Friday, December 24, 2010

La Vida Loca

What a rocky road. School has been really busy, so I haven't had a chance to write anything here- but there's sure been plenty going on to write about.

  • After 2 or 3 games, my  two best veterans (each other's best friends) quit, no explanation, by text mind you, just before we were getting on the bus for our first away game.
  • The following Monday, I found out that one of them was in the hospital all weekend. She'd gone to the doctor on Friday, not feeling well and found out she had Type I Diabetes. Certainly not something that has to prevent you from cheering, but in spite of my pleads, they don't want to come back. Never did get en explanation why.
  • They say that everything happens for a reason though, and I've wound up having to do more actual direct, deliberate coaching that I have (at the HS level) for a few years. One of the remaining girls is very heavy-set and not the most socially adroit, but she seems to have been part of an incredible junior high program at her last school because she has a load of good skills and instincts. The one veteran left is a Junior Latina. She's always been one of the quietest girls I've ever known. She doesn't live in town and doesn't have her own car, so she hasn't been able to come to practices (since her ride is one of the two girls who quit). But in some ways this has been good for her because she'd been forced to step up into a leadership role at games. The other two, a Sophomore and another Freshman are INSANELY shy and quiet- no one would ever have thought they'd even go out for cheer. I spent one practice just working on getting these 3 to be LOUDER. Another practice we spent working on being more synchronized. I'm proud to report that not only have they not flopped, they keep getting better each game.
  • Meanwhile, one of the girls who cheered during football season announced she was pregnant. Sigh. I want to be supportive of her, but I have to admit to being disappointed. Teenagers aren't ready to become parents and therefore shouldn't be sexually active. That's it, bottom line, regardless of what you think about it on moral or religious grounds- not to mention emotional, psychological, or social maturation. I had a cheerleader pregnant last year too who at least seemed to be much more humble and somewhat private about it. This girl, is as excited as my kids before Christmas. It's like she's obsessed about it the way people get about a new pet, toy,car, computer, whatever. Whatchya gonna do? I'm trying very hard to be supportive and non-judgmental. Be that as it may, I think we have at least 3, maybe 4 or 5 pregnant students at our school this year, it's getting ridiculous. Someone needs to do something about this. I don't know if it's up to parents, the board, our guidance counselor, principal, teachers, or who.
  • Finally, my little Junior High squad has been chugging along. I have one 7th grader in particular who is a phenomenally hard worker. She has learned a ton, and taught her self more, and she's been more consistent with her grades and attendance than any other middle schooler. She's the only one who's cheered for both football and basketball this year. She never misses a game and will even cheer alone when no one else shows up. 
  • On the other hand, we had an 8th grader this year with lots of difficulties. Her IQ is only in the 50's, she's on medication for Schizophrenia, she has a pretty pronounces speech impediment, and has a lot of trouble with coordination and rhythm. I was proud of her and excited for her because she'd been having so much fun, feeling like she was part of something, and little-by-little, getting better at cheering. The Thursday before Varsity's first pep rally, Junior High had a game. I thought that the JrHi squad was doing well enough and were responsible enough that they could perform unsupervised. I was SO worried about making sure that my quiet/shy/insecure Varsity rookies were prepared for their pep rally that I told the MS squad that they were flying solo. The next morning, schizophrenic 8th grader came to me before school and told me that she couldn't finish out the season because she took a job as a babysitter. Later that morning, her Special Education teacher (also the MS girls' basketball coach) came to me and shared that the 8th grader had thrown a tantrum, cussing a blue streak before the game in the hall. She recommended that I suspend the girl from cheerleading- moot point since she'd already quit earlier that morning. Later that afternoon, another JrHi cheerleader reported to me that the 8th grader's older brother (her legal guardian) had attended the game and perhaps was embarrassed by either her performance or her inappropriate behavior because he made her go home with him before the game was finished and wanted her to quit cheerleading.
  • I am at the same time relieved to not be responsible for her, frustrated with her for her misbehavior (however unable to control it she may be), ashamed of myself for being relieved to not have her awkward physical and social challenges on stage as part of my program anymore and broken hearted for her that life and circumstances have handed her such a raw deal. I cared a great deal for her older sister, who had also been in junior high cheer. The sister would've graduated last year, but had transfered to another district after having had a falling out with their brother. Their mom had been a drug addict (which caused the 8th grader's physical and mental health problems). The older sister attended a school for at risk girls for at least one semester and is now a recovering addict herself. Not sure if she's gotten her GED or is still planning on college or not, but I at least know from facebook that she has serious boyfirend.
  • I know this was hard to follow since I didn't use any names. I don't want any of them or their parents/guardians to ever be offended by anything I write/reveal here about them. I want to protect their identities.  I hope I'm not making myself sound like any kind of big hero, I'm not. I just think it's amazing how fascinating some of these kids and their lives are. I've known dozens of kids with stories just as painful, difficult, heroic and sordid over the last 17 years of coaching. That doesn't make me all that fascinating or heroic, but you can see why I wanted to have a place to write about it. I believe that cheerleading can make a meaningful difference in these kids lives, I do hope that somehow God can use me to help them along the way, at least in some small ways. I'd like to think that just by being a stable, "traditional" adult in their lives, that makes some kind of difference. 
  • As you can see, truth really is stranger than any fiction I could try to come up with. What fiction offers is the ability to write about these crazy, amazing things without worrying about airing a real person's dirty laundry or appearing to cast any kind of judgement on them. But then again, I never have time to write about reality, let alone fictionalize it. You'll notice I'm writing this on Christmas Eve- on vacation from school!

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