owned and operated the Schleswig Leader until his death in 1945, at which time it passed to his son his son, Robert B. Lyon. Lyon moved his offices to Mapleton when he bought the Mapleton PRESS.

Back in 1887 J. Edward McMullen moved his printing outfit from Centerville, Iowa to Charter Oak. He started the Charter Oak Times out of a little tar paper shack behind the grocery store that had been the sleeping quarters for the town wagon maker.

McMullen printed a big 7-column newspaper on PINK paper! Between 1891 (when the town was incorporated) and 1894 ‘the Times’ became ‘the Republican’ under a new owner and then merged with another paper, ‘the Herald’ and was renamed ‘the Times’ again.

‘The Times’ had several owners and locations during much of the 20th century being printed in a former millinery, a shoe repair shop, and a trucking office. It was owned by the W.M. Nellor family from 1938-1971. Then it was sold to W.F. Schrader who printed it in Wall Lake until it was sold to Lyon Publishing of Mapleton in 1981.

Eventually, Robert Lyon passed his business down to his son Edward “Mike” Lyon. When the Press acquired the Ute Independent and the Charter Oak Times, those papers were consolidated into the Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper. Mike and his wife Barb continued publishing the PRESS, the NEWSpaper, and the Leader until shortly before he succumbed to cancer two years ago.

The NEWSpaper has served not only Charter Oak and Ute, but also Soldier, Moorhead and Ricketts.

Issues of the Times and the NEWSpaper are on micro-film in the Charter Oak Library. Ute readers, please forgive me, I’m sure that there is historical information about the Independent as well, but I wasn’t able to find it in time to include it in this column.

Enterprise Publishing are the current owners of the Mapleton PRESS. Headquartered in Blair, Nebraska, Enterprise produces several small town newspapers including the Dakota County Star in South Sioux City and the Missouri Valley Times.

This will be the final issue of the Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper and the Schleswig Leader.
There’s a lump in my throat as I wrote that sentence. My wife wrote for Ye Aulde Bobcat and worked at the Press when she was in high school. Somehow she talked the Lyons into hiring me the summer we got married. I helped with the Charter Oak Centennial Edition and sold ads for the Crawford County platte book they produced that year.

It has been a privilege to contribute to the NEWSpaper sporadically ever since then.

It seems like the last several summers have been emotionally turbulent ones.
First we lost Charter Oak’s long time correspondent Jackie Pester to cancer. Then Schleswig’s gem of a corespondent Bonnie Schroeder left the Press office for the Hoffman Agency in Schlewig.

Of course the Lyon’s sale and retirement was a major transition and Mike’s passing was the hardest. He was a diehard promoter of the community and the Loess Hills.
And like people, newspapers are temporal and finite. Like people, their loss leaves holes in our lives.

Losing a paper has been compared to losing a school. Towns invest so much of their identity in them that it can be hard to face.

But I’m choosing to think of it not like a death, but like a marriage. I have three daughters, so someday, like it or not people are going to be comforting me with cliche’s about not losing a daughter, but a gaining son.

I don’t know if I was any great prize for my in-laws, but I think that Schleswig, Ricketts, Charter Oak, Ute, and maybe even Soldier readers will be pleased with how much more they get, beginning next week, when the Press becomes more of regional paper and not just a local one.
That’s how I’m choosing to think of it. Not like a funeral, but more like a marriage.

When one of my brothers-in-law recently re-married, we suddenly gained a sister-in-law, two more nieces and a nephew. Christmases may be even more crowded at Grandma and Grandpa’s, but that just means more laughter, more pictures to take, and more stories to tell.

This wasn’t some kind of a hostile takeover, we’re just bringing papers that were already the in same family under one name.

Some people will be sad, and believe me, in the words of a former President, “I feel your pain.” But please think of this as a gain, not a loss.

I may only work there in the summers, but I can tell you that the PRESS staff likes to think of themselves as a family.

You should know that they try hard to serve you and your family. We’re still your community newspaper, communities with family ties.

So here’s to family.
Your’s and ours.

"Uncle Brad" loves the St. Louis Cardinals and Dr. Pepper. I think it helps with all the headaches that come from being head-honcho.
"Cousin Ann" will always welcome you with a smile. When people don't know something around Mapleton, they come to the PRESS office and ask her!
"Sister Julie" in the Art Dept. has to run home a lot to care for her little ones. Like any young mom, she's become an expert on cleaning up barf.
"Cousin Carol" of the Art Dept. is a lefty, so it's hard to borrow her computer for anything since she keeps the mouse on the wrong side.
Can you tell that "Aunt 'Maddog' Michelle" would rather be behind the camera than in front of one. She our "utitlity player," that means she takes pictures, lay outs pages, and even writes. Originally she was a Michigander, but now farms with her husband around Castana. Beware of her home made salsa, it can peel the paint off your walls!

Here's a great site

PolitiFact.com

PolitiFact is a project of the St. Petersburg Times and Congressional Quarterly to help you find the truth in the presidential campaign. Every day, reporters and researchers from the Times and CQ will analyze the candidates' speeches, TV ads and interviews and determine whether the claims are accurate. >> More

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

"Mr. 99 Counties" on "Mr. Torture-Memo"


Editorial Cartoon for the September 6, 2007 Mapleton PRESS

I was listening to the radio around Aug 27 and I swear I heard a sound byte of Iowa Senator Chuck Grassley saying something to the effect that "you don't just fire someone for being stupid."

The next day I tried to google the quote but all that any newspapers are running is "he did a lot of stupid things," but left out the good stuff.

This was one last chance to take a stab at the now former Attorney General who's been a favorite target of mine. It was the first time I tries to draw Grassley, who has a wonderful, wrinkled, complicated, Iowa farmer kind of face. He reminds me either of Dr. Seuss's Grinch or one of the weird aliens in Jim Hansen and Frank Oz's fantasy sci-fi movie, "the Dark Crystal."

I was proud of this cartoon, but of course, they run a week later so they're old news.

Gonzo resigned on a Friday (8/24),
this was in the news Monday (8/27),
I drew it Tuesday but that same Tuesday the gay Senator from Idaho soliciting a cop in an airport bathroom eclipsed it in the news (8/28).
But I guess that won't be news by the time it reaches readers mailboxes two Thursdays later (9/6).

See all my cartoons at http://tmal.multiply.com

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Bloomberg And Hagel For 2008?

Bloomberg And Hagel For 2008?
By David S. BroderSunday, August 26, 2007; Page B07

Chuck Hagel, the senator from Nebraska, describes himself as a "tidal" politician, one who believes that larger forces in society shape careers more than the ambitions of individuals. "The only mistakes I've made," he told me last week, "were when I tried to go against the tide."

Today, that tide may be carrying him away from his Republican Party and toward a third-party or independent ticket with New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg -- a development that could reshape the dynamics of the 2008 presidential race.

See entire article in original context

Yikes! Just what the country needs, a team to siphon off votes from whatever Democrat ends up running, so that the Republicans can get back in again and continue the Reagan/Bush/Bush Jr. "Reign of Error."

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Summer's last hurrah


Macro flowers are something I enjoy so much, I hope that they haven't started to become a cliche. Two things I've never had much luck with are animals and landscapes, but it was such a beautiful day, I had to give it a try.

Friday, August 24, 2007

Stuff for Students

Dear students and colleagues,

Ever trying to avoid becoming "roadkill" on the information super-highway, I have launched yet another new website:


Students- This website is intended to be a repository for links, assignments, and ideas for my students. If you have one of my classes this year, you

Teachers may want to take a look at it for ideas on how you can make resources and web links available to your students as well. "Blogger" is a really simple, easy service offered by Google that lets you post things with easy to use templates without having to know almost anything about the internet at all. But if you have some experience, you can customize it a great deal like I have.

Everyone- Want to see ONLY the posts for your class, without having to scroll through all my other "stuff?"

It's easy- just click on the "label" or tag below that applies to your class. Then, Blogger will display only the posts for that class.

You can also scroll down to the "blog archive" on the bottom of the menus on the right side and then click on the month you need or a post title that sounds like what you're looking for.

When in doubt, type a keyword in the box on the top-left of the website, next to the orange and white 'B' logo and then click "search."

Mind you, this is not an official Boyer Valley Community Schools site. The views expressed here and the links provided here are not necessarily those of the school, it's administrators or board. This site is the sole responsibility of Me, (Mr. Mallory.) And just so everyone know that, I include that disclaimer on the  website itself.

Students-
I hope that "Mr. Mallory's Stuff" comes in handy. I'll handy post things like review sheets there when Semester Test time comes around, so make sure to come back again once in a while.

Teachers
, if you're establish a Blogger site like this, remember that it's not really a "Blog" (a journal or diary) and unless you want to hear from your administrators or parents, you should try to avoid including too much subjective commentary. Keep it professional, and concise. That doesn't mean it can't be fun. I started http://www.cheercoach.blogspot.com about 3 years ago mostly to post pictures for cheerleaders from games and pep rallies. Visit http://www.blogger.com if you'd like to try creating your own.

Students
- A word to the wise, it may be tempting to use a blog like a diary to record memories or work through your feelings, but keep in mind, whatever you post on the internet is available for ANYONE to see. What's more, it NEVER goes away. You may delete it but a version of it will always remain somewhere on the internet. Just like social networking sites like with FaceBook and MySpace, don't put anything on a blog that will embarrass you prevent you from getting a good job 5 or 10 years from now and don't post anything that you don't want your principal, pastor or grandmother to see. And please, don't post things that could be considered harassment of bullying, or you're liable to be liable for libel!

Hope this is "stuff" you can use!

_____________________________
Ted's cartoons, artworks, photos, and commentary at:
http://tmal.multiply.com

"The gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." ~Garrison Keillor

Thursday, August 23, 2007

What the graphic deptartment talks about while waiting for its computers to work


Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper — Schleswig Leader, Thursday, August 23, 2007 – Page 3

I have to be one of the luckiest guys in the world. Not only am I a teacher who was I able to find a summer job, but I love my summer job and enjoy the people I get to work with there.

By now I’ve been back in the classroom for a couple of weeks, so I miss the mature, stimulating yet serious, adult conversations that I being surrounded by adolescents just doesn’t offer.

The computers were slowing down, the internet was cutting in and out, so like any work place, we coworkers took on the most pressing issues of our time.

Some one said they had a side ache.

Well, what have you been eating?

Hot Tamales (the candy) and Dr. Pepper.

Well, there’s your trouble right there.

What you need is Pop Rocks and Coke.

What’s wrong with eating Pop Rocks when you drink Coke?

It’ll make your stomach blow up. Like feeding Alka Seltzers to a pig.

Isn’t that what happened to Jerry Mathers from ‘Leave it to Beaver?’

No he died in Vietnam, you’re thinking of Mikey from the Life Cereal commercials. “Hey Mikey, he likes it!”

They fed Alka Seltzer to his pig?

No he died from drinking Coke while eating Pop-Rocks. Only I guess that was Mikey, I thought Mikey died in Vietnam, I thought I saw the Beave on Disney Channel back in the Nineties.

So what about Pigs?

Oh you know, some hoodlum kids like to watch pigs blow up. Off course that’s a good way to tick off the pig farmer.

What are you talking about?

Pigs, they can’t burp and they can’t fart, so they blow up when they eat Alka Seltzer.

Why would anyone do that? That’s crazy.

I don’t know, just a stupid thing you dare people to do, like cow-tipping and snipe-hunting?

What’s snipe-hunting? What’s a ‘snipe?’

Oh, you’ve never been snipe-hunting before? We’ll have to take you out snipe-hunting some night, you’ll like it.

What does that have to do with pigs?

Oh, well a snipe is kind of like a bird, I guess.

Hey I heard people like to do that to seagulls out in California.

Hunt them?

No, feed them Alka Seltzer.

Why?

So they blow up because they can’t burp or fart, so they blow up.

I though that was pigs?

It is, that’s why people don’t throw rice at wedding anymore.

Why don’t they throw rice at weddings anymore?

Because it hurts the birds, they’re stomachs blow up.

Hey, have you ever put Mentos in Diet Pepsi?

Aw man, that is so cool?

What, what, why is that cool?

It makes like a 15 foot fountain.

No way.

Way. Don’t you ever watch YouTube?

What’s YouTube?

Have you seen that movie ‘Cars?’

Yeah, I love how they go cow-tipping, only they’re tractors instead of cows.

Hey, did you ever notice that Hot Tamales kind of make Dr. Pepper taste like beer?

Now if you think this was confusing, keep in mind that all three major soft drinks were originally pharmaceuticals.

Coke, was intended to replace coffee as a pick-me-up and headache cure. Thus the original trace of cocaine.

Pepsi was originally a bicarbonate, to settle your stomach. Sort of like today’s Pepcid.

And one of Dr. Pepper’s key ingredients is prune juice. Originally one was suppose to drink it at 10, 2, and 4 to keep regular. Of course, to celebrate their anniversary, they’ve put a “23” on their cans. I think it reminds me of Heinz 57 and it’s kind of gross.

It refers to the fact that pharmacists experimented by mixing 23 different flavors to come up with the spicey-sweet one they settled on.

When I was in high school and college we’d put a little bit of everything in our glass and dare each other to try it.

They call that concoction a “suicide.”

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

Mr. Mallory's Stuff



Mr. Mallory's Stuff
Here's a new website is intended to be a repository for links, assignments, and ideas for my students. If you have me for a class this year, check it out- you might just find something that you can use!

Mr. Mallory's Stuff



Mr. Mallory's Stuff
Here's a new website is intended to be a repository for links, assignments, and ideas for my students. If you have me for a class this year, check it out- you might just find something that you can use!

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Daily Kos: Values Voters Follow-up: Iowa Democrats

Daily Kos: Values Voters Follow-up: Iowa Democrats

PRESIDENTIAL TRIAL HEAT (including leaners) %

John Edwards 30
Hillary Clinton 22
Barack Obama 18
Bill Richardson 13
Joe Biden 5
Dennis Kucinich 1
Chris Dodd 0
Mike Gravel 0
Undecided 11

Also of note is the attitudes of Iowans toward poverty reduction as a strategic goal. Similar to NH, Iowans think it's an important concept.

Art, Ask for More


Portraits of the fallen

Check out this video of Kaziah Hancock creating portraits of fallen soldiers. It is so great to see someone making art as an act of compassion.

A little bit of history repeating


Thursday, August 16, 2007 – Page 3

“A nation that forgets its past is doomed to repeat it.” ~ Sir Winston Churchill

“The word is about, there’s something evolving,whatever may come, the world keeps revolving They say the next big thing is here, that the revolution’s near, but to me it seems quite clear that it’s all just a little bit of history repeating”
~Shirley Bassey and the Propellerheads
Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper — Schleswig Leader,

Maybe I’m more prone to notice these things because I majored in History in college and used to teach it in High School, but I’ve noticed some eerie similarities between our own times and some previous historical eras.

One is what Mark Twain called “the Gilded Age.”

The Gilded age was characterized by an upper class that loved to show off their wealth. The new rich, whether by ruthless business practices, lucky speculation in the markets or by easy credit indulged in leisure and excess like never before in America.

Sort of reminds you of all the HumVees and plasma TVs going around.

But the point Mark Twain was trying to make by calling it a “gilded” age, was that you can paint rot iron with gold leaf so that it looks elegant, but it will still rust and corrode underneath.
Like the turn of the last century, we too are letting our leaders and giant corporations get away with abuse of power, fraud and corruption. And like the last Gilded Age, we’re experiencing a huge and widening gap between super rich and working poor. Meanwhile, the middle-class is shrinking.

According to a recent article in the Christian Science Monitor, 1% or Americans have 15% of the money. One one thousandth (0.1 %) of the population has between 6 and 10 % of the wealth. These folks saw a 497% increase in their wealth since 1972.

We can see hints of a new “Progressive Era” on the horizon- Lord knows we could use a guy like Teddy Roosevelt again. But what preceded Teddy Roosevelt was a depression. A lot like the one that preceded his cousin Franklin. Let’s hope we’re not headed down that road again.
Over the last four years, tons of people have tried to compare the war in Vietnam to the War in Iraq. On the contrary, I think it’s worth the time to contrast the differences between the two.
We feared that Vietnam would be the first domino to lead the whole Far East to fall to communism.

We figured if we could make Iraq a Western style capitalist democracy, we’d have enough oil, military bases and influence on the Middle East that neither Al Queda or Iran could threaten our interests anymore.

Democratic Presidents got us into Vietnam and left it to a Republican to. A Republican got us into Iraq and feels no compunction whatsoever about leaving it to the next administration to clean up.

‘Nam had hot steamy jungles, Iraq has hot dry deserts.

Protesters marched and occupied college and government buildings to end the Vietnam War. Bloggers whine about Washington on the internet to try to get us out of Iraq.

Working class Joes and minorities got drafted to Vietnam. Politicians know if there was a draft protesters might march and occupy buildings again, so instead they keep increasing the length of soldier’s tours of duty.

George W. Bush went AWOL from the Florida National Guard but never had to serve in Vietnam. Since there’s no draft, National Guardsmen and women are bearing the brunt of the war in Iraq.

Not only are the Gilded age and Vietnam Era replaying themselves, but so is Watergate. But again, there are major differences between Nixon and Bush.

Psychologists would classify Nixon as a Paranoid with tendencies toward Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder. He kept meticulous diaries of his minute-by-minute activities. He agonized over what people thought of him.

Bush is just the opposite. He doesn’t bother reading presidential briefings, and seems to be oblivious to the feelings, opinions, and contributions of others. Webster’s has a word for someone “characterized by defective or lost contact with reality especially as evidenced by delusions... and disorganized speech and behavior.”

The word is “Psychotic.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Monday, August 13, 2007

Some of my work for our small-town newspaper

After our back-to-school teacher meetings, I SHOULD have been cleaning my classroom or getting ready for school to start Wednesday, but I was so excited about the great architect leaving, I had to do this one. This won't run till Aug. 23.

We have friends visiting us from California this week. One of them has his PhD so it's really intellectually challenging to debate politics with him. He suggested the idea for the above cartoon to me. This will run in the Aug. 30 issue.

Several weeks ago we printed color on the front and back pages. Now I didn't design this masthead, our late publisher Mike Lyon did, but I got to colorize it for that edition. It was neat to see it printed, so I just thought I'd like to go ahead and post it here.

See more of my cartoons at http://tmal.multiply.com/photos/album/2/CARTOONS

Faith, Art, & Humor


Phoenix New Times - Arts

Get shredded. So that’s the Bible [cut into strips] rolled into pill capsules one at a time. It actually was really a bizarre thing. I put it through a book guillotine. I was thinking a lot about “Bible as book” and how to deconstruct the text and sample the text so that you’re just getting soundbites. Because that’s how I feel people deal with the Bible. They don’t deal with it as a whole narrative. Yeah, cutting it was a really weird thing.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

If only our President got this


Study the past if you would define the future.
~Confucious

My first foray into sanior portraits




I've never taken senior pictures before. This weekend I took over 140 of them for my nephew. We had fun, even though it was in the 100s here in Iowa. I feel good enough about it that I may actually have the guts to advertise to do it for other people's nephews next summer.

See more of these pictures at http://tmal.multiply.com/photos/album/64/Best_of_Cales_Senior_Pics
Maybe you'll like them enough to hire me!

Friday, August 10, 2007

Simpsonsmania


With the whole world caught up in the hupla over the new Simpsons movie, I got to thinking about their creator cartoonist Matt Groening. Today, the Simpsons are a global phenomenon, They've been on TV for 20 years, longer than M*A*S*H. But they started out as just the buffers between commercials for the Tracy Ulman Show on the brand new FOX TV network. Success make for odd bedfellows with FOX mogul Rupert Murdoch taking over the Wall Street Journal and FOX NEWS spewing Republican propaganda all over the American Landscape, he owes much of his empire to the anti-establishment cartoonist who started out in edgy alternative weeklies like the New Times, the LA Weekly, and the Weekender (or whatever the free tabloid full of concert promotions and strip joint ads is named in your town).

Every Thursday I'd head down to the local 7-11 ("Quickie Mart" in Springfield) to check out the comic books, get a Big Gulp Slurpee and read the edgy, alternative comics- "Honky Tonk Sue" by Arizona 's own Bob Boze Bell, "Zippy the Pinhead" by Bill Griffith, "Red Meat" by Max Cannon, Mark Alan Stamaty's "WashingTOON," and best of all, "Life in Hell"- the chronicles of Binky the Rabbit, and the abiguously gay Akbar and Jeff, two short guys who each wore a fez by none other than Matt Groening. And by the way, that yellow guy on this post is me, "Simpsonized."

Republicans eat their young


Elephant Stew

Recipe By : Glenellyn Elder
Serving Size : 999 Preparation Time :999:0
Categories :
Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1 large elephant
plenty of brown gravy
salt & pepper to taste
2 whole rabbits -- optional

Cut elephant into bite-size pieces (allow about 2 months to do this). Hold
aside trunk, you can use it to store the pieces.
Put elephant in large (very large) pot; add enough gravy to cover. Cook over
kerosene fire at 450 degrees for about 4 weeks, or until golden brown.
Serves 3,800. If more guest are expected, 2 rabbits may be added. However,
this should be done only if absolutely necessary. Most people do not like to
find hare in their stew.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Please don't sick the ASPCA on me, I'm just KIDDING. I'd never condone killing or eating a real pachyderm, I just stumbled on this joke recipe and thought it was funny.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Right Brained thinking

Brain Lateralization Test Results
Right Brain (42%) The right hemisphere is the visual, figurative, artistic, and intuitive side of the brain.
Left Brain (46%) The left hemisphere is the logical, articulate, assertive, and practical side of the brain
Are You Right or Left Brained?
personality tests by similarminds.com

These are the results of my Left/Right Brain Dominance test. I'm pretty "bi-lateral." I teach Drawing students from Betty Edwards' "Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain."
Here's Your Chance to find out if you're a lefty or a Righty.

Steps in the process

So, first I drew each of the baseball legends. Ruth as a little frumpy and tubby, Aaron as pretty much a nice guy, and Barry -as Bob Costas recently described him, "super-human."
Next, I put them together in PhotoShop and saved it as a TIFF to use in the Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper and Schleswig LEADER.
Finally, I went back to PhotoShop and added color so that it would be a little more fun on by blog and other webpages. Then I emailed it to my favorite baseball fans. Who no doubt, will chastise me because I used the Atlanta Brave's logo rather than the Milwaukee Brave's logo and I got the Giant's uniform all wrong. But hey, like I said on my column blog, if he played for Oakland, he'd be green like the Incredible Hulk that he is.

Get ready, Momma’s comin’


Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper - Schleswig Leader, Thursday, August 9, 2007 - Page 3

I know, I know, the election is still 16 months away, caucuses still five months away so maybe it’s too early for this, but I think it may not be too soon to face the inevitable. Uncle Sam may soon become Aunt Samantha.

Mind you, I’m no Hillary supporter. If Iowa moved up the caucus I’d probably support New Mexico Governor Richardson if I were serious or former Alaska Congressman Gravel if I really felt like annoying people.

I know that a lot of things can happen in 16 months, including John Edwards winning Iowa. I know a lot of readers around here aren’t prepared to contemplate any Democrat as our next President. But maybe it will be easier to for us all to get used to the idea of a “Commanderess-in-Chief” if we start on it now so we have a almost year and a half for it to sink in.

I know it’s especially hard for my Republican friends, but come on- will most Republicans really get excited about most of the Republican candidates?

Giuliani has had how many divorces? Pro-Choice? New York City Firefighters oppose him because these heroes of 9/11 say he’s screwed them over?

Fred “Hollywood” Thompson and his half-his-age arm candy wife only raised half as much money as he hoped to in the first month of his non campaign.

John “Anger Management” McCain has pretty much lost his entire campaign staff.

And then there’s Mitt “First Mormon” Romney. Mormonism, that’s the one with all the polygamy and the secret underwear, right? But he’s from Massachusetts and used to flip on gay civil unions and abortion, but now he flops instead of flipping.

As much as some right-wingers loved to cultivate a visceral hatred for her husband Bill, Clinton is probably the most conservative of all the Democratic presidential candidates. The Clintons are charter members of the Democratic Leadership Council, the group that wanted to bring their party closer to the moderate center or even a little to the right in order to remain viable during the Reagan era. Like the GOP, the DLC is sympathetic to corporate interests and the interests of the wealthy.

FYI; Ken Starr’s law firm has contributed more to Hillary’s campaign than to the top four Republican campaigns combined.

So not only will she be good for hate-marketeers like Limbaugh, O’Rielly and Savage, she might also be good for business. What helps me tolerate the DLC more than the GOP is that they believe in fiscal restraint and responsibility. They don’t believe in huge deficits, operating off-the-books and raiding the Social Security Trust Fund, or in handing massive tax cuts to the wealthiest 2% and oil companies. Just “major” tax “incentives,” not massive tax cuts.
So, we’ve got almost a year and a half to get used to the Washington Post’s fashion reporter getting excited about whether or not the CSPAN camera caught a glimpse of Senator Clinton’s cleavage during a speech about college funding.

Remember the 60’s when people opposed women’s rights because they were afraid that it would lead to unisex bathrooms because civil rights had eliminated racially segregated bathrooms?

Remember the 70’s when comedians could joke about not wanting a woman president because she might drop the bomb if she got PMS?

Remember the 80’s when people started talking half-serious about a woman president because Geraldine Ferraro was the Democratic candidate for Vice President?

Remember the 90’s when women were becoming successful in business but they had to be tougher than men to do it, so we couldn’t imagine a “Fatal Attraction” kind of woman as President?

Well, you might want to get ready for all our old chauvinistic attitudes to become memories.

Giant of the game

Please, you want to tell me that this guy is not the Incredible Hulk- it's too bad he doesn't play across the Bay for Oakland, then he'd be green too! I think that Bob Costas is spot-on when he talks about how Bonds was one of the game's great athletes, but now he's super-human and there's a vast amount of insurmountable evidence that steroids had a lot to do with that.

But hey,