Borowitz Report

I think that Andy Borowitz is about the funniest political writer out there. He's a one man Onion, the Daily Show of the written word. Just take a look at some of his most recent columns:

Obama Quits While Ahead

In a move that stunned both political allies and foes alike, President Barack Obama resigned today after serving 100 days in office, telling the White House press corps, "It's all downhill from her...

Talented Ugly Person Baffles World

The success of singer Susan Boyle on the reality show "Britain's Got Talent" has caused both television networks and their viewers to reconsider the intrinsic value of ugly people, media experts sa...

Wall Street Salary Caps Drive Away Assholes

False Start

Right there in my arms
soft fields and fertile farms

The Spring earth in your eyes

But you can't let go to let me in

So here we'll end
where we didn't begin

ever love me
never love me
know that we have been

Tell Zombies Goodbye

I've met the living dead
we have spoken face to face
everyday we're adding to their race

Mourn for those who are cursed
to walk the earth dead, dragging others down with them,
unknowingly

Mourn not the dead who know they are dead,
for they will shun the living souls who try to follow them into the night

They blow away with the change of the season
let them go
they are no more a danger
even in life

Their only victims were themselves

Anyone else miss Happy Chef?

Last weekend I was in Lincoln for the Spring Game and he was gone. Remember how you'd press a button and a voice would come out of his crotch? What used to be the place to eat and study between the University and the airport has been replaced with a Doctor John's adult novelties store. Anyone got any memories to share?

Looking West

After an 11 hour day in the middle of a difficult week, instead of staying on the highway, when you live in rural Iowa, you can take the gravel roads home, maybe even some dirt roads too, if they aren't too muddy. Nothing like a sunset on the prairie to soothe the nerves and quiet your mind. Once again, eat your hearts out, prisoners of city and suburb!

Unrealistic Expectations

I don't do enough to be a doer
I don't think enough to be a thinker
I don't feel enough to be a feeler
I don't sing enough to be a singer
I sing too much to be a thinker
I feel too much to be a doer
I think too much to be a singer
I do too much to be a feeler

Beware of sharks

(click here to view)

Clay Bennett Chattanooga Times Free Press Apr 24, 2009 EditorialCartoonists.com

Here, I think this is a more cartoonist (& copyright) friendly way to post other people's cartoons on my blog.

I just love Clay Bennett's work. And this is an amazingly clear and potent statement about the abuses of credit card companies. Maybe all the religious--wingers who make such a big stink about gay marriage need to consider these Bible verses too-

Ezekiel 18:13
He lends at usury and takes excessive interest. Will such a man live? He will not! Because he has done all these detestable things, he will surely be put to death and his blood will be on his own head.

Ezekiel 22:12
In you men accept bribes to shed blood; you take usury and excessive interest and make unjust gain from your neighbors by extortion. And you have forgotten me, declares the Sovereign LORD.

Turns out that charging an unconscionable or exorbitant rate interest is a sin! Who would've thunk it? Kinda like torture and unprovoked, unjustified war. Hmmm. Just something to think about.

Run Aground

Dreams are like
rivers
ever changing
with life's course

Insecurity is what
makes rivers
run dry

Faith is taking charge
of the rudder
and setting sail
letting God conduct
the wind and
the current

Again, I REALLY wanted to stop posting other people's cartoons, but wow, this is something I feel really strongly about. Obama may want to play Ford to Bush/Cheney's Nixon and heal our polarized nation and all that, but come on. Right wingers are always going on about moral issues and absolute right and wrong. People need to be held accountable so that we don't fall so far from the ideas we claim to stand for again. Lower-level CIA or Administration officials, lawyers? Fine. I'm not looking for the former Vice President to be handed over to a tribunal in the Huague or anything, but we can't just let it slide and pretend that nother ever went wrong, either.

Grey Hair

No man "comes of age"
Age comes on man

Born in Spring
Summer is rank and hot
filled with hopes
of Autumn
But all of Spring
is just a false thaw
and Winter
too often
strikes at Halloween
Because
Adam rushed the Fall

Potter to the pot about the wheel

Be still

virtues are not instantaneous

some gifts
only come
through suffering

Nature's poetry; Peonies emerging

Spring,
resurrection,
breaking through,
renewal,
a fresh start,
death giving way to life...
sometimes a picture is worth
a thousand poems,
sometimes a simple seedling
humbles all the hubris
of human language.