Saturday, November 25, 2006

the Duck and The Devil

Here's one of those few email forwards that is actually worth passing on:

The  Duck & the Devil

There was a little  boy visiting his grandparents on their farm.   He  was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods.  He practiced in the  woods, but he could never hit the target.  Getting a little discouraged, he  headed back for dinner.  As he was  walking  back he saw Grandma's pet duck.

Just out of  impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head, and killed  it.  He was shocked and grieved.

In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see his sister  watching!  Sally had seen it all, but she said  nothing.

After lunch the next day Grandma  said, "Sally, let's wash the dishes."  But Sally said, "Grandma, Johnny  told me he wanted to help in  the  kitchen.Then she whispered to him, "Remember the duck?So  Johnny  did  the dishes.

Later that day, Grandpa asked if  the children wanted to go fishing and Grandma said, "I'm sorry but I need Sally  to help make supper."   Sally  just smiled and said," Well that's all right because Johnny told me he wanted to  help."  She whispered again, "Remember the duck?"  So  Sally  went  fishing and Johnny stayed to help.

After  several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally.. he finally couldn't  stand it any longer.

He came to Grandma and  confessed that he had killed the duck.  Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug,  and said, "Sweetheart, I know. You  see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I  love you, I forgave you.  I was just wondering how long you would let Sally  make a slave of you."

Whatever is in your past,  whatever you have done... and the devil keeps throwing it up in your face  (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness,  etc.)  ..whatever it is....You need to know  that  God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing.....  He  has  seen  your whole life.  He wants you to know that He loves you and that  you  are  forgiven. He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a  slave  of  you.  The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness,  He  not  only forgives you, but He forgets.....  It is by God's grace and mercy  that we are saved. Always  remember: God  is at the window.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving


Fostering an attitude of gratitude
Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper Schleswig Leader, Thursday, November 23, 2006 Page 3

A friend of mine recently had to tangle with a bureaucrat at a college over some paperwork relating to their teaching license. The clerk couldn’t have been less accommodating toward my friend. This was not merely inconvenient (red tape never is) but since the institution they were dealing with was my friend’s Alma matter, it felt like a betrayal by one’s family.
Another friend needed to unload in an E-mail. They’ve been working their tail off trying to do a good job serving their customers. They had hoped to be excited about introducing some new features. But instead of appreciation, they were met only with complaints.
“You show favoritism toward so-and-so, where’s such and such? Why don’t you ever do this or I didn’t like this, I want more of that...” My friend was very discouraged.
Frankly, I’m not a positive person myself, by nature. If anything I tend to be pretty melancholy- on a good day I may be a skeptical, sarcastic curmudgeon and on a bad day I can be a mopey, depressed basket case. Being lassoed into coaching cheerleading some years ago may have helped me to not become a total wreck.
After reading several books on cheerleading I was confronted with the fact that cheerleaders need to have a positive attitude.
So how does one become more positive, polite and personable?
It seems to me that this Thanksgiving holiday, we could all stand to start by spending less time worrying or complaining about what we don’t have and spend more of our energy appreciating all the blessings that we DO have.
For one thing, it is powerful medicine to remind yourself that the most important things in life aren’t things.
Think about how Jimmy Stewart’s character George Bailey complained about his drafty old house that was falling apart in the Holiday classic “It’s a Wonderful Life.” All the time he was surrounded by a beautiful wife and kids who loved him. At the end of the film the angel Clarence reminds George that “no man is a failure who has friends.”
It is important to keep “things” in perspective. Do we love things and use people or love people and merely use things.
Another trick is to appreciate the little things. Even simple, mundane things should be seen as blessings.
Singing is free. What would life be like without jokes? Trees were a great idea. Coffee smells good, feels warm and tastes rich. Eyelids are very useful. Think about all the things you take for granted and be grateful for them.
Smile at people, say hello, and thank them. Thank your parents, thank the kid who serves you your burger, thank a soldier for their service to our country. Say thank you. You’d be amazed at how meaning full it is.
Most of us forget to give thanks, but by God, if we think that something is wrong, we sure as heck don’t forget to complain or criticize.
Certainly we need to make sure that we thank God for all He’s blessed us with, but I bet He’ll like it if we work harder at remembering to thank people even for the smallest things that they do for us- even when we assume that its their responsibility to serve us in the first place.
Many authors recommend starting every morning giving Him thanks. He deserves it and it is a good way to start your day in a good mood.
Hard up for what to be thankful for this Thanksgiving? Try taking a look at Philippians 4:8 and challenge your family members and dinner guests to come up with as many items as you can in each category:
“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things... And the God of peace will be with you.”

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Blue Elephants, Red Donkeys

Lets see if they’re really different or not;
Why Blue Elephants made the difference- by a Red Donkey
Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper Schleswig Leader, Thursday, November 16, 2006 Page 3

Last week a very dear Republican friend of mine sent me an E-mail: “So...Have you calmed down since the election is over and Rumsfeld is out? What is your reaction to the fact that a number of states have voted for protection of/clear definitions of marriage amendments?”
I don’t know... what’s calm? Political and news junkies like me get off on letting our blood pressure boil over pundits, party talking points and politicians. Other people watch football or bet on basketball.

I’m fine with defining marriage as one man and one woman as long as you don’t deny anyone equal treatment under the law. Of course I think that having to pass a law defining marriage as between one man and one woman is superfluous, it’s like passing a law to define the sky as blue, so it was obviously a flawed attempt by extreme right wingers to “activate their base” and get the gay-hating Christians to come out and vote.

Some of us are Christians, agree that the Bible pretty clearly prohibits homosexuality, and agree that marriage by definition is only for one man and one woman, yet we don’t have a huge irrational fear and hatred of gay people and we believe that they live under the same Constitution.

Should Rumsfeld have been removed from office sooner? Heavens yes? Would that have helped Republicans fare better in the election that was just held? Gee Wilikers? Who knows? Is it pretty convenient that since he’s getting the boot now, his replacement (who was pretty involved in the Iran-Contra scandal of the 1980’s) will be confirmed by the current 209th Congress rather than the newly elected 210th with a Democratic majority in January? By Golly, you betchya!

You know what? Now is when the rubber really hits the road. It was pretty easy for the Democrats to win a majority. They didn’t have to run for anything. The Republicans were so steeped and soaked in scandal, corruption, hypocrisy, mistakes, extremism, and of course the muck of a miss managed war and a stubborn, Presidency.

Some Democrats would like to think that the voters sent President Bush and the Republicans a strong message, that they’re ready for change. But I don’t put much stock in alleged “mandates.” I don’t think that Liberals have any more mandate than Bush mistakenly claimed when he was barely reelected.

Democrats won because most Americans are centrists. They won because moderate Republicans jumped ship because they got tired of people who talked about compassionate conservatism but really aren’t either.

This election saw a new development. “Goldwater Democrats.” That’s right. Sound like an oxymoron? No more than “Reagan Democrats.”

Growing up in Arizona, I came to see Goldwater, our senior Senator for most of my life as sort of a patron saint. When the shrimp hit the fan with Watergate, he went to Nixon and told him to step down. Goldwater was angry that Nixon had been lying to him.

Now mind you, I disagree on his stand on states-rights in opposition to civil rights, especially integrating schools and of course there was the idea he had about using “strategic” nukes in Vietnam. Nobody’s perfect. But time and time again, I find myself agreeing with him on many things that I used to be able to find common ground on with my Republican friends- things like deficit reduction, government reform and smaller, streamlined government. Not to mention keeping the Government out of your private life.

Democrats won this recent election because, like Goldwater, American voters don’t like lies and secrets and have no patience for ineptitude- not because Americans suddenly all became progressives. Many of the Democrats who won consider themselves fiscal and social conservatives. Some are Iraq veterans who felt abandoned or betrayed.

What the Democrats had better do now is deliver. House Speaker elect, Pelosi promised the most uncorrupted, moral and reformed Congress ever. Its easy to be the “reform” party when you’re on the outside. If they let power corrupt them then they’ll deserve to get kicked out just like their predecessors.

We can only hope that the Democrats will finally put the brakes on the out of control spending habits of Bush and the Republicans.

We can only hope that they’ll REFORM (not raise) taxes in a way that benefits the middle class, not corporations and the super rich. But only time will tell.

The Art of Scott Woodard

The Art of Scott Woodard
I really like this guy's stuff. Whimsical without being trite or cutsie. Surreal without being unnaproachable or pretensious.
Fun stuff.

Not red, not really blue, more purple

Wednesday, November 15, 2006

Kensie's Eyes




This was a fun experiment- no fiddling with stuff in PhotoShop- this was done by putting pink, orange, and yellow PostIt notes over my flash. Wicked cool huh?!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Malcontents and control freaks in your midsts

Not all clergy are myopic, but sometimes it sure seems that the established Church is about nothing but the "Church Establishment." Know what I mean? There always seem to be malcontents and control freaks in our midst who find it more important to seize political control of the church hierarchy or launch some witch-hunt for heretics rather than say, sharing the love and good news about God's grace and forgiveness. I recently stumbled upon the following Scripture. I hope it encourages you to keep your eyes fixed on Jesus and not fear the squeaky wheels and the players and hypocrites.

"I urge you, brothers and sisters, to keep an eye on those who cause dissensions and offenses, in opposition to the teaching that you have learned; avoid them. For such people do not serve the Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the simple-minded."

- Romans 16:17-18


__________________________________
http://ted.mallory.googlepages.com/home.html

"The gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." ~Garrison Keillor

Say Thanks

www.letssaythanks.com

If you go to the website above you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq.

You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to some member of the armed services.

How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!!!

his is a great site. Please send a card, it is FREE and it will only take a few seconds.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these?

Whether you are for or against the war, our guys and gals over there need to know we are behind them.
__________________________________
http://ted.mallory.googlepages.com/home.html

"The gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." ~Garrison Keillor

Great Cartoons

I told myself I was going to stop posting other cartonist's work to my blog, but I just can't help myself.

Above is a great one about the radical middle- let's face it, Democrats can be conservative, especially when Republicans are so radical.

"Earmark"- AKA "Pork" They call us "tax and spend liberals," but they're "spend and spend neocons."

ANd finally, these last two really explain some of what happened...

Fwd: Young soldier needs prayers

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: BART MALLORY
Date: Nov 13, 2006 5:44 PM
Subject: Young soldier needs prayers
To: Ted Mallory

 
Dear praying friends and family,
        Just read this and wanted to send it on to you for immediate prayers for Chad.  Let's just lift him and his parents up to the Lord and know he is surrounded by God's Holy saint's and angel's.
        Love you all,
        Jean
 
PRAYERS NEEDED FOR CHAD FIELD (From his mother)   My son has been shot in Falujah. I wanted to get everyone to pray for my son Chad. Today, Sunday, I got a call from the Army that my son had been shot in the head. I am asking for all your prayers.   He was in a Humvee going through Falujah fighting and a gang of militia fighters fired on the Humvee and hit Chad in the head. The driver got him out of the city and took him to Baghdad. He was in near fatal condition, but now has been upgraded to stable critical.   His dad and I are on standby to fly to Washington then on to Germany as soon as the military calls us to go. The Army is trying to stabilize him enough to fly to Germany and at that time we will leave.   Please pray that my son will not have brain damage and that he will be restored and healed by the blood of Jesus, and the grace of God.   I ask for you to pass this prayer request on so there will be many prayer  warriors praying for him. Thank you so much.
  God Bless,
  Vicky Field
  Granbury, Texas
  Please pray for this young soldier and please pass this request along to
 those who will pray for him,
 
__________________________________
http://ted.mallory.googlepages.com/home.html

"The gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." ~Garrison Keillor

Monday, November 13, 2006

Gay Marriage- among other topics

I recently had an interesting volley of emails with a friends. Thought I'd share them here:
Cool Stuff. Here is the first one from my friend who's a Lutheran Middle School teacher:

One of the best things to happen to me was that I've had to teach
Civics for a couple of years now. I rather enjoy it. We just finished a rather long simulation dealing with the Constitution. Check out the Interact Simulation Website to see what I'm talking about. Way cool. Anyway. They had a good time learning about parliamentary procedure if nothing else. I think for such a long time I focused on the History side of things that I never really dealt with the mechanics of government. Now I'm rather enjoying
myself in what I'm learning. I'm no expert by any means. I must say I learned a lot from you. Thanks for the insights that you provide.

We have a principal now whose a bit on the freaky conservative side. I admit that I'm not too crazy about gay marriage business and all but I'm also quite sure that there will be Democrats in Heaven. My principal, who's also the 5th grade social studies teacher, has made statements to the effect that being a Christian and a Democratic party member are next to impossible. NOT!! I have made it quite clear in my Civics class that that is not the
case. My mantra is "If you don't know how the Constitution works, you will be at the mercy of those that do." AND...I refuse to use my influential position as a teacher to make little Republican clones--or any party clones for that matter.

Well, I better go. Dinners ready. Thanks again for your insights.


And here is my first reply to him:

As good as all the history shows on History Channel and Discovery Channel are (that ne Dogfights on Friday nights is SO cool) I think that one of the best that I'd show to kids if I was still teaching HIstory is History Detectives on PBS.
They show the actual reseach process based on doccuments and evidence. Don't get me wrong, I agree that there are certain names, dates and battles that kids need- absolutely, but I've always felt that understanding, analysis and application are more useful and valuable than mere knowledge at least that's my perspective on Bloom's taxonomy.

I always tried to help kids see the dynamic tensions, the balances of divergent interests. That may be safe when you're talking about the Whiskey Rebellion or Federalism and Anti-Federalism but even when you get into Manifest Destiny or Reconstruction, if there are colleagues or parents who are wing-nuts, they can freak. Am I wrong that scrutiny and using critical thinking skills are good things? Non partisan things?

Unfortunately there are people who don't believe we should teach, they send their kids to a parochial school to be indoctrinated, not to learn how to think for themselves.

"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen."
~George Orwell, 1984;


Whats funny is, you know how when you're a kid and somebody farts, you say "whoever smelt it, dealt it!"? What's funny is that the firt people to accuse others of revisionist history are the people who either have swallowed some propaganda or don't know enough about history (or government) so they're victoms of revisionist history themselves.

I still LOVE your mantra.

And another from my friend:

Hello again,

More food for thought.

Personally I cannot condone the homosexual lifestyle. It is immoral. Yet these are people who desperately need to hear the Gospel message. Hate the sin but love the sinner.

Just thought I'd say that so that up front. Now let's move into the political realm. I like your analogy of defining marriage to calling the sky blue. However, can one not also argue that a Christian in a democratic society has the glorious opportunity to help further the Gospel's spread by voting on issues such as this? Churches throughout the country (at least in some states where the marriage amendments were on the ballot) worked the issue of marriage into Bible studies and sermons out of growing concern that the institution was under "attack". True, I concede to the fact that parties would use this as a means to further their own agendas. Alas, this is politics. But couldn't it also be the Holy Spirit nudging people to witness through their votes, or across their dinner tables with their families as they discuss the issue? Granted, there are some real goofballs out there that have some serious hate issues, but what if out of perhaps hundreds of conversations about marriage amendments that a handful of marriages were strengthened and maybe some members of the gay community were given perhaps a moment of pause to consider the possibility of repentance and begin a journey that could ultimately bring them closer to our Lord? If that were the case for at least one person, then I guess I'd be happy to call this controversy over marriage a success. God has blessed us with the gift of democracy, wouldn't it be foolish and even sinful not use that gift to ultimately spread the Gospel?

Now, I will say that I would not likely favor ANY national amendment to define marriage because I feel that, based on the separation of powers under the federal system, it is the states that have the power to make laws concerning marriage, NOT the central government. Allowing the federal government to step in here would probably not be wise or a good use of our national government's time and treasure. However, if society elevates the gay lifestyle to the same status as say the African or Hispanic community, making this a civil rights issue, well, I guess then, as a civil rights issue, perhaps this is how the question will
have to be settled someday.

Forgive me if I don't sound clear, I'm trying to articulate my views as I write here. It's helping me to better understand my own position. You know, I recall teaching a unit in my U.S. history class about the labor unions. I recall how some early unions fought for political and economic reform by attempting to radically change the political landscape in order to accomplish their goals. Populism? Yet then you look at folks like Samuel Gompers and the collective bargaining process. They ended up playing the system better. Kind of like practicing your basketball layups rather than trying to drastically change the overall rules of basketball to fit your playing style. Okay, maybe I'm stretching this a little, but couldn't America's Christians take a cue from this? Try to be better Christians and share the gospel
BETTER instead of getting the government to do it. If the Grace of God were made more readily accessible through the witness of believers to nonbelievers, maybe we wouldn't have such a problem with issues like gay marriage. Maybe if the love of Christ was more readily evident through works of service and sincere praise, hearts would be turned Christ BEFORE people could be suckered into counterfeit feelings of love offered through such things as
homosexuality, pornography, and materialism. Let us be firm in our doctrine but also loving in how we treat others and strive for a better balance between Law and Gospel.

Well, I'm tapped out. Chew on this for a while and fire back when you have time.

Hope your family is well.



And another response from me:

Just so we're up front- I'm not gay, nor have I ever played a gay person on TV. (just trying to lighten the tone a little) Seriously, the older I get, the more I read and study Scripture, and the more I learn about the process that theologians, including early church fathers use to interpret scriptures, two hot-button issues become clearer to me: 1) that no matter how you try to dice it, God has prohibited homosexuality and 2) He probably did not intend for us to exclude people from roles of responsibility because of their gender as much as we have.

Hows that sound? Conservative on one issue and Liberal on another? Maybe.

I seem to want to talk about Luther's Doctrine of the Two Kingdoms. My understanding of the 14th Amendment of the Constitution leads me to believe that even though my religion considers homosexuality a sin, it would still be unfair in the eyes of the civil law to deny a monogomous homosexual long-time companion from providing for their partner financially or legally in ways that a traditional married spouse could.

I know a Republican law maker who has killed anti-gay marriage legislation in committee because if it came up to a vote, he knew he'd have to vote for it. The solution some progressive Christian leaders like Tony Campolo have suggested is similar to what's been done in Europe; civil authorities issue civil union agreements, and churches conduct marriages, but neither institution may do the other. As it is the Roman Catholic Church does not recognize Lutheran marriages, so if one district/synod of the American Episcopal Church blesses gay unions, the LCMS certainly shouldn't be cumpulsed to recognize that union. If marriage is from God, either as a full blown sacrament as the Catholics believe or as a metaphor for Christ's relationship to His Church as we do- why should we cede the ordination of marriages to any temporal, civil authority anyway? Doesn't that profane the institution? Teddy Roosevelt, not a particularly devout Presbyterian, didn't want "In God We Trust" on our currency because he believed it was blasphemous!

I guess I'm more comfortable as a Democrat, even when there are Democrats who do, accept, or believe things that make my skin crawl, is because Democrats are pragmatic and practical, they believe in detente' and compromise because they know that we live in a broken world and we have to make the best of it. What I have observed over the last 36 years is that because the Republican party chooses positions that are inflexible, they promote hypocricy. Wittness Gambling Bill Bennett, thieving Ralph Reed, drug-poppin' Hatian hooker employing Rush Limbaugh, and most recently pediphile Mark Foley, and Meth using gay hating gay guy Rev. Ted Haggard.

Love the sinner, hate the sin. Yeah, maybe the Holy Spirit may convict someone in their heart because our pastors and politicians are all up in arms about a wedge issue like gay marriage. Or... people who are struggling feel persecuted, hated and alienated. They're like Luther who practices self-flagilation because they look up at the cruel, unempathetic Christ as a heartless, angry judge, instead of as the approachable, patient, compassionate, yet hold you responsible and don't indulge your selfish sinful nature Father that He really is? Are we driving people out of the Church and making it less likely that they will hear the Word and come to repentance? What's the most effective means to influence our society? By voting? By legislating? Maybe, there's certainly room for that and I'd even agree that it is our duty. But so is by being salt and light, by being Jesus' arms and legs, in our relationships. "A Christian Nation begins at home" is one of my mantras. Walk the walk yourself, rather than screaming and shouting at others when they don't.

Unfortunately it is a sticky, complicated mess. It involves theology, civil rights, and biology too. Is society "elevating" homosexuality to the level of race? Is it a choice? A decision? Some conservatives are libertarians and even if they hate gays, they don't believe the government shoud interfere. Is it a disorder? Like a desease? If so, maybe we should regulate it like smoking, alohol, and drugs. If it is, surely we can't be more judgemental of them than we are of aloholics, adicts, or other people with disablilities. Thank God that through the Grace of our Lord, Heaven will be filled with drunks, smokers, pot-heads, adulterers, people who kuss and have looked at porn or cheated on a math quiz.... Yeah, see, I guess it gets down to how if I've even looked at a woman with lust in my heart I just as well pluck my eye out, huh? Or... if it's not a choice or a disorder, is it a genetic trait- can they help it? Would a black man choose to be black in a racist society? And if they can't help it, they what do we do with that, especially in the light of what the Bible says? Some scientists believe that biology suggests that sexual preference is not something one can help. Can't change genes. Not fair? Blame Adam & Eve? Blame Satan? Blame God?

Detente' (thank you Mr. Nixon & Mr. Kissenger for that one) Coexist. How do you put the toothpaste badk in the tube? All things, including society suffers from atrophy. And finally, don't be a control freak like the parent or principal who wants to produce clones instead of wanting to disciple children and equip the saints. Like it or not, we live in a pluralistic society. Many of the new Democratic Congressmen and Senators are pro guns, pro God, anti-gay marriage and anti abortion, but they're also anti-supply-side-economics or anti war.
This is a fallen world, and human, temporal law is about making it as fair and survivable as possible, not about making it right or godly or perfect- only the blood of Christ can do that. Too many "Christian Conservatives" today are confused about Law and Gospel. They think it's our job to prepare America for Christ's second comming, that we're somehow supposed to make this world obedient for God. That's not our job. Our job is to spread the word that we don't HAVE to work, we just have to accept His gracious gift because the work is done.

I'm sure plenty of Christian NAZIs thought that Deitrich Bonhoffer should go to Hell for lying to and dissenting against the God-instituted government in Germany. Thank God they would have been wrong, just as people who don't think that Christians can be Democrats may be well-meaning, but wrong. Or as John McLaughlin might say, "WRONG!"

Whew. Sorry to be so dang long-winded. I think, therefore I can't shut up.

Thanks for the forum and the fellowship.

Verse and Voice - 11.13.2006

Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your doings from before my eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, rescue the oppressed, defend the orphan, plead for the widow.

- Isaiah 1:16-17

Friday, November 10, 2006

A historian's perspective


Editor's note: On the eve of the publication of his new memoir, "Point to Point Navigation" (Doubleday), iconic author and historian Gore Vidal sat down to an exclusive video interview with Truthdig editor Robert Scheer and offered this plea to America regarding the Nov. 7 elections:

"This is the most important vote that you'll probably ever cast. Because should this gang of thugs continue in the two houses of Congress, there isn't any chance of getting the Constitution back...."

We're facing the most important election in my lifetime—which does not quite extend back to that of Abraham Lincoln, but it's pretty close. There'll be nothing more important in the voting line that one can foresee that will come our way while any of us is still hobbling around. This will determine whether we regain the republic which we have lost over the last five years.

The coup d'etat was so rapid that even I, who am ready for such things ... I thought, these people are going to make a grab for it. But I thought, my heavens, there's still the courts.... Even a shameless Supreme Court is not going to back up the loss of habeas corpus....

So, my fellow countrymen, as I sit here, not yet at Gettysburg, I have a notion that this is the most important vote that you'll probably ever cast. Because should this gang of thugs continue in the two houses of Congress, there isn't any chance of getting the Constitution back....

This is the last chance, really, by getting some new chairpersons to head committees in the House ... to have a clean sweep, which, in normal times, if we'd ever enjoyed them, would have happened by now. Now it has got to happen, or welcome to the Third Reich.

_________________________________________________________
TED'S TAKE: I emailed this clip to a History teacher friend of mine who asked me if I thought this was really Bush's scheme, or (if it really is happening) is it the people around him pushing for it, rather than Bush himself? Frankly, I think it's both.
There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
People used to wonder about Reagan- was he a maniacal genius, or a doddering grandpa? So it is hard to tell who's really in charge. Egocentric, stubborn, uncompromising, absolutist leader? Or "C" student who's Dad got him into college and who's burned a lot of brain cells before getting off coke and alcohol, now suffering from arrested development who pretty much let's Dick Cheney make his decisions? Hard to say.

Bush has always been blissfully anti-intellectual,

He has also certainly surrendered himself with "NeoConservatives" who ascribe to the "New American Century" game plan for seizing and consolidating power. He's been reluctant to admit error and listen to disenting opinions. But, like Reagan, he is funny and charming. I still laugh when I think about the joke he told about how "this would be a lot easier if this were a dictatorship...so long as I was the dictator." Ha ha, It still makes me chuckle just thinking about it. Except that Reagan was never so smug. He had a warm, paternal smile, even when he lied. Bush W. always has that arrogant smirk.

At least now that his party doesn't control all 3 branches of government, perhaps there will be some balance and oversight. Oh, and then there's that Rumsfeld thing...

__________________________________
http://ted.mallory.googlepages.com/home.html

"The gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." ~Garrison Keillor

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Finally coming down off the sugar high


Finally coming down off the sugar high
Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper Schleswig Leader, Thursday, November 9, 2006 Page 3

Last week, of course was Halloween. I had at least a couple of students tell me on Monday, not to expect them to be in school on Wednesday, because they knew they’d be out late on Halloween.

I rolled my eyes and asked if they were between the ages of three and ten. My implication being that trick or treating is really meant for little kids. Responsible adults attend their costume parties the weekend before, pretty much only hoodlums and occultists find it necessary to be out late on Halloween.

Our nine year old nephew decided that he was too old to run around in a silly costume this year, he’d rather help his Grandpa harvest corn. For some reason, when people hit 14 they decide it’s cool to dress up and behave silly again.

Tuesday afternoon at junior high cheerleading practice, as the girls were reviewing chants they’d just learned, our new junior high mascot asked if he could visit the campus day care and surprise the children during their Halloween party. I thought it was a sweet idea, so I gave my permission and off he went.

I should’ve known better, I should’ve warned him or given him a quick training session.
There was no in between. Kids had only two kinds of reactions. A few stormed him as they might Santa Claus- he got tackled and wrestled and roughed up by one group of children,
It was the other group of children that was the real problem. They were so frightened and inconsolable about the big grey bulldog that he eventually had to take his head off and speak gently to them so that they’d know he wasn’t a monster. This of course violated the mascot’s cardinal rule to never break character or reveal your secret identity, but it was the only solution.

A colleague of mine reminisced two days in a row about the pranks and acts of vandalism that kids used to commit in his town, relieved that doesn’t happen so much any more, half hoping that it wouldn’t.

I did spy a pair of teens dragging a trash barrel up a hill as we brought out children home around eight o’clock. I was worried that they were up to no good, but we soon found out what they were up to.

As we unloaded our costumed candy-consumers, we heard a blood-curdling noise in the distance. They were racing the trash barrels down the hill, like sleds without snow.

“At risk behavior?” Maybe, but certainly not malevolent or malicious.

It was just one more way that Halloween is different than it was in the Phoenix suburb where I grew up. Several of the kids on the block all met at one kids house, took pictures and started out walking around the block. We’d end the night on a cul-de-sac where one family had set up a haunted house in their garage. 8-10 year olds sometimes served as chaperons for 5-7 year olds. Parents really only accompanied the 2-4 year olds.

Some parents made their kids bring light sweatshirts or jackets, but most kids stuffed them in their candy bags so as not to ruin their costumes. Most of the time, the polyester costumes over your jeans and long sleeve shirt made you monstrously hot.

You know you’re from Iowa when your parents buy costumes two sizes too big so that you can fit it OVER your heavy winter coat and gloves.

My wife and sister-in-law and I must be major wimps because we decided that instead of walking all night, we should shuttle the kids around in a minivan with it’s heater blasting.

When we took pictures of our 8 year old renaissance princess, our four year old pumpkin, and our 20 month old “Mary Moo-Cow,” I was reminded more of Jean Shepherd’s “The Christmas Story,” than Halloween. Particularly when his little brother is so bundled up that when he falls down, he can’t get back up.

The Princess looked walked like a penguin, the pumpkin didn’t need any stuffing to be round and the cow looked like a inflated car air bag, only with a Holstein pattern.

She HATED having her costume put on over her coat, but she was certainly excited and proud once it was on.

“Go bye bye now?” Yes sweetie, let’s go trick-or-treating. “Treat? Cream?” No, honey, no ice cream, just candy. “Crayondee?” Not Crayons, CANDY. “Crayansd?”
At our first stop, she wanted my attention as soon as we were out of the van.
“DA-ad?” Yes kiddo?
“Meeeyeow!” Everyone giggled.
No, no sweety, you’re not a kitty, you’re a cow. Can you say MOOO?
Her sisters and cousin all started mooing until they got up to the door.

I had to appreciate stopping at our kid’s baby-sitter’s house for pictures. Paul Bockelman offered us chips and homemade salsa.

Thursday morning, Ellen, the 4 year old pumpkin told us that she’d been dreaming about candy.

“Those dreams are supposed to be for Christmas Eve, “ her mother told her. Sugar-plumbs and all that.

I think if I’d been sneaking treats from my tick-or-treat bucket every hour for the past 72 hours like her, I’d be having nightmares about candy.

Sure enough,
“Daddy, my tummy aches.”
Oh, why do you think that is, Hon.
"Too much Halloween."

T-Mal's - CARTOONS

T-Mal's - CARTOONS

This is a gallery of my Editorial cartoons. Once you're there, you can always navigate to other collections and see my drawings, paintings, photography etc.

T-Mal's - CARTOONS

T-Mal's - CARTOONS

Click the link above to see a whole gallery of my cartoons

A couple more about the BLUE aftermath...

There are a lot of moderate/centrist/and even conservative Democrats who just got elected and lo and behold, all of a sudden, the White House is offering to reach accross the isle and cooperate in the spirit of bipartisanship?! Let's hope so.


Dems will try their best, but don't expect miracles. They don't have much left to work with anymore.

The Morning After the Morning After

Here's a few that speak to the recent election. I really didn't expect the Dems to do so well. We've been reactive long enough, its about time we were proactive. Now's their chance to prove that they deserve to serve...



Thursday, November 02, 2006

More Iowa Jokes

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by, you might live in Iowa.

If you're proud that your region makes the national news 96 nights each year because it's the coldest or hottest spot in the nation, you might live in Iowa.

If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, you might live in Iowa.

If you instinctively walk like a penguin for five months out of the year, you might live in Iowa.

If someone in a store offers you assistance, & they don't work there, you might live in Iowa.

If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, you might live in Iowa.

If you have worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you might live in Iowa.

If your town has an equal number of bars and churches, you might live in Iowa.

If you have had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed a wrong number, you might live in Iowa.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE A TRUE Iowan WHEN:
1. "Vacation" means going east or west on I-80 for the weekend... or going to Adventureland.
2. You measure distance in hours.
3. You know several people who have hit a deer - more than once.
4. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day... and back again.
5. You can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching.
6. You see people wearing camouflage at social events (including weddings).
7. You see people wear bib overalls to funerals.
8. You carry jumper cables in your car... and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
9. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
10. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
11. You know all 5 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter, road construction & DAMN HOT!
12. Your idea of creative landscaping is a statue of a deer next to your blue spruce.
13. You were unaware that there is a legal drinking age.
14. Down South to you means Missouri.
15. East to you means Illinois.
16. A brat is something you eat.
17. Your neighbor throws a party to celebrate his new pole shed.
18. You go out to a tail gate party every Saturday.
19. Your 4th of July picnic was moved indoors because your fire works melted.
20.You have more miles on your snow blower than your car.
21.You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly."
22.You've never met any celebrities.
23.Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
24. You've seen all the biggest bands... ten years after they were popular.
25. Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
26. Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
27. You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
28. You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
29. You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
30. Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
31. You install security lights on your house and garage - and leave both unlocked.
32. You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year.
33. You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"
34. All festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, or animal.
35. You think of the major four food groups as beef, pork, Mt. Dew, and Jell-O with marshmallows.
36. You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" is.
37. You own only three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
38. You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
39. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie.
40. The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page but requires 6 pages for sports.
41. You think deer season is a national holiday.
42. You actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Iowa friends.
You Might Be From A Small Town If...

You can name everyone you graduated with.

You know what 4-H is.

You ever went to parties at a pasture, barn, or in the middle of a
dirt road.

Your idea of a FUN weekend was riding around parking lots because that was where EVERYBODY went.

Your idea of an EXCITING weekend was watching a fight in the parking lot.

You swore at someone and your parents knew within the hour.

You ever went cow-tipping or snipe hunting.

School gets canceled for city, county, or state events.

You were ever in the Homecoming parade.

You have ever gone home for Homecoming.

Everyone thought it was really cool to date someone from the
neighboring town.

You had senior skip day.

The whole school went to the same party after graduation.

You don't give directions by street names, but something more like,
"Turn right by Nelson's house, go two blocks east past Anderson's, and it's four houses left of the track field."

The country club golf course had only 9 holes. (Or there wasn't even one.)

You can't help but date a friend's ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.

You refer to anyone with a house newer than 1980 as the "rich
people".

The people in the city dress funny, then your town picks up on the
trend a few years later.

You bragged to your friends because you got pipes on your truck for your birthday.

Anyone you want can be found at either the Dairy Queen or the Feed Store.

You see at least one friend a week driving a tractor through town.

The football coach suggested that you haul hay for the summer to get stronger.

Directions are given using "the" stoplight as a reference.

The city council meets at the coffee shop.

Your "letter jacket" was worn after your 19th birthday.

You decide to walk somewhere for exercise and 5 people pull over and ask if you need a ride.

Your teachers call you by your older siblings' names.

Your teachers remember when they taught your parents.

The closest Taco Bell or Burger King is at least 30 miles away.
So is the closest shopping mall.

It is normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawn
mower.

You might be from Iowa if...

Jeff Foxworthy says you must be an Iowan if . . . .

You've never met any celebrities
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway
"Vacation" means driving through the Amanas or going to Adventureland
You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular
You measure distance in minutes
Down south to you means Missouri
You know several people who have hit a deer
You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Moines"
You know the answer to the question "Is this Heaven?"
Your school classes were cancelled because of cold
Your school classes were cancelled because of heat
You know where all the Yoders live
*You know what "Hawks" and "Clones" are
*You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way
*You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day
*You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better"
*You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July
*Stores don't have bags, they have sacks
*You see people wear bib overalls at funerals
*You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year
*You end your sentences with an unnecessary exposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"
*All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or vegetable
*You can locate Iowa on the United States map
*Detassling was your first job
*You've been on a "Geode Hunt"
*Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is
twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice
*You learn your pickup will run without a muffler
*You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked
*When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say "It was different"
*Being a bit younger, you remember Terry Branstad as the governor the whole time you were growing up
*You consider being called a "Pork Queen" an honor
*People from other states love to hear you say "Iowa" and other words with "Os" in them
*You carry jumper cables in your car
*You drink "pop"
*You know what the numbers I-80, 280 and 380 mean
*You know what "cow chips" are

A lie by lie timeline

OCTOBER 2000- In a presidential debate with Vice President Al Gore, George W. Bush says, "The Vice President believes in nation building. I would be very careful about using our troops as nation builders." He added that the US military was already "overextended in too many places," and ought to be used to "prevent war from happening in the first place." In the same campaign, VP candidate Cheney says the US stopped short of toppling Saddam Hussein, in 1991, so as to avoid being "an imperialist power, willy-nilly moving into capitals in that part of the world, taking down governments."

JANUARY 2001-"From the very beginning, there was a conviction that Saddam Hussein was a bad person and that he needed to go." Saddam's removal is the first item of Bush's inaugural national security meeting. Then-Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill later tells journalist Ron Suskind, "It was all about finding a way to do it. That was the tone of it. The president saying, 'Go find me a way to do this.'"

APRIL 2001- According to Richard Clarke's "Against All Enemies," Paul Wolfowitz challenges Clarke at a meeting: "You give bin Laden too much credit. He could not do all these things like the 1993 attack in New York, not without a state sponsor. Just because FBI and CIA have failed to find the linkages (between Saddam Hussein and Al Queda) doesn't mean that they don't exist."

SEPTEMBER 16, 2001-
MR. RUSSERT [Meet the Press]: Do we have any evidence linking Saddam Hussein or Iraqis to [9/11]?
VICE PRES. CHENEY: No.

JANUARY 2003-Two reports from the National Intelligence Council warn Bush that an Iraq invasion could spark sectarian violence and an anti-US insurgency. One says an occupation could "increase popular sympathy for terrorist objectives." They also express skepticism about the Niger uranium story.

Hans Blix appears before the UN on the same day as ElBaradei to comment on the Iraqi weapons declaration and to present an update on inspections. He reports that inspectors have found no "smoking guns" in Iraq after two months' work, and that they have not encountered any impediments from the Iraqis. He does say the Iraqi declaration was incomplete, and calls on the Iraqis to show more evidence of disarmament.

The UN issues a press release regarding Iraq's response to Resolution 1441. "It would appear that Iraq had decided in principle to provide cooperation on substance in order to complete the disarmament task through inspection." The press release reports that UN weapons inspectors, after 60 days on the job, have inspected 106 locations and found "no evidence that Iraq had revived its nuclear weapons programme."

President Bush, in his State of the Union address, says the infamous l6 words: "The British government has learned that Saddam Hussein recently sought significant quantities of uranium from Africa." Various intelligence agencies know this to be false. The CIA made sure the claim was removed from an October 2002 speech Bush gave in Cincinnati.

JANUARY 31, 2003- British Prime Minister Tony Blair and President Bush meet in the Oval office to discuss the impending invasion of Iraq. A memo of the private meeting written by two senior British officials later reveals that Bush and Blair were aware that no WMDs had been found and that it was possible that they never would be, but Bush, determined to invade, spent the meeting discussing ways in which the two could justify the invasion. Bush also says that it would be a quick victory and it was ''unlikely [that] there would be internecine warfare between the different religious and ethnic groups.''

FEBRUARY 1, 2003- Officials in the Bush Administration come together to prepare for Secretary of State Powell's February 5 speech to the UN, in which Powell will put all credible US evidence on the table and make the case for war to the international community. Powell reads an early draft based on work down by Cheney aide I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby and, finding the material poorly sourced and misleading, throws several pages in the air and exclaims, "I'm not reading this. This is bullshit."

FEBRUARY 2003- Donald Rumsfeld ballparks the length of the coming war at a town hall meeting, on an Air Force base. "It could last, you know, six days, six weeks. I doubt six months."

Three State Department bureau chiefs prepare a secret memo for their superior and cite "serious planning gaps for post-conflict public security and humanitarian assistance." They write that "a failure to address short-term public security and humanitarian assistance concerns could result in serious human rights abuses which would undermine an otherwise successful military campaign, and our reputation internationally." They advocate that the State Department stand strong against the Pentagon, which is ignoring the State Departments work in preparation for post-invasion Iraq.

Office of Reconstruction and Humanitarian Assistance (OHRA) chief Gen. Jay Garner prepares a document for Rumsfeld decrying the fact that his team has only $27 million to rebuild Iraq. Garner forecasts the cost of reconstruction to be upwards of $12 billion. Shortly before Garner deploys to the Middle East, Rumsfeld tells him, "If you think we're spending our money on that, you're wrong. We're not doing that. They're going to spend their money rebuilding their country." By fall 2006, the US spends $2 billion a week in Iraq.

MARCH 2003- President Bush tells the nation, "We are doing everything we can to avoid war in Iraq."

Halliburton is awarded a $7 billion reconstruction contract over the objections of Army Corps of Engineers procurement officer Bunnatine Greenhouse. Testifying before Congress, she later calls the contract "the most blatant and improper contract abuse I have witnessed." She is demoted in short order.

JUNE 2003- Rumsfeld brings Gen. Jay Garner -- whom he has just fired -- on a visit to the White House to meet with the president. Not once does Bush ask Garner about the state of Iraq, though the meeting lasted for almost an hour. But at the end of the meeting, Bush asks Garner "jokingly," "You want to do Iran for the next one?" To which Garner replies, "No, sir, me and the boys are holding out for Cuba."

The War on Terror begins in your own backyard

The War on Terror begins in your own backyard. Check out this Map of dangers-
terrormap_24x36.pdf (pdf Object)

Yeah, it was a rude, stupid thing to say, but...


Please get rid of Steve King


Tuesday can make all the difference
Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper — Schleswig Leader, Thursday, November 2, 2006 – Page 3

This upcoming Tuesday is going to be interesting, to say the least, for political news junkies like me. I may have to take my radio along when I take my daughter to dance class so that I can listen as the returns come in.

The fact that there are three candidates, two independents and a Democrat running against Fifth District Republican Congressman Steve King suggests that people are tired of being represented by him. Unfortunately, it also probably means that the traditional conservatives, moderates and what few progressives there are here will have their votes split three ways, so the radical neoconservatives will be able to get King reelected.

One of the independents is Cheryl Broderson, a nurse at Crawford County Memorial Hospital in Denison.

She believes that representatives need to be accountable to their constituents, not a political party. She’s for reducing the deficit (that kind of thing used to be conservative) but also for health care reform (something often thought of as traditionally liberal idea). She’s also concerned about alternative fuels and national security (who isn’t?).

Another independent is Roy Nielsen, an Orange City small businessman and had been a Republican.

Nielsen told the Sioux City Journal recently that he kept waiting for some other Republican to challenge Steve King for their party’s nomination. When no one did, he decided to step up and run himself as an independent. I guess I don’t understand why Nielsen didn’t just oppose King for the Republican nomination himself in the first place, but whatever, he’s running now.
Nielsen, like a lot of moderates and traditional conservatives, feel like King, like the Bush Administration have abandoned the needs of families and the middle class.

Like Brodersen, he feels that the Republicans currently in power have been fiscally irresponsible, turning a surplus into a massive deficit. He also thinks that current tax policies favor the “investor class.”

He also thinks that the situation in Iraq has gotten out of hand and while he supports securing our Southern border, he fears that Steve King’s plan for hundreds of miles of electrified fencing may replace the statue of Liberty in many peoples minds as a symbol of a less welcoming America.

Finally there’s the Democratic alternative, Joyce Schulte. I suspect that people write her off as unviable just because she ran against King before and lost. Of course, the fact that she doesn’t have access to massive amounts of money from Republican PACs like King probably doesn’t help her either.

Schulte is the Director of the Student Support Services program at Southwestern Community College in Creston, Iowa. She’s been a farmer and educator and the widowed mother of two.
Schulte is concerned about the message having King as our congressman sends. Verbally demeaning people, discriminating against minority groups, and reinterpreting history are just some of the ways she thinks he’s been irresponsible.

Her priorities would include reauthorizing the Farm Bill, reforming immigration, addressing the Mideast , including Iraq, and health care as well.

She’d like to have “Iowa Produced” marked on food products grown here. She also supports the development of alternative fuels including wind and ethanol.

Like Nielsen, Schulte believes that the tax system needs to be reformed to favor families and the working and middle classes instead of corporations and the extremely wealthy.
The oldest of the four candidates, she’d like to see a repeal of the Medicare bill that charges more prescription drug programs for seniors. She’d rather have the government negotiate with drug manufacturers to achieve acceptable prices for medication.

She also believes that health insurance plans should regard mental illness and chemical dependence on an equal footing with all other physical conditions.
She supports small and medium sized businesses and family farmers.

Schulte would like to increase Pell grants and other forms of financial aid and student assistance to make the dream of higher education a reality. She also thinks that it would be important to try to find funding for Head Start, Special Education, after school programs, and teacher recruitment and training programs.

I said it before and at the risk of offending anyone, I’ll say it again. We really have an opportunity to make a difference by replacing Steve King. I consider him a loose cannon on the sinking ship of state.

With the vote split four ways, maybe his seat is safe, but at least we can send him a clear message that we’ve had enough of his radical, ultra right-wing bombastic rancor. If he returns to Washington with a small enough plurality, maybe it will be a wake-up call for him to start paying attention to the real needs of real Iowans, not just wedge issues and National Republican rhetoric.