Email volley with a former student

First, for those of you that read last week’s column, where I left the keys to the van in my classroom, I had to share this with you. Eventually one of the cheerleaders got fed up and went into my room to help look for the keys.

She returned to the van, keys in hand, which she had found underneath someone’s pom-pon.

“Typical man,” she said, “men don’t know how to look for things!”

Now this week, I thought I’d share a conversation I recently had with a former student of mine from L.A. Chris Freet now works in the PR dept at the University of Oklahoma Athletic Dept. These were two emails, not an instant messenger chat- I hate those things, but I present it to you here in transcript form just because I thought it would be easier to follow.

Chris: I am enjoying the regular conversation.

Ted: Me too, I’m sorry it’s taken more than a week to get back to you. Monster case of bronchitis took me out one day and the rest of the week has been a bear.

Chris: I will prompt with two questions for the next one. Is Bush going to be reelected?

Ted:There’s nothing money can’t buy. Let’s see, the Republicans hated Clinton so much that after 6 or 7 years of not proving any Whitewater wrongdoing, they tried to impeach him for philandering. Then, when they lost the popular election in 2000, they had the predominantly Republican Supreme Court decide. What do you think?

Okay, I’ll get off of the “vast conservative conspiracy” trip for a minute. Seriously, I think it will be tight, just like last time, but I do think he’s vulnerable. You’re dissatisfaction is evidence. You and I are the biggest swing vote. White, male, working-class, rural or Southern. They call our demographic “the NASCAR vote.” But, unless Jesse” the Body” Venture throws his hat into the ring it comes down to five of the “ten little Indians.”

General Wes Clark, Southern (but not too Southern), a decorated vet, offers the most macho alternative. Good choice for Sec. of State or Defense if he doesn’t go all the way and Bush loses.

FLA Sen. Grahm, from right down in Bush Bro country, has gone so far as to sponsor a NASCAR pickup truck. How’s that for appealing to those with red necks, white socks, and blue collar jobs? But, most Americans hate Florida almost as much as we hate California and New York, don’t we?

NC Sen. John Edwards, young, dashing, espousing idealistic but impractical rhetoric about NAFTA and manufacturing jobs. Look for him to run again and again and again if Bush gets re-elected. Hey did I tell you I actually met him last week? I’ll have to send you a copy of the column I wrote about it.

MO Rep. Dick Gebhardt, tearing a page out of the Gore playbook is putting on the “pissed off middle class white guy” routine. He’s the most traditional center-left, healthcare and insurance for everybody Democrat. I predict a strong third for the nomination, look for a cabinet job if a Dem gets in.

And of course, Vermont Gov. Dr. Howard Dean, MD. Still the Democratic front runner. Savy, speaks his mind, not the party line, great money maker. He even looks a little like John McCain. He can take Bush, he’s a helluva lot smarter, but doesn’t come off as a boring egg head like Gore and Bill Bradley did. However, folks like your sister and brother-in-law and parents won’t like his positions on homosexuals and abortion. Other weaknesses include his wife. She’s no beauty pageant winner but more importantly, she’s a doctor too and plans to keep her practice if Dean’s elected. Too real, too strong, to independent for stay-at-home-barefoot-and-pregnant hyper conservatives.

Besides, Liberal former governor of a small New England state with a doctor wife- sounds an awful lot like NBC’s the West Wing. But ever since I saw him as JFK in “Missiles of October” in Government class in high school, I thought Martin Sheen would make a great President. Will life imitate art?

Chris: And Should Eric Gagne win the Cy Young?

Ted: He hasn’t done too well against Arizona this year, but anyone with a 1.27 ERA deserves a look. Obviously the Diamondback Dou (Schilling & Johnson) isn’t in the running this year. But Kevin Brown was always my (least) favorite Dodger. Which do you think I follow more closely, politics or baseball?