Thursday, October 30, 2003

Forms and reforms

Last Sunday was a notable anniversary, in1650 a Bishop named James Usher declared that by his estimations and interpretation of Scripture, the Earth was created at 9am, on October 25th, 4004 B.C.

Tomorrow is not just Halloween or the day before All Saint’s Day, or Dia de Los Muertos. Tomorrow is the anniversary of an earth shaking event in social, political, cultural, literary and religious history. It was the day when a small town college professor posted some statements on the town’s bulletin board that he hoped that members of his university’s community would consider for discussion, possibly even debate.

Universities have always been hotbeds of free speech and debate, even in times of strict political-correctness. Be that as it may, the last thing this professor wanted to do was to start a revolution. Reformation maybe.

You see, to revolve (as in revolution) is to suddenly, radically alter your direction. To reform is to, well, to reform. People are always calling for reform right? Like, “welfare reform,” “We need to reform the school systems” or “why don’t they reform the tax code?” or “Our government is in serious need of reforms.” It means that you don’t throw out what you have, but you do try to clean it up or repair it.

Whenever I think of reforming, I think about working with clay. If a student in my ceramics class doesn’t like how their clay pot is turning out they don’t need a whole new hunk of clay. They just need to take the cup they formed out of the clay, mush it back into a ball and re-form a new cup.

So on October 31, 1517 Doctor Martin Luther posted his 95 theses on the Disputation of the Power and Efficacy of Indulgences. And if you’ll forgive the metaphor, all Hell broke loose.

An “indulgence” was a get-out-of purgatory card. They were being sold to help pay for the construction of St. Peter’s in Rome. You know St. Peter’s, Michelangelo, Bernini, the Renaissance, a little Baroque, the plaza where you look for black or white smoke when they announce a new pope. Expensive art and architecture

Luther’s argument was that Jesus died to forgive our sins, priests, and even the Pope pretty much just announce that forgiveness to us. No amount of money donated to any church pays for our sins, Jesus’ own blood did that.

Basically, Luther’s hope was to reform a bloated, corrupt bureaucracy, not start his own religion. His point of view was simplify. Drop all the red tape and focus on Jesus. Drop the miles of regulations and traditions and narrow it down to three things; the Bible, Faith and Grace. “Grace alone, Faith alone, Scripture alone.”

We all sin and fall short of God’s glory, rich or poor, well educated or not, prince or pauper (Romans 3:22-24). What saves us is Jesus. Heaven is not for goodie goodies, it’s for people who recognize that they need Jesus’ forgiveness, but that forgiveness is a gift- that’s grace. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Grace doesn’t come from a piece of paper or an official proclamation, it comes through faith. Trusting and believing that Jesus is who He says He is and that He did what He came to do- that’s faith. (Romans 10:17)

Luther implemented some Vatican II style changes too. Like having the congregation sing, not just a choir of monks. The biggest change had to be allowing and encouraging lay-people to read their Bibles. He translated it into their own language and encouraged everyone to be taught to read. During much of the dark ages and the renaissance mainly priests and lawyers could read at all, and very few of them could read Latin, which the Bible was published in.

Reading and Schooling was important so that we could read the Bible for our selves and develop a personal relationship with Jesus. When we do that, God equips us with everything we need to serve Him (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

After all, the name “Christian” means little anointed ones, if our faith is sincere, what we’ll want to be like Jesus and do the things He did; love, pray, help, serve, share. In other words, “minister.” Luther called this “the priesthood of all believers (1 Peter 2:9-10). Sure, congregations still need qualified leaders, that’s why you send pastors to seminary to learn how to read Greek and Hebrew and study theology, but every believer is part of the “body of Christ” and the ground at the foot of the cross is level (Galatians 3: 28).

Since Vatican II, most American Catholics put their focus on Jesus. Every Christian denomination and every congregation faces scandals and controversies. None is perfect or has an absolute monopoly on truth, only God Himself has that. We all argue and disagree from time to time even within our own congregations. But if we can agree that Jesus is the son of God, we are brothers and sisters.

The example Luther gave to all of us is to not become overwhelmed by details and doubts. Keep it simple, focus on Jesus (Matthew 6:33), read your Bible. What else do you need to know? Jesus saves (John 3:16). That’s all you need. Grace alone, Faith alone, Scripture alone.


I had grandparents who were Catholic, an aunt and uncle who were Baptist, others who’re Methodist. As amatter of fact just last week I had a Methodist tell me that this list sounds like them too! Here it is; You might be a Lutheran if...

You're watching Star Wars and when they say "May the Force™ be with you" you reply, "and also with you."

You sing "Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus" while sitting down

It takes you 10 minutes to say goodbye

Your church library has 3 Jell-O™ cookbooks

You have an uncontrollable urge to sit in the back of any room

During communion you hum the hymns so you can see who's at church that Sunday

A meeting isn't a meeting unless it takes 3 hours

You feel guilty about not feeling guilty

Your church is on fire, and you rush in to save the coffee pot"

Grace alone. Faith alone. Scripture alone. Coffee with other Lutherans. Staley’s Chicken with Catholics and Methodists!

Thursday, October 23, 2003

¡Feliz Dia de los Muertos, Calabaza Grande y Señior Araña!

Last year I tried, obviously in vain, to get people to focus on children, innocence, candy, and pretend at Halloween, instead of violence, evil, mischief and the occult. If you remember back that far, I wrote about Charlie Brown, Linus, and the Great Pumpkin (Calabaza Grande). Let me have another stab at it.

By the way, last year we encouraged Grace to choose a cute, maybe even feminine costume, like a princess or an angel or fairy or something like that, but what did she choose? A fireman. Excuse me, a fire-FIGHTER, not gender specific. I THINK it had to do with the fact that we went costume shopping right after Noah’s Ark Preschool took its field trip to the fire station.

Go ahead and take a look at this week’s front page- I’m plenty proud. Mind you, I’m a pretty progressive dad. I really believe Grace can be anything she wants to when she grows up, even President (although why would anyone want to?), there are already plenty of women firefighters, so I was all for it, what the heck.

Last weekend we were visiting cousins up in Sioux Falls and decided to ask Grace what she’d like to be for Halloween this year.

Spiderman.

Hmmm. How about Barbie? –No, ‘Pie der mawn- Oh, look honey, it’s Belle from Beauty and the Beast. –No, SPAWDERMAHN-

Okay, Spiderman. Forget that he’s a he. It took a really long time to convince Grace that she could be queen and being queen is just as good or better than being king (ex: Queen Elizabeth II and “king” Phillip of England), but she can never be king because she’s a girl and kings are all boys.

Spiderman shoots webs, swings between tall buildings, wears red white and blue and helps people by stopping bad guys. He’s a really smart, nice, kid next door. So great, you’ll be spider WOMAN to your Mom and I, but great. Spiders and Halloween, perfect match.

Have you tried getting your hands on a Spiderman costume lately? Not at K-Mart. ShopKo had one left, but the mask part was missing. I would say, don’t be surprised if every kid and his sister trick or treats as Spiderman, because the stores can’t seem to keep them on the shelves!

If Grace comes to your door looking for candy on Saturday morning, November first, you’ll know why. It will be because Bethany ordered her Spiderman costume on the internet, but they promised to ship it within five business days, one day late and several dollars too many.

I’m frustrated anyway because whatever she dresses up as, I have to miss it. Boyer Valley has an away game so I have to haul our cheerleading squad and mascot all the way out to Lake View. How much ya wanna bet all the cheerleaders beg me to wear stupid costumes instead of their uniforms?

Say, if I shave my beard, could I pass as Saddam Hussein?

I think Ellie is going to dress like Humpty Dumpty. Who says he wasn’t a she? She was an egg for crying out loud. Eggs don’t have gender, yet. Right?

Here’s what I think. Instead of monsters and demons and witches and chainsaw murderers, let’s adapt the Mexican take on Halloween. “Dia de los Muertos,” that is, “the Day of the Dead,” is a positive, joyful, family holiday.

The Mexican point of view is that this life is a dream and when you die, you “wake up” to reality. Therefore you don’t have to be afraid of death and life is a temporary thing that doesn’t need to be taken too seriously.

Dia de los Muertos is about family. Instead of having their family reunions in July or August, families come home to be together from October 31- November 2. November 1st, as you know is a Church holiday, All Saint’s Day- the day of the dead, when Mexicans honor and remember their ancestors and the family members and loved ones who died during the previous year. Mexicans have picnics in the cemetery and decorate grave sites with flowers, colorful cut-paper banners and paper maché skeleton dolls.

November first is actually considered “Dia de los Angelitos,” day of the little children who died. Kids munch on sugar skulls with their names written on them in chocolate icing. The Devil isn’t considered a powerful arch rival to God, he is a scheming fool who doesn’t have any power over you unless you offer it to him. Sort of like Wile E. Coyote.

There’s even a special supper where whoever bites into a plastic toy skeleton baked into their sugar bread, has good luck for the next year!

Festive colors, family, faith, candy, feeling safe, feeling like you belong…that sounds wonderful. I’ll take those things over weird pagan ceremonies, zombies, vampires, blood and gore, murder and mayhem any day.

I used to like Batman when I was a kid. Dark, scary, brooding multimillionaire. But now I like Spiderman. Young, upbeat, and a freelance photographer. Keep slingin’ those wild webs Spidey (AKA: “Araña”),

¡Buenos nochés niñios y niñias!

Thursday, October 16, 2003

Clergy Appreciation Month

October is Clergy Appreciation Month. I think that the only other profession less appreciated than teachers and farmers has to be pastors.

“No segment of our society is more strategic and more in need of prayer than pastors and their families. They urgently and desperately need our love, encouragement and earnest prayers,” said Dr. Bill Bright, founder and president of Campus Crusade for Christ.

According to Robert Velarde of the National Day of Prayer Task Force, 80 percent believe that pastoral ministry has affected their family negatively. 70 percent say they have a lower self-esteem than when they started in the ministry. 70 percent do not have someone they consider a close friend.

In our area we have several ministers who are over worked and under paid.

Father Richard Ball is Priest for no less than four congregations. St. Mary’s Ute, St. Mary’s D.C, St. Pat’s, Dunlap, and St. Boniface Charter Oak. Whew! What a mass of Masses he has to lead!

Pastor Ernst is no slouch either, juggling all three churches in the Lutheran “Triple-Parish;” St. Luke’s Ricketts, Immanuel Soldier Township, and St. Paul’s Hanover township.

I keep hearing good things about what a difference Pastor Ed Brandt is making over at St. Paul’s Lutheran in Ute since he came here a year or two ago.

Then there’s Ken Baughman at United Methodist, Charter Oak.
And our own Rev. L.C. Gebhardt at St. John’s Lutheran, here in Charter Oak. I’ve been to our voters’ meetings. I know what kind of pressure he’s under.

We need to honor our pastors and their families for all the hard work, sacrifices, and dedication.
Pastors and their families are unique. God uses them to ensure the spiritual well-being of His children, us.

One of the most poignant things I ever remember being said on a TV show was when Father Mulcahy was talking to the surgeons on M*A*S*H about a particularly stressful week. He told them that when they lose a patient, they only lose a life, but when he loses one, a soul is lost. That was frightening theological depth for a sit-com.

Pastors and their families live under unbelievable pressure. They live in a fishbowl, with the whole congregation and town watching their every move. We expect them to have perfect families, to be perfect themselves, to always be available on a moment’s notice, to never be tired or depressed and to always have all the right answers and always say the right thing at the right time.

Those are unrealistic expectations to put on anyone, yet most of us are quick to blame them when we don’t like the way things are in our church or community. That’s why God wants us to recognize them and support them with out prayers.

“The elders who direct the affairs of the church well are worthy of double honor, especially those whose work is preaching and teaching," 1 Timothy 5:17.

Saint Paul even asked his parishioners to pray for him in Ephesians 6:18-20; “And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.

Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, 20for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, as I should.”

So if you haven’t done it lately, why not thank your pastor and their family for all that they do? Give them a card or bring them a meal or desert some night. Most importantly, pray for them regularly. Ask God to strengthen them, to guide them and to bless them.

Next time you’re in church and you’re tempted to tune out the sermon, try praying that the Holy Spirit speak to you through your pastor and pray that God would open your eyes and ears to the message He has for you. I bet you’ll be surprised by how much more you get out of your pastor’s sermon that week!

Thursday, October 09, 2003

Fair, Balanced, Circus Freaks

This month, politics seems to be less real and more surreal then ever before. It’s a dirty business, politics. Lately it’s been raw, violent and faster paced than ever before.

On the Democrat’s side we have the arrival of Candidate retired General Wesley Clark. Former Democratic front-runner Vermont Governor Dr. Howard Dean and Massachusetts Senator John Kerry are eating Clark’s dust. The party buzz is that New York Senator Hillary and former President William Jefferson Clinton brought Clark into the race because they thought Dean didn’t have what it takes to beat George W. Bush.

The Republican side is a wild ride too. Way back last summer already arch conservative columnist George Will said that if there are no Weapons of Mass Destruction (WMDs) found in Iraq, then Bush’s decision to go to war is seriously suspect. Lately Vice President Cheney and Secretary of State Powell have both been grilled about this on the Sunday morning talk shows.

Seeing as the President just asked Congress for more than eighty BILLION dollars just for Iraqi reconstruction and at least one American is being killed there every day, more since Bush declared the war over than during the course of the war itself- it might be time to think about the hole we’ve dug ourselves into. If there were no WMD, was the war for oil? No question the world’s a better place without Saddam Hussein, but there never was a 9-11 connection. There are probably more Alqueda terrorists in Iraq now than while Hussein was in power. Hussein and Bin Ladden hated each other.

Is it traitorous or treasonous to talk this way? There are people who will say that criticizing the President’s decision to invade Iraq “gives comfort to the enemy.” But isn’t it patriotic to want to save the lives and reunite the families of American service men and women by bringing them home?

Remember the 1980’s patriotic rock anthem “Born in the U.S.A.?” Singer/Song writer Bruce “the Boss” Springsteen recently weighed in on Iraq:

"The question of whether we were misled into the war in Iraq isn't a liberal or conservative or Republican or Democratic question, it's an American one. Protecting the democracy that we ask our sons and daughters to die for is our responsibility and our trust. Demanding accountability from our leaders is our job as citizens. It's the American way. So may the truth win out."

The first amendment says that “Congress shall make no law… abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the government for a redress of grievances.” I believe that this is what American soldiers should die for, not for political polling points or for cheap gasoline.

So now, it looks like someone in the White House leaked the identity of a CIA operative as revenge for their spouse’s opposition to the war. Holy Guacamole! If it’s not true, then everything that Bill O’Rielly and Rush Limbaugh say about the “liberal media” is right, but if it IS true (and it sounds like it may be), then Holy Guacamole! That’s what I call traitorous and treasonous! That makes the Monica Lewinski scandal look like middle school!

Do you see now why I consider myself a post-partisan centrist? When you’re honest about it, are either parties REALLY any cleaner than the other?

Just when it couldn’t get any weirder…As of yesterday my old home of California got a new governor. At the time I wrote this it looked like it was going to be “the Terminator.”

I thought it was weird that New Age Priestess and former arch conservative, turned “independent” political commentator Ariara Huffington debated Arnold Schwartzenagger (or however you spell that). Let’s face it, we needed sub-titles.

Then she dropped out of the race to defeat the Action Hero and support embattled Democratic Governor Grey Davis in his recall battle.

Then we heard that Arnold sexually harassed half a dozen women. No huge surprise, but conveniently brought to light just before the election (bad liberal press, bad press, no biscuit!).

Then we heard that he said that he admired Adolf Hitler in his first muscle movie back in the 1970s. Again, very good reason NOT to vote for him, but again, very conveniently brought to our attention just before the election.

Sigh.

Then came Rush Hour. My friends used to tell me they just listen to him because he’s funny, and sometimes they think he’s right. I used to warn them that he’ll suck them in, just like pro wresting. You say you’re just gonna watch because it’s so fake and so stupid, you want to make fun of it. Then you get caught up in the excitement. Then you get caught up in the soap-opera aspect. The next thing you know, you’re running for governor of Minnesota!

I don’t know why he’s so popular. It’s partisan propaganda infotainment that feeds off our fears and frustrations. I was relieved when his TV show faded and he was isolated to am radio. Then ESPN asked him to become a color commentator for NFL football. Because he knew so little about football.

Then he resigned because he said he thought that the “liberal media” supported Philadelphia Eagle’s QB Donovan McNabb just because he’s black. Forget about his records, his awards, or the fact that there’s like 18 other starting quarterbacks in the NFL today!

And THEN, it comes to light that Rush has been abusing prescription drugs, even involved in some kind of illegal drug trafficking ring for years! I wondered how he lost all that weight!

Of course the king of preaching personal responsibility to the rest of us is not a racist addict, it’s all the “liberal media’s” fault. Watch, he’ll find a way to blame the Clintons or some “feminazi.”
I sincerely hope he gets the help he needs. I hear the founder of the Betty Ford clinic was a Republican. I don’t think it’s fair that the media latches on to people’s personal lives, their mistakes or their hypocrisies. But I don’t think it’s because their anymore liberal than FOX and Bill O’Rielly are “fair and balanced.”

I think it’s because we the readers love a good fight and when sharks smell blood they start to circle, regardless of political persuasion.

I’ll admit, that while I honestly don’t want to gloat or say “I told you so,” I have got this overwhelming urge to say, “what goes around, comes around.”

Thursday, October 02, 2003

A funny thing happened to me on the way to the football game…

I had just finished my weekly column at about 5:30 last Friday. It was the September 11th one, it may have been pretty cheesy and sentimental, but, you know, it’s an emotional holiday. Poit is, it left me in a pretty patriotic mood. This set the stage…

I gathered the Cheer squad to get in the van to drive to an away game but I left my keys on a table in my classroom so I ran back across the street to school to get them.

As you know, Iowa still has the first in the nation primary elections, so as I came back out the girls were all excited because a Presidential candidate was stumping on a neighbor’s porch across from the school. Some of the volunteers asked if the cheerleaders would like to have their picture taken with the candidate. I knew it was a cheesy photo op for him, but I figured it was exposure for us too, so I let them do it. I took a picture too and it got in the local paper here, the Dunlap Reporter, and we’ll probably use it in the yearbook too.

I walked up to Democratic Senator John Edwards from South Carolina, shook his hand and told him I thought he’d done a good job on the debates in Albuquerque the night before. For some people that would have been no big deal, others would have refused to shake a Democrats hand, but it was kind of fun for me just because of my background as a political new junkie.

Sen. John Edwards and the Boyer Valley Cheer Squad

Did I ever tell you about the time I met Republican Senator John McCain? I was on the staff of the weekly high school supplement to the Phoenix Gazette as a Freshman in high school. He had just gotten elected to Congress for his first term. Strong handshake, but he’s one of those people who grabs ya at the knuckles and doesn’t let you shake palm to palm- at least he was them. Anyway, at the time I didn’t trust him, maybe because of his handshake and decided I didn’t like him. Of course now, I have a lot more respect for him, he’s one of my favorite Republicans. I’d like to think we’ve both matured a lot
Say, that reminds me, did I ever tell you that Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher Curt Schilling was a Senior at Shadow Mountain when I was a Freshman? Yeah, I guess I have huh? What? “like a million times?” Oh, okay, sorry. Is this too much name dropping?

Edwards, right. Well, I thought it was kind of funny, his people said that MSNBC was coming and asked if we’d do a cheer, well the zipper on one of the girl’s skirts had broke, so I had run back into school to get a bunch of safety pins when this request through another girl into a moral dilemma of crisis proportions.

“Wait, wait, Mr. Mallory, shouldn’t we find out what some of his positions are before we do a chant for him?”

I was thinking, “Uh, you’ve already posed for a publicity photo with him, this is a little late, kiddo,” but I didn’t say that. I suggested cheering for Boyer Valley and not customizing it for him, dilemma solved.

This wasn’t good enough apparently, as debate continued while we pinned the skirt the best we could.

“How about this,” I suggested, “Yell ‘Hey VOTERS, Get Fired UP!’ that way it’s pro-participation, yet bi-partisan, how about that?”

This idea appealed to the whole squad, but of course by this time Edwards had started his speech and we were faced with another dilemma- not one of politics or morals, but of manners. They didn’t want to interrupt, but they also didn’t want to make our exit too conspicuous either. We listened patiently for several minutes and snuck off to our van quietly. Fortunately we made it to the game on time.

The next day in Yearbook class one who’s notoriously Republican told the one who had had the hang up, “It would’ve been Okay, I found out he’s a Democrat and Democrats are against abortion, so it would’ve been okay.”

“Uh, actually,” I tried to explain, “generally Republicans are more likely to be Pro-Life and Pro-Choice advocates tend to get more support from Democrats.”

“But I talked to Jen (a former cheerleader who now attends Georgetown University), and she says she’s anti-abortion and she’s a Democrat?” she said.
“Sure, I oppose abortion and I’m a Democrat, that’s why you have to be careful of making generalizations and assumptions, but Jen and I are kind of unusual, generally you’d expect more Republicans to be more strongly opposed to abortion,” I explained.

“Oh,” said another student, “all I know is my whole family is like totally Republican.”

“All my family is like- ‘huh? Politic? Duh, huh?’” said the notoriously Republican cheerleader.
All I know is that I doubt Edwards stands a chance against Gebhardt or Howard Dean in the primaries, so it barely matters what he thinks about anything. I did appreciate that he’s the first and only Democrat to take a stand and say that he thinks that Bush’s “No Child Left Behind” program is bad for public education and should be eliminated.

Sigh, then again, I would have wished that 17 year olds would be a little more aware of what’s going on in society. That does make me miss teaching U.S. History. At least I’m trying to help them be more aware by teaching Journalism.

Well, another Friday night, another football game. I hope no Presidential Candidates show up at this one.

6:28 pm, gotta go, talk to you next week.

There’s no place like Home

We newspaper people love to hear from our readers. I’m sure that Mike and Barb Lyon would love it if you’d make the NEWSpaper what’s called in the biz a “public forum.” A forum is a place where ideas are exchanged. Recently we’ve seen it happen with letters to the editor about the school board elections. The more you contribute to the NEWSpaper with your letters and submissions, the more it belongs to all of us in Ute and Charter Oak.

In the interest of communication, I’m revealing ALL of my email addresses to you, even though I’m putting myself at risk. You could stalk me or start sending huge amounts of “spam” to me. Please don’t. Pretty pleeease? With sugar on top?

Here they are, oh- by the way, my “snail mail” address (AKA: usps) is P.O.Box 75 in Charter Oak. tedm@mapletonpress.com, as you know is my official NEWSpaper address, but no one ever seems to write me there, even though it’s at the top of every column. malloryt-at--valley.k12.ia.us is my official email address at work down in Dunlap. We just got email this year so hardly anyone ever writes me there. Ted.Mallory-at-.org is my nifty new Concordia University, Nebraska alumni email address, it’s mostly if and when Boyer Valley blocks hotmail like every other school, but it may be a way for classmates who’ve lost touch to find me and I personally think it looks cool to other churches when I have Youth Group stuff to mail. coachmallory-at-.com is the address I check daily, but I should warn you, once you send me something I have your address forever and you might just find that you get all kinds of spam FROM me!

That said, it’s time so say something else-
Homecoming was really great. Friends, family members, alumni of all ages, Charter Oak and Ute are great places to live, be from, and come home to visit. Wherever you are scattered, whether you’re still in Crawford or Monona Counties, elsewhere in Iowa, California, Oklahoma, or on any of the ships at sea, you have to admit, that there’s no place like home.

Granted, I’m a transplant and as an employee of a different school district and parent of small children, I didn’t get in on all the homecoming activities COU had to offer last week, but judging by the coronation Sunday and the parade Wednesday, COU school and the town of Charter Oak are brimming with pride and spirit. Believe it or not, the level of involvement and enthusiasm at COU’s homecoming is very rare.

In a previous column, I applauded the contributions of Dan& Deb Kuhlman, Rosie Lally, and especially Lucia Lincoln for the hard work they put into the shelter house fundraiser. This week I want you all to give a big hand to the COU student Council, to Mrs. Linda Nepper, to Principal Rollie Wiebers, to all the kids, and quite frankly to every last one of YOU.

Sure, I love watching the golds and yellows and ambers of the fields instead of concrete and traffic, sure it’s important to raise my kids near family and in a safer environment, but what makes this such a great place to live is that the people who live here are so involved and connected.

There are city-slickers who would have giggled during coronation and thought it was too idyllic, too 1964, almost campy or kitsch. Like a scene out of “Pleasentville,” “the Truman Show,” or “Peggy Sue got Married,” but I thought it was one of the most well-planned out, charming, engaging, and meaningful high school ceremonies I’ve ever attended.

Maybe I’m naïve or idealizing things, but it sure looked like the royalty candidates were kids who genuinely reflected the best things about the student body. It wasn’t “just a popularity contest,” and (no offence winners, you great looking kids, but) they weren’t just chosen because they were the “hottest,” kids in school. That demonstrates a lot of character on the part of the voters.

Tessa Lally did a terrific job as emcee. The fact that candidates are expected to prepare an acceptance speech and the involvement of all four grade levels and eight kindergarteners are powerful and important things that most other schools overlook. Even the adapted “Miss America” song speaks volumes about the values and priorities COU is teaching.

I’ve seen a lot of parades. I’ve watched homecoming parades for at least a dozen schools over the years, often as part of the visiting football crowd. For my money, COU’s is the most amazing thing around. Oh, sure, some schools have more elaborate floats, but no place has the kind of whole-community involvement, participation and turn out that COU did last week.

It sure looked like the BBQ had a HUGE turn out too. You expatriated Charter Oakians and Utites, you missed a lot by not being here last Wednesday. Naturally, I was partial to the preschool kids from Noah’s Ark. Gracie insisted that her Mom or I could not walk with her, but she and her cousin Hallie stuck pretty close together all the way down Main Street.

I haven’t gone to a single homecoming at Shadow Mountain since graduating. I’ve only been to a couple at Concordia, but I tell ya what, COU alumni really have something special to come home to.
We should be proud. We are Americana and small-town Iowa at its best. We are the red, white, and true blue.