You might be from Iowa if...

Jeff Foxworthy says you must be an Iowan if . . . .

You've never met any celebrities
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway
"Vacation" means driving through the Amanas or going to Adventureland
You've seen all the biggest bands ten years after they were popular
You measure distance in minutes
Down south to you means Missouri
You know several people who have hit a deer
You have no problem spelling or pronouncing "Des Moines"
You know the answer to the question "Is this Heaven?"
Your school classes were cancelled because of cold
Your school classes were cancelled because of heat
You know where all the Yoders live
*You know what "Hawks" and "Clones" are
*You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way
*You've had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day
*You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better"
*You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July
*Stores don't have bags, they have sacks
*You see people wear bib overalls at funerals
*You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it no matter what time of the year
*You end your sentences with an unnecessary exposition. Example: "Where's my coat at?"
*All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or vegetable
*You can locate Iowa on the United States map
*Detassling was your first job
*You've been on a "Geode Hunt"
*Your idea of a really great tenderloin is when the meat is
twice as big as the bun and accompanied only by ketchup and a dill pickle slice
*You learn your pickup will run without a muffler
*You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked
*When asked how your trip was to any foreign, exotic place, you say "It was different"
*Being a bit younger, you remember Terry Branstad as the governor the whole time you were growing up
*You consider being called a "Pork Queen" an honor
*People from other states love to hear you say "Iowa" and other words with "Os" in them
*You carry jumper cables in your car
*You drink "pop"
*You know what the numbers I-80, 280 and 380 mean
*You know what "cow chips" are