October Surprise

Why bob for apples when you can bob for some of Ted's classics?

I think I'm about finally to a point where I don't really miss writing a weekly column. But if YOU still miss reading my weekly column- HERE ARE SOME HALLOWEEN RE-RUNS from years gone by, Halloween, Reformation and Dia de Los Muertes columns, some spooky pictures, and even some surreal Lutheran images!

Have fun but 'don't eat so much candy that you go into a diabetic coma!

arachnophobia

More Lutheran Surrealism

This year I decided to revisit the theme of Lutheran Surrealism, so here is a whole new batch of weirdness-
Martin Luther as Mexican muralist David Alfaro Siqueiros. (works for dia de los Muertos too).

C.F.W. Walther with Dali's mustache.

Phillip Melancthon can't sleep, based on one of Salvador Dali's more famous works.

Lutheran Surrealism

Last year, I was surfing the web and stumbled on this blog, http://lutheransurrealism.blogspot.com By this college professor who's into surrealist poetry and philosophy who became a Lutheran. His mind bending writing inspired me to PhotoShop a few of the great Surrealist paintings (that weren't totally lewd). Just in time for Reformation (October 31) Scary, huh?

Yeah, I stayed at school and waited for Parent/Teacher conferences to start, so I was REALLY bored. I promise I'm not on drugs, and I won't be offended if you don't "get it." I have kind of a weired sense of humor.

If you think they're funny, feel free to pass them on. Maybe we can start a cult or something.
Happy Reformation Day.

The persistence of litergy
Just like Salvador Dali's 'Persistence of Memory.' I used the LCMS's new "Lutheran Service Book from CPH because I couldn't find a good picture of the old blue 'Lutheran Worship' or what i was really looking for, the red 'Lutheran Hymnal.'


This is not a beer stein
ala Rene Magritte's famous, "This is not a pipe."

It's the Great Pumpkin, Karl Barth!
Robert L. Short in his book 'The Gospel According to Peanuts' pointed out that "Charlie Brown" may have been a cleverly devised literary device for cartoonist Charles Schultz to inject the ideas of the great twentieth century theologian "Karl (Charles) Barth (Brown)." Since he was one of my heroes, I always secretly hoped that since he was from Minnesota, Schultz was Lutheran, but I think actually he may have belonged to the Church of Christ or something like that. So what if Schultz wasn't a surrealist! Reformation and Halloween are the same day, so I'm allowed to take a little license. I always felt that Linus was more like Kierkegaard, but Barth's hair is kind of crazy like Linus's is in this picture. Really, Dietrich Bonhoeffer's face and head look more like Charlie Brown, but how can you satirize someone who was martyred by the NAZI's, I mean, come on, some things are sacred.

Some dark images

Merlin's Cave 1
A drawing, a painting, and an intaglio print melded together in photoshop. Spooky for Halloween, huh?
'Merlin' by Ralph Waldo Emerson

Thy trivial harp will never please
Or fill my craving ear;
Its chords should ring as blows the breeze,
Free, peremptory, clear.
No jingling serenader's art,
Nor tinkle of piano strings,
Can make the wild blood start
In its mystic springs.
The kingly bard
Must smile the chords rudely and hard,
As with hammer or with mace;
That they may render back
Artful thunder, which conveys
Secrets of the solar track,
Sparks of the supersolar blaze Note.
Merlin's blows are strokes of fate,
Chiming with the forest tone,
When boughs buffet boughs in the wood;
Chiming with the gasp and moan
Of the ice-imprisoned hood;
With the pulse of manly hearts;
With the voice of orators;
With the din of city arts;
With the cannonade of wars;
With the marches of the brave;
And prayers of might from martyrs' cave.



I put a charcoal drawing and a pencil drawing together, but did a lot in photoshop. Frankly I think this final composition is a stronger artwork than either of the two originals. I call this "of two minds." You could think of it as someone who is treacherous and "two-faced," or you could imagine someone with multiple-personality-disorder. Or you could just interpret it your own way. I thought it would be fun to do make something scary for Halloween. Boo!

October

Lutheran Surrealism

I was surfing the web and stumbled on this blog, http://lutheransurrealism.blogspot.com
By this college professor who's into surrealist poetry and philosophy who became a Lutheran. His mind bending writing inspired me to PhotoShop a few of the great Surrealist paintings (that weren't totally lewd). Just in time for Reformation (October 31) Scary, huh?

If you like Art, or Lutherans, you'll love these:
http://tmal.multiply.com/photos/album/72
Yeah, I stayed at school and waited for Parent/Teacher conferences to start, so I was REALLY bored. I promise I'm not on drugs, and I won't be offended if you don't "get it." I have kind of a weired sense of humor.

If you think they're funny, feel free to pass them on. Maybe we can start a cult or something.
Happy Reformation Day.

Finally coming down off the sugar high

Finally coming down off the sugar high
Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper Schleswig Leader, Thursday, November 9, 2006 Page 3

Last week, of course was Halloween. I had at least a couple of students tell me on Monday, not to expect them to be in school on Wednesday, because they knew they’d be out late on Halloween.

I rolled my eyes and asked if they were between the ages of three and ten. My implication being that trick or treating is really meant for little kids. Responsible adults attend their costume parties the weekend before, pretty much only hoodlums and occultists find it necessary to be out late on Halloween.

Our nine year old nephew decided that he was too old to run around in a silly costume this year, he’d rather help his Grandpa harvest corn. For some reason, when people hit 14 they decide it’s cool to dress up and behave silly again.

Tuesday afternoon at junior high cheerleading practice, as the girls were reviewing chants they’d just learned, our new junior high mascot asked if he could visit the campus day care and surprise the children during their Halloween party. I thought it was a sweet idea, so I gave my permission and off he went.

I should’ve known better, I should’ve warned him or given him a quick training session.
There was no in between. Kids had only two kinds of reactions. A few stormed him as they might Santa Claus- he got tackled and wrestled and roughed up by one group of children,
It was the other group of children that was the real problem. They were so frightened and inconsolable about the big grey bulldog that he eventually had to take his head off and speak gently to them so that they’d know he wasn’t a monster. This of course violated the mascot’s cardinal rule to never break character or reveal your secret identity, but it was the only solution.

A colleague of mine reminisced two days in a row about the pranks and acts of vandalism that kids used to commit in his town, relieved that doesn’t happen so much any more, half hoping that it wouldn’t.

I did spy a pair of teens dragging a trash barrel up a hill as we brought out children home around eight o’clock. I was worried that they were up to no good, but we soon found out what they were up to.

As we unloaded our costumed candy-consumers, we heard a blood-curdling noise in the distance. They were racing the trash barrels down the hill, like sleds without snow.

“At risk behavior?” Maybe, but certainly not malevolent or malicious.

It was just one more way that Halloween is different than it was in the Phoenix suburb where I grew up. Several of the kids on the block all met at one kids house, took pictures and started out walking around the block. We’d end the night on a cul-de-sac where one family had set up a haunted house in their garage. 8-10 year olds sometimes served as chaperons for 5-7 year olds. Parents really only accompanied the 2-4 year olds.

Some parents made their kids bring light sweatshirts or jackets, but most kids stuffed them in their candy bags so as not to ruin their costumes. Most of the time, the polyester costumes over your jeans and long sleeve shirt made you monstrously hot.

You know you’re from Iowa when your parents buy costumes two sizes too big so that you can fit it OVER your heavy winter coat and gloves.

My wife and sister-in-law and I must be major wimps because we decided that instead of walking all night, we should shuttle the kids around in a minivan with it’s heater blasting.

When we took pictures of our 8 year old renaissance princess, our four year old pumpkin, and our 20 month old “Mary Moo-Cow,” I was reminded more of Jean Shepherd’s “The Christmas Story,” than Halloween. Particularly when his little brother is so bundled up that when he falls down, he can’t get back up.

The Princess looked walked like a penguin, the pumpkin didn’t need any stuffing to be round and the cow looked like a inflated car air bag, only with a Holstein pattern.

She HATED having her costume put on over her coat, but she was certainly excited and proud once it was on.

“Go bye bye now?” Yes sweetie, let’s go trick-or-treating. “Treat? Cream?” No, honey, no ice cream, just candy. “Crayondee?” Not Crayons, CANDY. “Crayansd?”
At our first stop, she wanted my attention as soon as we were out of the van.
“DA-ad?” Yes kiddo?
“Meeeyeow!” Everyone giggled.
No, no sweety, you’re not a kitty, you’re a cow. Can you say MOOO?
Her sisters and cousin all started mooing until they got up to the door.

I had to appreciate stopping at our kid’s baby-sitter’s house for pictures. Paul Bockelman offered us chips and homemade salsa.

Thursday morning, Ellen, the 4 year old pumpkin told us that she’d been dreaming about candy.

“Those dreams are supposed to be for Christmas Eve, “ her mother told her. Sugar-plumbs and all that.

I think if I’d been sneaking treats from my tick-or-treat bucket every hour for the past 72 hours like her, I’d be having nightmares about candy.

Sure enough,
“Daddy, my tummy aches.”
Oh, why do you think that is, Hon.
"Too much Halloween."

Happy Halloween

Pumpkin Killer

My girls like the guts. You draw it, I'll carve it.
Happy Halloween- don't be SCARED to vote NEXT Tuesday.

The Great Reformer

Here is a portrait of Martin Luther that I made in PhotoShop. I Painted one of him in acrylic a few years ago as a going away present for a retiring pastor, but as far as I could tell, no one was all that excited about it. I wanted to make something new for Clergy Appreciation Month (October) but I just haven't got much time. So, I made a composite out of two historical paintings and a snapshot of Wartburg castle in Eisenach, Germany that I found on the web. One of the things that's always bothered me about Luther portraits are how stoic and stern he's portrayed. I think it's a German thing. But in his writings, a much more warm, kind, jovial, passionate and at times even smart-assed Luther is revealed. To achieve this, I used PhotoShop to help his face and eyes smile some. Then I tried to put a little sparkle in his eyes. I think I gave him at least slightly more paternal, approachable look than the way he's usually seen. Happy Reformation Day (Oct 31).

Here are the pictures I used to create the composite.


And here is the painting I did a couple of years ago:

Pumpkin guts! Doesn't this just gross you out?!

Forms and reforms

Last Sunday was a notable anniversary, in1650 a Bishop named James Usher declared that by his estimations and interpretation of Scripture, the Earth was created at 9am, on October 25th, 4004 B.C.

Tomorrow is not just Halloween or the day before All Saint’s Day, or Dia de Los Muertos. Tomorrow is the anniversary of an earth shaking event in social, political, cultural, literary and religious history. It was the day when a small town college professor posted some statements on the town’s bulletin board that he hoped that members of his university’s community would consider for discussion, possibly even debate.

Universities have always been hotbeds of free speech and debate, even in times of strict political-correctness. Be that as it may, the last thing this professor wanted to do was to start a revolution. Reformation maybe.

You see, to revolve (as in revolution) is to suddenly, radically alter your direction. To reform is to, well, to reform. People are always calling for reform right? Like, “welfare reform,” “We need to reform the school systems” or “why don’t they reform the tax code?” or “Our government is in serious need of reforms.” It means that you don’t throw out what you have, but you do try to clean it up or repair it.

Whenever I think of reforming, I think about working with clay. If a student in my ceramics class doesn’t like how their clay pot is turning out they don’t need a whole new hunk of clay. They just need to take the cup they formed out of the clay, mush it back into a ball and re-form a new cup.

So on October 31, 1517 Doctor Martin Luther posted his 95 theses on the Disputation of the Power and Efficacy of Indulgences. And if you’ll forgive the metaphor, all Hell broke loose.

An “indulgence” was a get-out-of purgatory card. They were being sold to help pay for the construction of St. Peter’s in Rome. You know St. Peter’s, Michelangelo, Bernini, the Renaissance, a little Baroque, the plaza where you look for black or white smoke when they announce a new pope. Expensive art and architecture

Luther’s argument was that Jesus died to forgive our sins, priests, and even the Pope pretty much just announce that forgiveness to us. No amount of money donated to any church pays for our sins, Jesus’ own blood did that.

Basically, Luther’s hope was to reform a bloated, corrupt bureaucracy, not start his own religion. His point of view was simplify. Drop all the red tape and focus on Jesus. Drop the miles of regulations and traditions and narrow it down to three things; the Bible, Faith and Grace. “Grace alone, Faith alone, Scripture alone.”

We all sin and fall short of God’s glory, rich or poor, well educated or not, prince or pauper (Romans 3:22-24). What saves us is Jesus. Heaven is not for goodie goodies, it’s for people who recognize that they need Jesus’ forgiveness, but that forgiveness is a gift- that’s grace. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Grace doesn’t come from a piece of paper or an official proclamation, it comes through faith. Trusting and believing that Jesus is who He says He is and that He did what He came to do- that’s faith. (Romans 10:17)

Luther implemented some Vatican II style changes too. Like having the congregation sing, not just a choir of monks. The biggest change had to be allowing and encouraging lay-people to read their Bibles. He translated it into their own language and encouraged everyone to be taught to read. During much of the dark ages and the renaissance mainly priests and lawyers could read at all, and very few of them could read Latin, which the Bible was published in.

Reading and Schooling was important so that we could read the Bible for our selves and develop a personal relationship with Jesus. When we do that, God equips us with everything we need to serve Him (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

After all, the name “Christian” means little anointed ones, if our faith is sincere, what we’ll want to be like Jesus and do the things He did; love, pray, help, serve, share. In other words, “minister.” Luther called this “the priesthood of all believers (1 Peter 2:9-10). Sure, congregations still need qualified leaders, that’s why you send pastors to seminary to learn how to read Greek and Hebrew and study theology, but every believer is part of the “body of Christ” and the ground at the foot of the cross is level (Galatians 3: 28).

Since Vatican II, most American Catholics put their focus on Jesus. Every Christian denomination and every congregation faces scandals and controversies. None is perfect or has an absolute monopoly on truth, only God Himself has that. We all argue and disagree from time to time even within our own congregations. But if we can agree that Jesus is the son of God, we are brothers and sisters.

The example Luther gave to all of us is to not become overwhelmed by details and doubts. Keep it simple, focus on Jesus (Matthew 6:33), read your Bible. What else do you need to know? Jesus saves (John 3:16). That’s all you need. Grace alone, Faith alone, Scripture alone.


I had grandparents who were Catholic, an aunt and uncle who were Baptist, others who’re Methodist. As amatter of fact just last week I had a Methodist tell me that this list sounds like them too! Here it is; You might be a Lutheran if...

You're watching Star Wars and when they say "May the Force™ be with you" you reply, "and also with you."

You sing "Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus" while sitting down

It takes you 10 minutes to say goodbye

Your church library has 3 Jell-O™ cookbooks

You have an uncontrollable urge to sit in the back of any room

During communion you hum the hymns so you can see who's at church that Sunday

A meeting isn't a meeting unless it takes 3 hours

You feel guilty about not feeling guilty

Your church is on fire, and you rush in to save the coffee pot"

Grace alone. Faith alone. Scripture alone. Coffee with other Lutherans. Staley’s Chicken with Catholics and Methodists!

¡Feliz Dia de los Muertos, Calabaza Grande y Señior Araña!

Last year I tried, obviously in vain, to get people to focus on children, innocence, candy, and pretend at Halloween, instead of violence, evil, mischief and the occult. If you remember back that far, I wrote about Charlie Brown, Linus, and the Great Pumpkin (Calabaza Grande). Let me have another stab at it.

By the way, last year we encouraged Grace to choose a cute, maybe even feminine costume, like a princess or an angel or fairy or something like that, but what did she choose? A fireman. Excuse me, a fire-FIGHTER, not gender specific. I THINK it had to do with the fact that we went costume shopping right after Noah’s Ark Preschool took its field trip to the fire station.

Go ahead and take a look at this week’s front page- I’m plenty proud. Mind you, I’m a pretty progressive dad. I really believe Grace can be anything she wants to when she grows up, even President (although why would anyone want to?), there are already plenty of women firefighters, so I was all for it, what the heck.

Last weekend we were visiting cousins up in Sioux Falls and decided to ask Grace what she’d like to be for Halloween this year.

Spiderman.

Hmmm. How about Barbie? –No, ‘Pie der mawn- Oh, look honey, it’s Belle from Beauty and the Beast. –No, SPAWDERMAHN-

Okay, Spiderman. Forget that he’s a he. It took a really long time to convince Grace that she could be queen and being queen is just as good or better than being king (ex: Queen Elizabeth II and “king” Phillip of England), but she can never be king because she’s a girl and kings are all boys.

Spiderman shoots webs, swings between tall buildings, wears red white and blue and helps people by stopping bad guys. He’s a really smart, nice, kid next door. So great, you’ll be spider WOMAN to your Mom and I, but great. Spiders and Halloween, perfect match.

Have you tried getting your hands on a Spiderman costume lately? Not at K-Mart. ShopKo had one left, but the mask part was missing. I would say, don’t be surprised if every kid and his sister trick or treats as Spiderman, because the stores can’t seem to keep them on the shelves!

If Grace comes to your door looking for candy on Saturday morning, November first, you’ll know why. It will be because Bethany ordered her Spiderman costume on the internet, but they promised to ship it within five business days, one day late and several dollars too many.

I’m frustrated anyway because whatever she dresses up as, I have to miss it. Boyer Valley has an away game so I have to haul our cheerleading squad and mascot all the way out to Lake View. How much ya wanna bet all the cheerleaders beg me to wear stupid costumes instead of their uniforms?

Say, if I shave my beard, could I pass as Saddam Hussein?

I think Ellie is going to dress like Humpty Dumpty. Who says he wasn’t a she? She was an egg for crying out loud. Eggs don’t have gender, yet. Right?

Here’s what I think. Instead of monsters and demons and witches and chainsaw murderers, let’s adapt the Mexican take on Halloween. “Dia de los Muertos,” that is, “the Day of the Dead,” is a positive, joyful, family holiday.

The Mexican point of view is that this life is a dream and when you die, you “wake up” to reality. Therefore you don’t have to be afraid of death and life is a temporary thing that doesn’t need to be taken too seriously.

Dia de los Muertos is about family. Instead of having their family reunions in July or August, families come home to be together from October 31- November 2. November 1st, as you know is a Church holiday, All Saint’s Day- the day of the dead, when Mexicans honor and remember their ancestors and the family members and loved ones who died during the previous year. Mexicans have picnics in the cemetery and decorate grave sites with flowers, colorful cut-paper banners and paper maché skeleton dolls.

November first is actually considered “Dia de los Angelitos,” day of the little children who died. Kids munch on sugar skulls with their names written on them in chocolate icing. The Devil isn’t considered a powerful arch rival to God, he is a scheming fool who doesn’t have any power over you unless you offer it to him. Sort of like Wile E. Coyote.

There’s even a special supper where whoever bites into a plastic toy skeleton baked into their sugar bread, has good luck for the next year!

Festive colors, family, faith, candy, feeling safe, feeling like you belong…that sounds wonderful. I’ll take those things over weird pagan ceremonies, zombies, vampires, blood and gore, murder and mayhem any day.

I used to like Batman when I was a kid. Dark, scary, brooding multimillionaire. But now I like Spiderman. Young, upbeat, and a freelance photographer. Keep slingin’ those wild webs Spidey (AKA: “Araña”),

¡Buenos nochés niñios y niñias!

Oh Great Pumpkin, where are you?!

Today I carry on a ritual that I began when ten years ago. I’m sometimes known, not as "the Art teacher," but as "the teacher who shows Peanuts videos." Today, of course, is the day to see "It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown," in Mr. Mallory’s classes.

Call it my contribution to stemming the tide of darkness, violence, anger, and over commercialization of Halloween. Occasionally over the years people have asked me how I, being someone so deeply religious can celebrate Halloween. I tell them if Charles Schultz could do it, that’s good enough for me.

Schultz has been important to me since I was a tot. You know how there’s always that project in 4H where the kids have to show off a collection they’ve accumulated? Well, mine was for Cub Scouts and it was my collection of 1950’s and 60’s Peanuts books. That collection might have been what led me to want to become a cartoonist and to become an art teacher.

Like lots of little kids, I liked to feel sorry for myself, I’d get picked last for teams, I couldn’t kick a football to save my life. So it made perfect sense that I found comfort in Peanuts. When Lucy first pulled the football on TV in "It’s the Great Pumpkin," in 1965, millions of little kids who felt sorry for themselves identified with poor Charlie Brown.

The more I read about Peanuts creator Charles Schultz, the more I admired him. You may have heard much of the trivia about him since the 50th anniversary of Peanuts and his death early in 2001. He’s originally from St. Paul, Minnesota. His father was a barber, just like Charlie Brown’s. He had a beagle puppy named Sparky who’d eat anything. Schultz’s first published drawing was of Sparky eating razor blades; he sent it in to Ripley’s Believe it or Not.

Schultz thought about becoming a pastor, he was active in his church. He fell in love with a red-haired girl, like Charlie Brown, but lost her to a friend because he was too shy to speak up in time. After serving in WWII he sent in one of those "draw Tippy the turtle" Art tests for Art Instruction Schools. Eventually he worked for them as an Art teacher while he tried to get his cartoons published in magazines and newspapers.

In 1950 United Features Syndicate started selling his comic strip "little folks" and renamed it "Peanuts." In 1965 CBS took a chance on his half-hour special "A Charlie Brown Christmas." It broke the rules, it didn’t have a hyper active fast pace, it didn’t have a laugh track, it included a score performed by a jazz trio. Real children performed all the voices of the children. Little Cathy Steinberg, who played the voice of Sally, Charlie Brown’s little sister couldn’t even read yet! They had to read her lines to her and have her repeat them into the microphone. And most daring of all, it had an overt Christian message. They read from the Bible itself on national television.

The very next year, in 1966 came the Great Pumpkin. Both specials were perennial favorites on CBS for more than thirty years. Now Disney’s ABC owns the rights, but generations continue to enjoy Schultz’s masterpieces.

The Great Pumpkin has a lot to say about life. Linus is the Quixotic prophet, desperately trying to convince people to believe in the Great Pumpkin, but like Jesus called the unbelievers of His day, the other kids in the neighborhood remained "ever hearing, but never understanding; be ever seeing, but never perceiving (Isaiah 6:9 & Mark 4:12)."

But, like most of us Linus is a bit of a hypocrite. Lets face it, was it really about having the most sincere pumpkin patch, or was it about getting the big prize of all the candy and toys showered on you as the Great Pumpkin flies through the air. It’s about faith as opposed to works.

It’s also about greed and misplaced faith. Sally could have just trusted her big brother and get candy just by asking for it, but instead she follows the false prophet Linus and squanders her entire night sitting in a pumpkin patch, hoping for a for a bigger pay off than any of the other kids. "Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened (Luke 11:8-10)."

Halloween was once All Saint’s Day Eve, a Church holiday, and then it became about superstition and fear. For a while in America, Halloween was about little kids, neighborhoods, hospitality, generosity, candy and costumes. In recent years it seems to have become more and more about big kids and adults, parties, pranks, blood and gore, demons and witchcraft, vampires and serial killers.

I say, take it back. Claim it for decency, civility and little kids. Make it about faith and mystery, surprises and silliness, not about meanness, anger, revenge and evil. Read the comics, rent "It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown," and buy good candy, not just candy corns either, but something chocolate. But please, please, remember poor Charlie Brown and don’t give any little kids rocks.