Belligerent Alumna

I had a rough night tonight. This lady came up to me and started ragging on the squad to me, right in front of them (and the student section). I kinda felt like sharing with you cheer-alumn the note I just wrote to my squad about it.

Whew! That was a rough last few minutes to the game tonight.

No, I don't remember that ladie's name- only that she is a graduate of 1998 and was disappointed in our performance compared to cheer squads back when she was in school. I'm sorry that you had to endure that kind of negativity, especially on your special Homecoming night. I also apologize if, like Cammey, you felt like I didn't defend you adamantly enough. In 17 years of coaching I've never experienced anything quite like that, although coaches of other sports have to endure plenty of heckling and/or criticism all the time. 

I want you to know that I told her that I'm very proud of all of you, especially considering how only 2 of you have a lot of experience cheering in hs and how hard it's been to get together to practice. I also told her that I believe in positively encouraging you and that it wasn't right to berate you or ridicule you. 

Having said that, I'm the one who's ultimately responsible if we need to have more pride. Plenty of cheerleaders have com plained over the years that I'm not enough of a "hard-ass." I'm not the highly structured, strict, letter-of-the-law, organized, stickler for the rules. I'm not rigorous enough and my expectations aren't high enough.

My personality and therefore coaching style, as you've probably noticed, is to seek harmony and try to nurture and build people up. If anything I'm probably too patient and flexible. I believe that my main role as your coach is as a mentor. Unfortunately, this means that don't always push you hard enough.

But I respect that you're smart enough to recognize what needs to get done and motivated enough to want to do it. I've seen all of you do amazing things, work incredibly hard, and I know how brave each and every one of you is. It's not easy to get in front of your peers, let alone the entire crowd week after week.

That's why I want to remind you of something that I've written before. Please keep reading, no matter how boring it is to read me. And try to take this to heart-

“You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one.”~John Wooden

listen to the criticism or suggestion carefully, don't take it so personally that it ruins your life, but don't throw the baby out with the bathwater, consider if and how you can use it to improve- even if you don't have a lot of respect for the source or you know that they meant it to be mean. ANY criticism can become corrective-criticism if you take it to your brain and not your heart.

Being a cheerleader means being under a microscope, on display, on stage. It's not about you, it's about raising spirit and leading the crowd to make noise for the teams- but sometimes it feels like everybody's a critic. You're going to need to learn how to take it, but more importantly, 1. take it in stride, and 2. be willing to take it and do something with it if/when it can actually help.

Remember, have your ego let it go, but use your brain to pick through what you can use to improve.

When you're really feeling bruised and sensitive and the criticism is hard to take, remember Dr. Seuss's sage advice, "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."

So shake it off, but learn from it. We need to be louder and prouder.

We do need to average at least 8 cheers per quarter, so all of you (not just Cammey & Kaitlyn) just start up lots of cheers. You want to lead, not just follow. A thermometer responds to the climate, thermometers respond to the action of the game or the mood of the crowd. A thermostat affects the climate, keeps the energy up and the attitude positive even when we're losing. Thermostats keep cheering often, even when the crowd doesn't join in. 

You can do this- I've seen you do it. I know it isn't easy, but like I said- I not only know you can do it, I've watched you all do amazing things in and out of school.

Next week you cheer at my hometown. I know you'll make me proud. Because you already have.

People who rail on others in anger and indignation only think they know about pride, but really they're trying to make up for their own insecurities. All of you are better than that. That's why I know you'll get past tonight and stay positive.

Remember:

“You can't let praise or criticism get to you. It's a weakness to get caught up in either one.”~John Wooden (That's poise)

and "Those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind."~Dr. Seuss (That's team spirit)

Poor sportsmanship includes negative comments about the teams. This alumna also complained about there not being a band during the second half. What I've seen is 5 band directors in the last 10 years. Personally, I think that the new band director this year has done a remarkable job in just 6 weeks to make our band sound incredible. In the 10 years I've been here, the band has never stayed past half time.

We lost tonight by at least 2 touchdowns. I wondered why this lady didn't head on over to the sideline and lay into the football coaches for how the boys were playing.

But she's not the only one who's so negative. Rumor has it that some of the 2010 and 2009 graduates have complained that "8-man's not REAL football."

When my wife and I taught at Los Angeles Lutheran High, there were graduates from when LHS was in Burbank who didn't accept the campus in Sylmar and felt betrayed that the school had moved. Never mind the fact that the school couldn't afford the massive debts it incurred by staying in Burbank. No doubt there were some alumni who resented that it left Inglewood to move to Burbank.

Change is never easy. The school is different. Times are different. Kids are different. Parents and the community are different.

When I first moved back to Iowa, people in Charter Oak worried for me because I was going to work in Dunlap. It had a rough reputation for drugs and fighting. Come to find out it was plagued with problems that made it look like a soap opera from the administration, to teachers and coaches, on down to students.

The Boyer Valley I work at today is a very different place. It's a place where the administrators are working hard to improve learning and test scores, a place where teachers and coaches genuinely care about the well being of their students, a place where parents and the community are actively engaged and involved with the school.

Yeah, 20 years ago the cheer squads competed at the state championships, but between that coach and me there were something like 5 coaches in 4 years. No, I don't demand enough out of my cheerleaders, but I support them, listen to them, worry about them, and try to steer them in the right direction.

Things change. Things don't always live up to our ideals, but that's no reason to turn on your old school with reproach. Schools, like countries, states, or individuals for that matter, grow and evolve, make mistakes and have different strengths and weaknesses. We have to allow for that.

This Alumna needs to learn how to be true to her school instead of attacking it.

Too many sides to too many issues

Before President W. Bush I considered my self "post-partisan," a moderate, a "pro-life Democrat." I was disappointed in and felt betrayed by President Clinton's infidelity and dishonest. I always tried to see past party lines. I believe in hashing out issues and getting to hard compromises. I made every effort to try to help Republican friends see that Democrats and "Liberals" weren't all a bunch of pro-gay, pro-communist, evil, hedonistic atheists out to destroy our way of life. Now, I will freely admit that I am angry about the war, just as angry as many of my dearest friends and neighbors have been about abortion for years.

The thing is none of us (my self included) ought to be single-issue voters. The other thing is that there are scores of issues that are every bit as ugly, wrong, immoral and "un-Christian" that our society and both our parties need to wrestle with.

I hope that this column provokes readers to think and talk about some of them. One of the purposes of a newspaper (and of the internet, I guess) is to be a forum for the free expression and discussion of ideas. A couple people have emailed or signed my guestbook anonymously instead of writing letters to the editor for the NEWSpaper & LEADER to publish. Please write the paper, don't be afraid, your ideas are just as legitimate and certainly as passionately held as any of mine. I'm not always right and I hope I never intentionally put anyone else down.

Here is a note that some one left on my website's guestbook. I could write them back because they left a bogus email address.

"tina - Many Democratic officials warned of Saddam's weapon capabilities and stock piles of biological weaponery since 1998: Clinton, Albright, Pulousi, Gore, Kennedy, and more .... before Bush was even in the White House. If you are going to spout off as some sort of expert you should know your facts and not just talk out of frustration and anger. The last time I checked ... Congress basically handed the President a blank check in 2002 and backed him with full support. He did not do this alone. Your column is unclear as to intent other then another flaming liberal trying to burn everything around him. Beings as though you are a Lutheran I find this even more appalling. Do you really wish to support the killing of innocent unborn babies in the ballot box, because we have soldiers willing to fight to protect you and what you have to say? I would certainly hope the cost of fuel would not cause you to jump that direction. There are many issues to consider, and your angry column was irresponsible to your neighbors."

I know that the administration didn't go in without support. Heck, I was won over for a while. That only makes it worse. Because many of us (Republicans included) feel duped and used and yes, guilty. Tina is absolutely right, I shouldn't just write out of anger- that part did make me "flaming," although (except for the blank check that Congress gave Bush) I try really hard to include as many facts as I can any time I write about politics. I do not support the killing of innocent unborn babies, but I also don't support killing innocent live babies, youth, adults or elderly. I don't support cutting programs for the poor while maintaining and even increasing tax cuts for the super rich and for corporations. I wish I'd never supported a unilateral, pre-emptive, unprovoked invasion of a tiny, weak nation that had nothing to do with the terroist attack on us. I don't attack rape, torture, and denying basic human rights to anyone, even to terrorists.

Please forgive me whenever any of you feel that any of my columns are irresponsible. I want to be a good neighbor. But please, can I just tell you that I feel like your questioning my faith or impugning how "Chirstian" I am if you assume that I am totally pro-choice or somehow must want to see babies die because I vote for Democrats or criticize Republicans. Sin is sin and wrong is wrong, unfortunately there is no escaping it in this world, especially in politics.

In Boy Scouts I was taught, "God, Country, and Family- in that order." I believe that God created us with a nature that asks questions. I believe that our founding fathers designed our system of government so that we are not only allowed to scrutinize it and express our displeasure with it, but that it is our duty to do so. And I believe in supporting families, even the unborn members of those families, but I have not seen the current administration neglect support for middle class and poor families while flaunting faith and values for political expedience. If I were a Republican or a Fundamentalist Evangelical I would feel abused.

I'd like to leave you with some quotes from Republican leaders. Three of the four are some of my favorite politicians, no sarcasm intended, they really are (sorry to disappoint any of my fellow Democrats). My point in sharing them is that the bush administration may have won your votes by being "pro-life," but I contend that they've pursued policies that are cruel and abusive of life.

All of us, Democrat and Republican, Green Party and Libertarian, Lutheran, Fundamentalist Evangelical, Catholic, Methodist, whoever All of us need to stop accusing each other of being less-Christian, less-moral, less-right. We need to see past our differences so that we can be alert to how un-Christian, immoral, and wrong we can sometimes be.

"If we are viewed as a country that engages in torture ... any possible information we might be able to gain is far counterbalanced by (the negative) effect of public opinion... This battle we're in is about the things we stand for and believe in and practice. And that is an observance of human rights, no matter how terrible our adversaries may be." -- Senator John McCain (R-AZ)

"I think the administration is making a terrible mistake in opposing John McCain's amendment on detainees and torture." --Senator Chuck Hagel (R-NE)

"I'm a strong supporter of Senator McCain's amendment. I don't think the White House should veto it." -- Former Secretary of State Colin Powell

"The United States can win the war on terrorism without sacrificing our values." --Senator Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.)

PS- Torture is NOT "Pro-Life"

Letter from a reader

Ted, what are you doing to our nice little hometown newspaper? Do we have to constantly read about how unhappy you are with our Country, our President, and our Beloved God? Please stop insulting the intelligence of your readers by ranting and raving about our great country and our great leaders and our great military! And for you to use passages from the Bible in one paragraph, only to follow through with your hatred towards our Country! I will pray for you. It sounds like you are a very unhappy American! Also, you need to get your facts straight. The history lessons and political rhetoric you constantly bestow upon your readers is such an insult to us! Remember how you believed every word Dan Rather reported? Didn't you learn your lesson then? Enough is enough of these political columns of yours? Can't you find something nice to right about?

Thanks for hearing me out, I just hate to see our sweet little newspaper being dragged down the political road by untruths. From a "Tired Housewife in Ute who is married to a Vietnam Veteran and very very proud of it!"

~Jean Nepper

- Not sure if I want to either reply to her or forward this to the NEWSpaper so that they can run it? Obviously we dissagree about the war and the Bush administration. I am an unhappy American I love my country and fear for it. That's why I write what I write. It's as simple as that.

"I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just." ~Thomas Jefferson

I learned my lesson when I wrote about what Dan Rather was reporting about Bush's service record. I wrote a retraction in a later column. But has anybody learned their lessons about Bush/Cheny/Rove/Libby? Come on- which is more un-American? Complaining about the current administration, or not wanting people to be able to complain about it?