October Surprise

Why bob for apples when you can bob for some of Ted's classics?

I think I'm about finally to a point where I don't really miss writing a weekly column. But if YOU still miss reading my weekly column- HERE ARE SOME HALLOWEEN RE-RUNS from years gone by, Halloween, Reformation and Dia de Los Muertes columns, some spooky pictures, and even some surreal Lutheran images!

Have fun but 'don't eat so much candy that you go into a diabetic coma!

More Lutheran Surrealism

This year I decided to revisit the theme of Lutheran Surrealism, so here is a whole new batch of weirdness-
Martin Luther as Mexican muralist David Alfaro Siqueiros. (works for dia de los Muertos too).

C.F.W. Walther with Dali's mustache.

Phillip Melancthon can't sleep, based on one of Salvador Dali's more famous works.

Lutheran Surrealism

Last year, I was surfing the web and stumbled on this blog, http://lutheransurrealism.blogspot.com By this college professor who's into surrealist poetry and philosophy who became a Lutheran. His mind bending writing inspired me to PhotoShop a few of the great Surrealist paintings (that weren't totally lewd). Just in time for Reformation (October 31) Scary, huh?

Yeah, I stayed at school and waited for Parent/Teacher conferences to start, so I was REALLY bored. I promise I'm not on drugs, and I won't be offended if you don't "get it." I have kind of a weired sense of humor.

If you think they're funny, feel free to pass them on. Maybe we can start a cult or something.
Happy Reformation Day.

The persistence of litergy
Just like Salvador Dali's 'Persistence of Memory.' I used the LCMS's new "Lutheran Service Book from CPH because I couldn't find a good picture of the old blue 'Lutheran Worship' or what i was really looking for, the red 'Lutheran Hymnal.'


This is not a beer stein
ala Rene Magritte's famous, "This is not a pipe."

It's the Great Pumpkin, Karl Barth!
Robert L. Short in his book 'The Gospel According to Peanuts' pointed out that "Charlie Brown" may have been a cleverly devised literary device for cartoonist Charles Schultz to inject the ideas of the great twentieth century theologian "Karl (Charles) Barth (Brown)." Since he was one of my heroes, I always secretly hoped that since he was from Minnesota, Schultz was Lutheran, but I think actually he may have belonged to the Church of Christ or something like that. So what if Schultz wasn't a surrealist! Reformation and Halloween are the same day, so I'm allowed to take a little license. I always felt that Linus was more like Kierkegaard, but Barth's hair is kind of crazy like Linus's is in this picture. Really, Dietrich Bonhoeffer's face and head look more like Charlie Brown, but how can you satirize someone who was martyred by the NAZI's, I mean, come on, some things are sacred.

Lutheran Surrealism

I was surfing the web and stumbled on this blog, http://lutheransurrealism.blogspot.com
By this college professor who's into surrealist poetry and philosophy who became a Lutheran. His mind bending writing inspired me to PhotoShop a few of the great Surrealist paintings (that weren't totally lewd). Just in time for Reformation (October 31) Scary, huh?

If you like Art, or Lutherans, you'll love these:
http://tmal.multiply.com/photos/album/72
Yeah, I stayed at school and waited for Parent/Teacher conferences to start, so I was REALLY bored. I promise I'm not on drugs, and I won't be offended if you don't "get it." I have kind of a weired sense of humor.

If you think they're funny, feel free to pass them on. Maybe we can start a cult or something.
Happy Reformation Day.

The Great Reformer

Here is a portrait of Martin Luther that I made in PhotoShop. I Painted one of him in acrylic a few years ago as a going away present for a retiring pastor, but as far as I could tell, no one was all that excited about it. I wanted to make something new for Clergy Appreciation Month (October) but I just haven't got much time. So, I made a composite out of two historical paintings and a snapshot of Wartburg castle in Eisenach, Germany that I found on the web. One of the things that's always bothered me about Luther portraits are how stoic and stern he's portrayed. I think it's a German thing. But in his writings, a much more warm, kind, jovial, passionate and at times even smart-assed Luther is revealed. To achieve this, I used PhotoShop to help his face and eyes smile some. Then I tried to put a little sparkle in his eyes. I think I gave him at least slightly more paternal, approachable look than the way he's usually seen. Happy Reformation Day (Oct 31).

Here are the pictures I used to create the composite.


And here is the painting I did a couple of years ago:

the Priesthood of all believers

Over the last several years I have wrestled with whether or not to go back to school to become a pastor. One of the things that most holds me back is my obligation to my immediate family first and the Church second (see 2 Corinthians 7:32-35). The other is the ridiculous amount of politics an controversy in the Church (see 1 Tim 6:4 & Titus 3:9). There is an element of malcontents who make it their business to police the Church for heretics when they should be about the work of the Great Commission. Mostly it irritates me, but I'd be lying if I said that it didn't also intimidate me.

But the more I pray about it and the more I read the Bible, the less I think that it is necessary to wear a black collar and have the letters "Rev." before your name.

All of us are called to the "priesthood of all believers" (1 Pet 2:9). So, wherever God takes me, whether I remain a public school teacher or became a trash collector, He can use me and work through me as His instrument. I will not let myself feel inadequate or inferior for not being in "professional" ministry.

After all in His book "Babylonian Captivity of the Church," Martin Luther himself said that pastors are no better than laymen, they are only in a different office.

The first President of the Lutheran Church~Missouri Synod, C. F. W. Walther said: "Mission work is particularly the obligation of Lutheran Christians today because of the wealth God has given them and the open doors He has set before them. . . No one should say 'I am no pastor'. . . You have been baptized and through Holy Baptism . . . every Christian has received not only the power, but the full authority and the right, but also the obligation under penalty of losing divine grace himself or herself, to watch, to care and to help that others may also be enlightened and brought to Christ."

So if God wants me to be an actual pastor so badly, He can make it happen, but I don't need to stress-out about it anymore. I'm sick of fretting and fuming. I know that He has use for me and has touched people in my life already.

In so far as God speaks through me and uses me to share His Word with others, I am a Prophet.

In so far as God uses me as an intermediator when I intercede on behalf of others with Him in prayer, and represent His love and forgiveness to others daily, I am a Priest.

In so far as God uses me as an example and a leader and because Christ makes us heirs to His Kingdom, I am a King.

The name "Christian" means "little imitators of Chirst," or "little anointed ones." You and I are all called, made holy and set aside for God's purposes.

Thank God that He saved me by grace, through faith, in order to do the good works for which He created me (Ephesians 2:8-10.)

Noah’s Ark still afloat with Bramley at the helm

I was driving my two year old, Ellen to the babysitter one morning when we had an interesting conversation.

“Where’d Hewen go?” she asked.
“Your sister GRACE is with Mommy, Mommy is driving her to preschool, and by the way, YOUR name is Ellen,” I replied.
“She go schoooowel? Me wan go schooowel,” she said.
“Well, I know you’d love to go to school, but you’re not old enough yet, by the way, how old are you, Ellen?” I quizzed her.
“Me five!” she announced.
“Nooo, you’re two,” I explained, holding up two fingers.
“NO! Me FWIVE!!!” she screamed.
“Honey, listen, calm down, think about it,” I reasoned (temporarily forgetting that reasoning with a two year old is about as smart as trying to train your cat to heard sheep). “Your older sister, GRACE, is only four, and you’re the LITTLE sister, you’re just two, get it?”
“Oh-tay,” she relented.
“So how old are you?” just wanting to make sure I had gotten through.
“ME TWOO!” she grinned and held up two fingers.
I smiled and sighed, apparently I’d gotten somewhere.

I love the fact that she longs to learn and has finally gotten to an age where she’ll slow down long enough to climb on our laps for a us to read to her.
We’re really fortunate that Grace loves school too. Although, many is the evening when we ask “Grace, what did you learn about in school today?” only to have her shrug and answer “things.” I thought that kind of thing wasn’t supposed to happen till at least junior high.

Research has established that preschool education can produce substantial gains in children's learning and development. Christian preschools not only give kids a head start, they also lay a foundation of faith and relationships for children.

The Barna Research Institute discovered that a person’s lifelong behaviors and views are generally developed when they are young – particularly before they reach the teenage years. A person’s moral foundations are generally in place by the time they reach age nine (fourth grade). A majority of Americans make a lasting determination about the personal significance of Christ’s death and resurrection by age 12 (seventh grade).

It always boggles my mind when parents proudly proclaim that they’re not forcing their religion on their child, they want them to make up their minds for themselves when they’re old enough. Obviously these parents don’t genuinely believe whatever faith they claim to profess because if you KNOW and BELIEVE that God is real and that the Bible is true, why would you treat that knowledge as if it were merely an option, a choice. We inoculate our children with vaccines to protect them from deadly diseases, why not share with them that God loves them and wants what is best for them while they’re young too?

This is National Lutheran Schools Week. Martin Luther once argued that schools were more important than even homeland security.:
“Even though only a single boy could thereby be trained to become a real Christian, we ought to give a hundred dollars to this cause for every dollar we would give to fight the Turk, even if they were breathing down our necks,” he wrote in a sermon promoting education.
The main reason Luther encouraged parents to make sure their children received an education was so that they could one day read the Bible for themselves and thereby develop a personal relationship with God. That’s a value that Methodists, Catholics, Baptists, and every Christian can appreciate.

Many people remember that St. John Lutheran Church in Charter Oak once had a Lutheran elementary school, but how many realize that they still have a Lutheran school?

St. Johns Lutheran’s preschool, “Noah’s Ark” has been blest by the loving care, and instruction of Mrs. Sandy Bramley since 1981. This Lutheran Schools Week, I want to recognize Sandy for her important work. Sandy has introduced generations of Charter Oak children to Jesus and the Bible. She has started them on their life’s journey of learning and working together. Thank you, Sandy and may God continue to bless the work He does through you.

Lynn Hoffman is someone who also played a major role in Noah’s Ark for many years. If you or one of your children have been a student of Sandy or Lynn over the years, why not send them a note and let them know what a difference they make and what they mean to you?

Forms and reforms

Last Sunday was a notable anniversary, in1650 a Bishop named James Usher declared that by his estimations and interpretation of Scripture, the Earth was created at 9am, on October 25th, 4004 B.C.

Tomorrow is not just Halloween or the day before All Saint’s Day, or Dia de Los Muertos. Tomorrow is the anniversary of an earth shaking event in social, political, cultural, literary and religious history. It was the day when a small town college professor posted some statements on the town’s bulletin board that he hoped that members of his university’s community would consider for discussion, possibly even debate.

Universities have always been hotbeds of free speech and debate, even in times of strict political-correctness. Be that as it may, the last thing this professor wanted to do was to start a revolution. Reformation maybe.

You see, to revolve (as in revolution) is to suddenly, radically alter your direction. To reform is to, well, to reform. People are always calling for reform right? Like, “welfare reform,” “We need to reform the school systems” or “why don’t they reform the tax code?” or “Our government is in serious need of reforms.” It means that you don’t throw out what you have, but you do try to clean it up or repair it.

Whenever I think of reforming, I think about working with clay. If a student in my ceramics class doesn’t like how their clay pot is turning out they don’t need a whole new hunk of clay. They just need to take the cup they formed out of the clay, mush it back into a ball and re-form a new cup.

So on October 31, 1517 Doctor Martin Luther posted his 95 theses on the Disputation of the Power and Efficacy of Indulgences. And if you’ll forgive the metaphor, all Hell broke loose.

An “indulgence” was a get-out-of purgatory card. They were being sold to help pay for the construction of St. Peter’s in Rome. You know St. Peter’s, Michelangelo, Bernini, the Renaissance, a little Baroque, the plaza where you look for black or white smoke when they announce a new pope. Expensive art and architecture

Luther’s argument was that Jesus died to forgive our sins, priests, and even the Pope pretty much just announce that forgiveness to us. No amount of money donated to any church pays for our sins, Jesus’ own blood did that.

Basically, Luther’s hope was to reform a bloated, corrupt bureaucracy, not start his own religion. His point of view was simplify. Drop all the red tape and focus on Jesus. Drop the miles of regulations and traditions and narrow it down to three things; the Bible, Faith and Grace. “Grace alone, Faith alone, Scripture alone.”

We all sin and fall short of God’s glory, rich or poor, well educated or not, prince or pauper (Romans 3:22-24). What saves us is Jesus. Heaven is not for goodie goodies, it’s for people who recognize that they need Jesus’ forgiveness, but that forgiveness is a gift- that’s grace. (Ephesians 2:8-9)

Grace doesn’t come from a piece of paper or an official proclamation, it comes through faith. Trusting and believing that Jesus is who He says He is and that He did what He came to do- that’s faith. (Romans 10:17)

Luther implemented some Vatican II style changes too. Like having the congregation sing, not just a choir of monks. The biggest change had to be allowing and encouraging lay-people to read their Bibles. He translated it into their own language and encouraged everyone to be taught to read. During much of the dark ages and the renaissance mainly priests and lawyers could read at all, and very few of them could read Latin, which the Bible was published in.

Reading and Schooling was important so that we could read the Bible for our selves and develop a personal relationship with Jesus. When we do that, God equips us with everything we need to serve Him (2 Timothy 3:16-17).

After all, the name “Christian” means little anointed ones, if our faith is sincere, what we’ll want to be like Jesus and do the things He did; love, pray, help, serve, share. In other words, “minister.” Luther called this “the priesthood of all believers (1 Peter 2:9-10). Sure, congregations still need qualified leaders, that’s why you send pastors to seminary to learn how to read Greek and Hebrew and study theology, but every believer is part of the “body of Christ” and the ground at the foot of the cross is level (Galatians 3: 28).

Since Vatican II, most American Catholics put their focus on Jesus. Every Christian denomination and every congregation faces scandals and controversies. None is perfect or has an absolute monopoly on truth, only God Himself has that. We all argue and disagree from time to time even within our own congregations. But if we can agree that Jesus is the son of God, we are brothers and sisters.

The example Luther gave to all of us is to not become overwhelmed by details and doubts. Keep it simple, focus on Jesus (Matthew 6:33), read your Bible. What else do you need to know? Jesus saves (John 3:16). That’s all you need. Grace alone, Faith alone, Scripture alone.


I had grandparents who were Catholic, an aunt and uncle who were Baptist, others who’re Methodist. As amatter of fact just last week I had a Methodist tell me that this list sounds like them too! Here it is; You might be a Lutheran if...

You're watching Star Wars and when they say "May the Force™ be with you" you reply, "and also with you."

You sing "Stand Up, Stand Up for Jesus" while sitting down

It takes you 10 minutes to say goodbye

Your church library has 3 Jell-O™ cookbooks

You have an uncontrollable urge to sit in the back of any room

During communion you hum the hymns so you can see who's at church that Sunday

A meeting isn't a meeting unless it takes 3 hours

You feel guilty about not feeling guilty

Your church is on fire, and you rush in to save the coffee pot"

Grace alone. Faith alone. Scripture alone. Coffee with other Lutherans. Staley’s Chicken with Catholics and Methodists!

A great place to grow

6 He spreads the snow like wool
and scatters the frost like ashes.
17 He hurls down his hail like pebbles.
Who can withstand his icy blast?
18 He sends his word and melts them;
he stirs up his breezes, and the waters flow.

~Psalm 147: 16-18 (NIV)

Just wanted to give you a little hope that as mean as March may be, this too shall pass and eventually we’ll be mowing the grass!

This is "National Lutheran Schools Week (March 2-8)." The theme this year for Missouri Synod schools is "A Great Place to Grow."

Some of you are wondering why I’m bothering to write about this since some of you are Catholic, Methodist, something else or don’t attend any Church and we don’t really have a Lutheran K-8 in Ute or Charter Oak. The reason I’m bothering is because it’s something very close to my heart, so please give me a chance and read on.

Many of our readers once attended St. John’s Lutheran School in Charter Oak and it left an indelible mark on them. The reason is because it was a great place to grow.

I attended Christ Lutheran School in Phoenix from Kindergarten through eighth grade. I believe that receiving a Christ-centered education gave me solid ethical, intellectual, creative, and social foundation.

Valley Lutheran High was brand new when I was ready for High School, so I didn’t want to take a chance on it,. That may have been a mistake because with 2,600 students Shadow Mountain High School may have been able to offer more programs and resources, but it was unable to offer the individual attention, genuine care and sense of community that Christ Lutheran did.

Because of my work on the school newspaper, in Commercial Art class, and Art Club at S.M., Professor Bill Wolfram of Concordia College in Seward Nebraska recruited me for their Art Department. Seward not only has the best Art program of the ten Concordias nationwide, we have one of the most prestigious departments in the Midwest- even compared to big universities and vocational schools.

Charter Oak seems to have sent a disproportionate number of students to Seward over the years, so the odds favored me finding a spouse from here. Bethany and I got married amidst Charter Oak’s Centennial. After graduation we were called to serve as "Commissioned Ministers of the Gospel: Teachers" at Los Angeles Lutheran Jr/Sr high School.

I admit, at first we felt like God had sent us to Nineveh. Not only did we suffer culture shock, but our apartment was destroyed in the Northridge Earthquake. We were ready to leave before the first year was up, but our pastor there counseled us to tough it out. I’m glad we did.

We didn’t see it as a job, we saw it as a calling, a vocation, a mission and ministry. We didn’t just teach and coach kids, we listened to, cared for, cried with, held, counseled, prayed for and prayed with students from all walks of life. What’s more, our own faiths were nurtured and fed through our fellowship with our fellow faculty members and diverse and dynamic worship opportunities on and off campus. We even saw several students brought to Christ and baptized during our weekly Chapel services.

This year we’re facing some milestones. Because we have been teaching in public schools now for three years, the Church has taken our names of it’s official roster of commissioned teachers. L.A. Lutheran is celebrating it’s 50th anniversary, and the last group of student we taught there will be graduating this May.

I don’t know much about Zion Lutheran Elementary in Denison. I do know that it means a lot to me that my daughter Grace is not just learning about letters and colors at Noah’s Ark Pre-School, she is also learning about Jesus’ love for her and how He wants us to love each other.

If the proponents of "bigger is better" ever get their way and we eliminate all the 1A and 2A high schools in Iowa, I hope and pray that the Churches of our communities will consider cooperating in the establishment of a Christian Charter School in Charter Oak.

Martin Luther supported the concept of universal education because he believed that everyone should be taught to read. He believed everyone should read be taught to read so that they can read the Bible for themselves, so that each person can know a personal relationship with the Lord. Whether it’s in a Lutheran, Catholic, or Public School or home schooling, I can think of nothing more important than education.

Please consider contributing to a Lutheran school. It’s tax deductible. Go to www.dcs.lcms.org/school/info.html to find out more. Even if you never take the opportunity to support a Lutheran school financially, PLEASE, encourage your children to value their education no matter what kind of school they go to. And please support their teachers and administrators, support them with prayer, with respect, with time, with your vote, and with appreciation, no matter what kind of school they teach in.

Midwestern Boy

When I was in junior high, I was trying to figure out who I was. Isn’t that what every kid is doing in junior high? I looked around at my friends and all their lives seemed more exciting than mine did.

Lots of kids were dealing with their parents’ divorces; some kids had lots of money or knew someone famous. Everybody else seemed to have a more interesting life than mine. Mine was just too boring, too "Leave it to Beaver." I had both parents, they worked hard to make sure we had clothes and food and they loved us. We lived in a ranch house in the suburbs where my brother and I had paper routes. Boring-ville.

When I was in junior high in Phoenix, the Black kids had a culture; the Mexican kids had a heritage and a culture and great food. American Indian kids had all that and cool pow-wows and costumes and stuff. The Italian kids had great cooking and style.

I felt left out. I thought that White Anglo Saxon Protestant lower-middle class suburbia was boring. If only we were rich or poor or members of some oppressed minority group. Drama, passion, contrast. Could you imagine? Envying hardship. Other kids turned to teenaged angst, punk rock and pot. I turned east.

Hardly anyone in Phoenix is from Phoenix. My parents had left the Detroit area in 1968. Now there’s drama, it just took years and college classes about recent history for me to see it. They wanted a better life for us. Better weather, better economic conditions, and away from all the racial tension and political unrest that Detroit had come to symbolize.

What it meant for me was that I could say I was (sort of) from the Midwest. Suddenly I had a sense of identity. I had a culture, even if it was kind of bland. The summers we spent in Michigan I was introduced to such foreign, exotic and romantic things as twilight, casseroles home made pies, fishing, and Jell-O salads.

Then I stumbled upon a radio show that was all about my newly chosen ethnicity. Garrison Keillor's "A Prairie Home Companion" on National Public Radio. I’d savor it the way I imagine Eastern Europeans under Soviet oppression savored the Voice or Democracy on Radio Free Europe.

Keillor's self-effacing humor focused on what’s funny about the mundane. Like how the front-row for Lutherans is five or six rows back. Or his "Young Lutheran’s Guide to the Orchestra:"

"Many Lutherans start out playing clarinets in marching band and think of it as a pretty good instrument and kind of sociable…But the symphonic clarinet is different: clever, sarcastic, kind of snooty. It's a nice small town instrument that went to college and after that you can't get a simple answer out of them. It _is_ a French instrument, you know. Ever wonder why there are no French Lutherans? Probably the wine wasn't good enough for them."

I thought this was great stuff, especially since I played the clarinet in junior high and hated it. All the cool kids played trumpet or drums. But my older brother had played clarinet, so I played clarinet. Keillor made it okay, I was humble, it’s good to be humble, learn to laugh at yourself.

Who knew? I went to Concordia College in Nebraska because of their great art program, because they offered me a scholarship, and because it was far away from home.

Junior year of high school on the plane to Journalism Workshop at Ball State University in Indiana, kids from all over the country assumed I was from Chicago. When they found out I was from Phoenix, they’d look at me funny. Too heavy, too short, too pale, too not-blonde.

Then there was the one about the Art Major and the farmer’s daughter. Just that he married her, no joke. So, that’s how I became a Midwesterner, I married into it. Kids at Boyer Valley are always asking why anyone would want to choose to live in rural Iowa. They want nothing more then to get the heck out of their one-horse town.

I tell them that I lived in the second largest city in America for the better part of a decade and I’d much rather live in a village than a megalopolis. Sure, we still have crime, and drugs, and poverty, but I never had dinner with my state representative in LA, I never knew my postmaster by name. I never talked to the LA County Sheriff about being a fellow church youth counselor.

This is a good place to live and a good place to be from. You can say, ‘I’m an Iowan’ and not be ashamed, it may not seem as exotic as being an Ethiopian, but why be jealous of hardship? Why not appreciate your roots and how blessed you are to be from the heartland?