A new way of looking at New Year’s resolutions

According to www.mygoals.com, who call themselves the “premiere website for setting and reaching personal and professional goals,” these are the top New Year’s resolutions for 2005.

1) Lose weight and get in shape Made by 26% of people who make New Year’s resolutions.

2) Get a better job 13%

3) Be more organized, use time more efficiently 13%

4) Spend time for personal growth/self improvement 12%

5) Get out of debt and/or save more money 12%

6) Improve relationships with family 8%

7) Go back to school 8%

8) Fix up the house 4%

9) Spend more time having fun 3%

So how many of these are resolutions you’re planning on making? How many are resolutions you made last year? How’d ya do at keeping them? Yeah, me too. Let’s see…

1) I wish-I’ve tried that one too many years and keep failing

2) need to get a second job, not necessarily a better one- how about just winning the lottery without playing?

3) For an adult with A.D.D. I’m coping pretty well- although my wife may not think so

4) I’ve read “7 Habits” and “Power of Positive Thinking,” how much more can I improve, I mean really, ain’t I pretty damn near perfect already?

5) need to get a second job, not necessarily a better one- how about just winning the lottery without playing?- or did I say that already?

6) how much more can I improve, I mean really, ain’t I pretty damn near perfect already? - or did I say THAT already?

7) I’d love to get a Master’s someday, but I even if I ever could make up my mind as to what I want to get it in, numbers 3, 5, and 6 all get in the way, don’t they?

8) Okay, you can all stop laughing now, especially my father-in-law, uncle-in-law, brother-in-law, and wife.

9) See, that’s where I’m good- because my idea of fun is different than most people. Maybe I’m boring by most people’s standards. Most people would love to bar-hopping or dancing or hang gliding or gambling or extreme water sports-ing or something. But I enjoy teaching and coaching (most of the time) and this-writing- is fun for me.

This year is going to be different. Here are my resolutions for this year:

1) Quit smoking

2) Quit drinking more than a couple beers a week

3) No more sushi

4) Quit picking fights with thick-necked guys named “Gunter”

5) Quit chewing tobacco

6) Quit betting on NFL, NBA, NASCAR, horses, etc.

7) Cancel my subscriptions to Hustler, Penthouse, Playboy etc.

8) No more unilateral pre-emptive invasions of third world countries or violations of the Geneva Conventions through torture and abuse

9) Lose weight and get in shape

10) Write shorter columns

Not bad, eh? See I figure you have to set your goals in such a way that you insure at least a modicum of success. If I choose resolutions that I’m ALREADY keeping, than when 2006 comes around, I’ll be at least an 80% success and only a 20 % failure. That way, I build up my self-esteem and maybe then I’ll have enough confidence to take on those last two in 2007. Never put off today what you can put off tomorrow, I always say.