In the interest of self-disclosure; Where I’m coming from and why you wouldn’t think so

The Apostle Paul once made an impassioned declaration of his credentials as a Jew to Jewish members of the new sect that followed “the Way,” (aka Jesus). He described in detail his lineage and pedigree, down to the denomination (Pharisee) to the point than no one could dispute his authority in matters of Jewish laws and traditions.

Much of my adult life I’ve felt like I had to defend my credentials as a conservative. By that I mean as a traditional, straight-laced, straight-shooting, hard-working, family-loving, small-town, middle class, Midwestern white guy. People tend to question my middle-America, middle-of-the-road, stable, straight-arrowness because I vote like a bleeding-heart and I wear that bleeding-heart on my sleeve.

I came from a very stable home in the very sterile suburbs of 1970’s Phoenix Arizona. My parents moved there in before I was born. I’d like to think that it wasn’t a case of “white-flight,” my older brother suffered with asthma and allergies and my parents suffered from family infighting and unrest, but they did leave the Detroit area in 1968. 1969 may have been known as the summer of love, but 1968 was a year of race riots, anti war demonstrations and political assassinations. “Out West,” and the sun belt seemed like the New Frontier that JFK had promised back in 1960.

I choose to believe that my parents were more concerned with our safety than with property values or integration because they taught us to be tolerant of and kind toward people of all colors and creeds. Once upon a time “tolerance” was considered a value rather than a vice.

My childhood was textbook example of stability and normalcy. My parents never divorced and to our knowledge never faced any challenges of infidelity. My Dad had a good paying, union job with an airline. He used to say that part of the year we were middle-middle class, and part of the year we were lower-middle class. I’m not sure if that depended on over-time, holiday bonuses, or tax refunds, but we always had food on the table and clothes on out backs, even if we never had a brand new vehicle or as many of the newest toys that little boys drooled over in the Sears-Robuck Christmas Wish Book catalog.

Surely I was the product and chief beneficiary of the American Dream.
My Mother was a stay-at-home mom most of the time. Some years she took secretarial or temp jobs, I suppose to help pay for home improvements, vacations or to put my brother and through parochial school. While she demonstrated for us that women were as smart and capable and worthy of respect as men, she never burned her bras or pontificated about the need to be “liberated” or to have her own career or identity apart from my Dad. If anything, she often preached to us about how the husband was to be the head of the household and the wife should defer to her husband and honor him- much to her consternation whenever he disappointed her or disagreed with her, which was plenty.

We lived in the same three bedroom, two bath ranch on the same suburban street in the same suburban subdivision my entire life. Mom and Dad still live there. I believe Dad’s got his 30 year mortgage paid off as a matter of fact, which may be why Mom wants to get a condo in a small town on California’s central coast where she can paint all day with her friends.
They scrimped and saved and sacrificed to send us to Christian school from kindergarten through eighth grade. They took us to Sunday school and church every week and made sure we studied catechism and were confirmed. They had nightly devotions with us at the dinner table (not just during Advent and Lent, either) and prayed for us every night. I ask you, what could be more conservative?

In my mind, I adhered to an Arthurian mythos. I aspired to be God’s knight, abiding by the credos of “right makes might” and “by serving each other, we become free.” What could be more conservative?

For my part, I read, marked and inwardly digested as much of God’s word as I could, not to mention church doctrine and Reformation history. In high school, while it seemed like everyone else was studying Bud Light and wine coolers, I was exploring journalism and foreign policy. While other kids were listening to Megadeath and Metallica, I was absorbing Theloneous Monk and George Shearing. I shunned piercings and tattoos. Even with temperatures in the 100s most of the year, I believed it was unmanly to not wear socks and unclassy to wear an undershirt. I was square before Hewly Lewis sang that it was hip to be so. How conservative can you get?
I was about as rigid and repressed as a teenager can get. I can honestly say that I’ve never even tried pot once, even though it was offered to me. I dated some girls but held onto a chivalrous, romantic ideal so tightly that I could never settle for less than the deepest, truest love. Just as well, I spent three of high school’s four years in love with a girl I held on a pedestal. Even so, I valued a relationship with her more than any mere attraction to her, so we remained platonic. Best friends. I was her blood-brother, her confessor, counselor, protector and defender (at least in my mind). For me, women were to be respected, treasured, and treated as intelligent, capable, individuals- not as objectified body parts or recreational play things. Surely that’s conservative, right?

Just like I can genuinely boast that I’ve never tried drugs, I can honestly say that I’ve only had one sexual partner my entire life, which is my wife of 18 years. Again, I ask you, have you ever known ANYONE so conservative?

I contend that even my initial interest in politics was what I would consider conservative- fiscally conservative anyway. My perception of Reaganomics was that it was irresponsible. Skyrocketing deficits and mounting national debt were what incensed me. Boring, huh? Wonkish. My heroes were so called “Blue-Dog” democrats like Paul Tsongas of Massachusetts and Paul Simon of Illinois. I followed my Arizona Senators, Barry Goldwater and John McCain and appreciated that neither of them felt obliged to tow the party line on every issue. I’m telling you, I may have been a charter member of my high school’s Young Democrats club, but as Democrats go- conservative.

As I studied history, I observed that with the exception of Teddy Roosevelt, the Democratic party of the 20th century tended to be on the side of the working class, and more often than not, in my opinion, the side of right. Corrupt Republicans hamstrung or dismantled Roosevelt’s progressive reforms after he left office. Republicans pulled us out of the League of Nations, abdicating the world leadership we accumulated by winning WWI. Republicans favored the robber-barons and led us into the great Depression. Republicans brought us McCarthyism, the red scare and black lists. After LBJ signed the Civil Rights Act, racist Southern fundamentalist Democrats flocked to the Republican party and opposed civil rights, desegregation, economic justice and women’s rights under the mantra of states rights and libertarianism. Nixon, a Republican escalated our involvement in Vietnam- including with secret bombings and intrusions into Laos and Cambodia even though he had promised Vietnamization and peace with honor. And everyone knows now that Watergate was a matter of his stealing the presidential election and tried to cover it up. Reagan’s campaign secretly negotiated with Iranian revolutionaries to prevent them from releasing American hostages until after they were sure that Jimmy Carter lost the election and in spite of the fact that Reagan swore that America does not negotiate with terrorists, his administration sold Iran missiles (through Israel, of all brokers) and used the proceeds to fund the Contra Rebels in Nicaragua in direct violation of laws passed by Congress. Now, sure, these reasons are partisan, but surely my reasons for mistrusting the GOP are reasonable, if not reasonably “conservative.”

One summer, I applied to work at the phone banks for the state Democratic party. I supported the blue collar, Midwestern candidate, Dick Gebhart. I’m ashamed to say that one of the reasons I found a different job was that I just wasn’t comfortable with how many of the men who worked there shaved their legs and how few of the women who worked there didn’t. Than may make me bigoted, a hypocrite, or a homophobe- but I believe it also made be quite conservative.

I attended a Lutheran Church~Missouri Synod college, Concordia in small town in Nebraska. A small, church run teacher’s college with fewer than 2,000 students, established in the 1890s with a small professor to student ratio where I was discipled directly by old, white, male Ph.D.s and Th.D.s and Rev.s for five years. Again, I absorbed a culture of reserved, humility, piety and servanthood. My mentors ingrained in me a healthy skepticism of secular humanism and new age nonsense. I virtually minored in Religion, meaning I took the classes required for a Lutheran Teacher’s Diploma, qualifying me to become a Commissioned Minister of the Gospel, that is a Called teacher at a Lutheran school trusted to teach Religion or Bible classes. Well versed in denominational history, official church teachings and Synodical doctrinal positions. Again, I ask you, what could POSSIBLY be more “conservative?” For decades I struggled and wrestled in my soul about whether God was calling me to pastoral ministry. Decidedly, un "liberal."

So what makes me a liberal? Maybe it’s because I believe in Teddy Roosevelt’s promise to give EVERY American a “Square Deal.” Maybe because, (even though he was also an honorary Grand Wizard of the KKK) Wilson’s 14 points of open treaties openly arrived upon and self-determination for emerging nations was egalitarian and responsible. Maybe it’s because FDR’s New Deal ushered in the longest era of economic expansion and prosperity for the middle class in history. Maybe it’s because I think that great thinkers like Henry Wallace, Elenor Roosevelt, Adali Stevensen, and Eugene McCarthy were visionary in their perspectives on race, class, economy, and foreign policy. These aren’t radicals, these aren’t Marxists, these are people who loved America and believed in the dignity of every human being.

Maybe I’m a “liberal” because I buy into the optimism of potential and public service espoused by JFK. Maybe I’m a liberal because I admire the courage and sacrifice of men like Martin Luther King and John Lewis. Who risked life and livelihood to hold America accountable to her promises. Maybe it’s because even though an overdeveloped and misguided paranoia about Communism led him to mire us in a tragic mess in Vietnam, LBJ still brought us the Civil Rights Act and had hoped to battle a noble, if ill fated war on poverty. Maybe it’s because Robert Kennedy spoke of renewing our cities, our environment, and our faith in government as a tool for the common good. Maybe it’s because in spite of is short comings, I appreciated that Bill Clinton paid-as-he-went (fiscally conservative), that however short lived it was, he eliminated the deficit and was reducing the national debt. I find it amazing and ironic that the number of abortions was lower under Carter and Clinton than under Reagan or either Bush. And no president has ever demonstrated Christian service, or dedicated himself to the study and teaching of God’s Word than James Earl Carter. Conservative. Preserving democracy, protecting the little guy, protecting the Constitution and our precious traditions. Conservative.

And yes, call me hopeful or too easily inspired by soaring rhetoric- but I have to tell you, so far, I am enthusiastic about the bottom-up grass roots movement, the savvy use of the internet, the cabinet of rivals, the transparency, accountability, civility, attempts at consensus building, the consummate professionalism, tireless work ethic, and gritty pragmatism of Barrack Obama. All these attributes seem bone-deep conservative to me.

So I don’t like xenophobic demagogues bullying people on their AM talk radio shows and their “info-tainment” shows on Fox News. So I think that you don’t have to be straight, so long as you can shoot straight to enlist in the Army. So I think that the 14th Amendment entitles everyone to equal rights, even if they’re gay. So I believe in protecting women from back alley clinics and coat-hanger abortions enough to want abortion to be legal and safe, even though I find it heinous that so many people think if it so callously and nonchalantly as just another form of birth control. So I can’t get passed the part about a “well-regulated militia” whenever I read the 2nd Amendment. So I see the anti-establishment clause of the 1st Amendment’s wall to separate church and state ass something that protects and benefits Christianity, and government. So I actually support a progressive tax structure because I feel like with much privilege ought to come much responsibility AND because I believe that demand-side economics is far more sustainable than supply-side.

If these things make me “Liberal.” Than label me Liberal. If they make me “Progressive,” label me Progressive. If they make me “Socialist,” then I must be guilty as charged.

But please, don’t begin to think that I somehow don’t love my country, my community, my family, or my students. Please don’t fear for my salvation or question my relationship with or loyalty to Jesus, because I beg Him to renew my baptism and drown my sinful nature and make me His instrument every morning. Don't say that I'm not smart and for Heaven’s sake don’t assume that I’m a conformist or that I prefer not to think because I have followed the crowd and value few things as much as reading and learning.

I strive to help people see and come to a better understanding of both sides of every issue. That does not make me less moral or less aware, or for that matter, less conservative than anyone.
Please refrain from impugning my patriotism. If you detest and are repelled by the things I stand for or the way I vote, let’s either try to find what we do agree on or simply agree to disagree.

And if you don’t like what I write- don’t read it. If you’re offended or annoyed by what I post on the internet, don’t revisit my blog or why not write your own? You may even delete me as a friend or block me on facebook- I’ll never know. But please, please don’t pretend that because we disagree, that somehow means that I’m bad or less valuable or your enemy. And if you do, just remember, Christ told us to love our enemies.


St. Paul used his credibility as a hard core Jew to oppose those Jewish Christians who were telling people that they had to be circumcised to become a Christian. I think that what I've tried to lay out her is that if anyone deserves to be able to call themselves a conservative, it's me- yet I choose to be called a liberal democrat because I believe that with a few (in Republican opinions glaring) exceptions, I believe that most liberal political values are more in line with my Christian religious convictions.

I didn't even mention George W. Bush or Iraq or torture. I could probably write another whole page just on how radical, rather than conservative I believe "neo-conservatives" are. And you don't want to know how strict and conservative my parenting style is.