Tips for better writing

by Ted Mallory
Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper Thurs. Sept. 30, 2004

Let’s face it, one of the things we’d all like to see in the media is a little more self-criticism. People just don’t trust the press anymore and with good reason. On the Republican bad list, no doubt is Dan Rather at for the flap about memos alleging that President Bush was A.W.O.L. when he should’ve been reporting to National Guard duty.

Democrats still want to know why CNN commentator Robert Novak released the name of a CIA operative who’s the wife of former acting U.S. ambassador to Iraq, Joseph Wilson. We’d also like to know what White House official illegally leaked her name to him.

Journalists make mistakes. Sometimes they’re perfectly honest mistakes, but obviously they’re sometimes mistakes that are made “accidentally-on-purpose.” It would help the media’s credibility a lot if they would do some self-examination and self-policing. People would trust them a lot more if they’d admit when they were wrong and try to make amends for their mistakes.

I’d like to volunteer to set an example. Not that Dan Rather or Robert Novak read my column, but I figure I at least owe it to you my readers. Here are some textbook tips for writing Editorials and Opinion pieces and my personal appraisal of how well or poor I’m doing at following them:

Be Brief & Concise- I’m working on it. The Des Moines Register suggests that letters to the Editor be no more than 600 words. Too often I go almost double that. You don’t have to write much more than 50 words if you can get your point across.

Come to the Point Quickly- I spend way to much time prefacing whatever I want to say. For example, last week, before I got into criticizing Governor Vilsack’s education policies, I spent a couple paragraphs apologizing for Bush bashing so much the week before.

Be Sincere- You have to give me this one. You may disagree with me on lots of things I write about, but at least I know what I believe and I’m not afraid to say so.

Don’t take yourself too seriously- I hope that I’ve been humble and self-effacing enough that you know I’m sincere and try to be honest.

Don’t preach- persuade- This has to be the biggest problem I’ve had and I want to take an opportunity to apologize if you feel like I’ve ever done this. Preaching is when you talk down to people as if you know better than they do. Persuading is when you set the facts before someone, tell them why you feel a certain way and encourage them to agree with you. If I had been smart, I would have been trying to persuade you not to vote to re-elect Bush (a $7 Trillion debt and a $445 billion deficit are two good reasons) . Instead, I let my frustration and irritation get the best of me and just used this column to vent and rant. Please forgive me.

Avoid all gossip or hearsay- Here is the biggest mistake I made in my column two weeks ago about President Bush’s history of cocaine use and National Guard duty. Second hand information. Of course, the person who determined that Dan Rather’s memos were forgeries wasn’t an expert in typography, he’s a Republican activist who runs a conservative website. And both Bush’s C.O. and his secretary both have said that basically the content of the allegedly forged memos was pretty much true anyway. Be that as it may, I didn’t call the Texas, Alabama and Florida National Guards, I went by what Dan Rather did and look what it got me? Egg on my face.

Admit errors- don’t be afraid to change positions- I still don’t trust the President any more than Rush Limbaugh trusts Dan Rather, but I was a hypocrite. I’ve preached against mud slinging and character assassination- “the politics of destruction,” but I stooped to making accusations about a candidate’s face, instead of sticking to current, relative issues. That was wrong, I admit it. I was so angry about how Bush supporters tried to smear Kerry’s record, that I jumped on the band-wagon with everyone who wanted to return fire.

Of course, while I’m sincere enough to admit it was cheap, I’d be an even bigger hypocrite and a real liar if I promised it will never happen again.

A little humor never hurt anyone- I know I’m no Mark Twain, heck I’m no Dave Berry, but I know that a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down. Some people would rather I not even write about politics. For some, that may be because politics can be boring, so I try to slip a little wit in here when I can.

Sometimes it’s hard to top reality, though. Sen. John McCain recently took some time off of campaigning for Bush to criticize the way he’s handled the reconstruction effort in Iraq, I at least find that mildly amusing. Then Pat “Mr. Conservative” Buchanan criticized Bush for even invading Iraq, and the aftermath, and his run-away deficits. Buchanan thinks that there’s nothing “conservative” about the Bush administration. Soon after McCain criticized the Bush campaign for not criticizing Buchanan for criticizing Bush. Did you follow that? It makes my head spin.

Some people are sick of the election and mud slinging and character assassination. We have to put up with enough of it on TV and there’s a whole ‘nother six weeks of it to go (unless, God forbid, it’s as tight as it was last time and goes to the courts again). If you’re one of those folks, I sincerely apologize. My hope is to write something that will entice people to read the NEWSpaper and make it unique among small town newspapers. The last thing I’d want to do is to make it just like everything you have to put up with in the mainstream media or to write anything that you won’t want to read. I’ll try to write less about politics and be funnier, but I’m not going to PROMISE, I’m too likely to break that promise.

See the thing is, it’s hard to think of something to write about every week that’s funny and not political. I may have to resort to writing about writing, say for instance if I spent a whole column writing about Journalism textbook tips for writing Editorial and Opinion columns. That could become a real drag. Know what I mean?

So much for being brief and concise. Dang, I’ve got to work on that.

FLY GUY

FLY GUY
This is a fun little game, you get to fly around like a super-hero. Have fun! :)

The Lone Star ICONOCLAST - Editorial, Opinion of the Publishers

The Lone Star ICONOCLAST - Editorial, Opinion of the Publishers

If you can believe this, George Bush's home town newspaper has just endorsed John Kerry! Is it a little fishy that the folks who'd know him best, are supporting him least? Could we learn something from them?

Current Electoral Vote Predictor 2004

Current Electoral Vote Predictor 2004

This is really cool!

The 9/11 email Hoax

BEWARE of The 9/11 email Hoax!
There is an email hoax going around that claims that Chapter 9, Verse 11 of the Koran says something like this:

"For it is written that a son of Arabia would awaken a fearsome Eagle. The wrath of the Eagle would be felt throughout the lands of Allah and lo, while some of the people trembled in despair still more rejoiced; for the wrath of the Eagle cleansed the lands of Allah; and there was peace."

It's supposed to get Americans to support the War in Iraq because it coincidently is the "9/11" verse. Well it is NOT true!

Here's what I got at U.S.C.'s online translation of the Koran at
http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/quran/qmtintro.html

009.011
"YUSUFALI: But (even so), if they repent, establish regular prayers, and practise regular charity,- they are your brethren in Faith: (thus) do We explain the Signs in detail, for those who understand.
PICKTHAL: But if they repent and establish worship and pay the poor-due, then are they your brethren in religion. We detail Our revelations for a people who have knowledge.
SHAKIR: But if they repent and keep up prayer and pay the poor-rate, they are your brethren in faith; and We make the communications clear for a people who know.

Please be careful with internet forwards. They may often be fabricated by people who're seeking to advance political agendas.

If there is a problem for believing Christians with this it may be the false doctrine of "Dispensationalism," that is the belief that Jesus' work was somehow incomplete on the cross and that God will make a special allowance for Israel to accept Jesus. Other people seem to think that Jesus' second coming won't happen until Solomon's Temple is rebuilt where there is currently a mosuque- as if the Temple is some kind of stargate through which Jesus will arrive.

Neither of these ideas is found in Scripture, in fact, Jesus makes two things clear. One is that our relationship with God is no longer tied to physical, geographical, or political places. The other one is that there is nothing we can do to precipitate, or speed-up Jesus' coming.

John 4: 19 "Sir," the woman said, "I can see that you are a prophet. 20 Our fathers worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem."
21 Jesus declared, "Believe me, woman, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22 You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24 God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in spirit and in truth."

Matt 24:36"No one knows about that day or hour, not even the angels in heaven, nor the Son,but only the Father....44 So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him."

For any politician or party to think that they are a catylist for the end times is either presumptuous or delusional. The greatest fault of Islam is it's unacceptance of Jesus as the Messiah, other than that it is not in itself a violent or malevelant religion. Muslim extremist terrorists are to Islam what the Christian Identity and other white-supremist groups are to Christianity, fanatical cults, not true believers. Please be careful about email hoaxes that perpetuate negative stereotypes.

Sorry to be so "preachy," I'll get off my soapbox now.

"Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God." ~Matthew 5:9

"Pray for the peace of Jerusalem: 'May those who love you be secure. May there be peace within your walls and security within your citadels.'" ~Psalm 122:6-7

The Gospel

"The Gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable."
~Garrison Keillor"

Someone needs to educate our Governor about small schools

Ted's Column Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper Thurs. Sept. 23, 2004
Link to a quickoverview.com of tom-visack

I apologize if many of you were offended by last weeks column. Like I said last week, you’re more than welcome to disagree with me. Believe it or not, I think President is a good man and I appreciate, even agree with many of his espoused values. Let me make up for last week, I mean it. I want you to know that I’m an equal-opportunity offender. This week I my rant is against our Democratic Governor.

I think that Tom Vilsack is off his gord. I’m so irritated with him for something he told a group of Iowa school superintendents last Monday that he may have lost my vote if he runs for re-election. No, believe it or not, I’m not just a party wonk. I occasionally break ranks and vote Republican.

Let me tell you why I’m so irked by Governor Tom. He wants to save the state $10 million dollars per year. “How can you be angry about that, Ted?” I hear you saying “Just last week you were complaining about skyrocketing deficits, I thought you might be a at least a FISCAL conservative?”

I’m angry, because he wants to save that money by consolidating small high schools, making them share principals and superintendents, even developing regional or high schools, as in one per county. Vilsack proposed an incentive plan to merge small high schools back in 2003, fortunately the legislature didn’t pick up his cause… yet

One small school superintendent told the Des Moines Register that at least one thing the Governor obviously overlooked is that consolidation would not be cost effective because of how much transportation costs go up.

"I can see where…sharing of administrators might be able to save both districts some money, but it would be at the cost of a quality education," said the superintendent. That’s because class sizes would be much larger.

If Iowa has been known for it’s excellent education, much of that reputation is because of it’s smaller schools, a legacy that began with one-room school houses.

Smaller schools like Charter Oak-Ute offer an optimum teacher to student ratio of one teacher with 13 to 17 students, or even better. Larger schools, like Denison are lucky to maintain "regular" class sizes consisting of one teacher with 22 to 26 kids. Schools in L.A. have as many as 45 kids in a class.

There is tons of research that indicates that smaller class sizes produce better results in reading and math skills. Small schools are amazing. Students achievement more, the gap between poor and affluent students is narrowed. Students are known as real people by their teachers. There is less absenteeism, maybe because people know you and notice when you’re missing. Did you know, even the cost per graduate is lower in small schools compared to large high schools?

Teachers will smaller classes are able to concentrate on teaching better because they spend less time in behavior problems and disruptions. They can deal with problems quicker than teachers with large classes, before they became serious. A school with fewer discipline problems makes it easier for younger students to adjust and older kids form a stronger social bond.

Students in small classes through most of their school years are less likely to be held back. Every kid in a small school is known by more than just one adult, and those relationships are sustained over several years.

Of course, the community itself, as well as parents and alumni are critical allies. Small schools tend to do a better job of finding ways to include them in the life of the school.
Vilsack claims that if Schools with less than 200 students merged, the new, bigger districts would be able to pay teachers more, and offer more advanced math and science classes. Of course, hundreds of us would lose our jobs, so what good is it of other teacher got paid more?

And we don’t need to consolidate to offer more classes. Boyer Valley has joined forces with Woodbine, Logan and West Harrison to offer Advanced Placement and college classes not only in math and science, but in English and History as well. Pooling resources does not have to mean consolidating.

Almost 40 % of Iowa high schools have fewer than 200 students. Does Visack really want to eliminate that many schools and lower the caliber of those remaining by straining their resources with huge class sizes? Especially so soon after introducing the Iowa Quarter that celebrates our great tradition of quality learning through small town schools?

I know that our schools aren’t perfect. I’m also realistic enough to know that our population is decreasing, therefore, so are our tax revenues. I’m just saying that consolidation should be the last resort. We can survive, we just have to think outside the box. Like Boyer Valley and those three other area schools banning together to offer more.

We should also be willing to think ahead. I for one would much rather see COU go in with Maple Valley or Boyer Valley or Schleswig, rather than get sucked up into Denison. The worst thing we could do is to sit and do nothing or fight amongst ourselves until it’s too late and we have no input anymore, like what seemed to happen to East Monona.

But I think that Charter Oak-Ute should have greater vision than that. Maybe we need an endowment fund like colleges, or maybe if worse came to worse, we should consider becoming a “charter school” or a parochial school.
No doubt, COU needs to be aggressive about finding grants. I want to suggest a couple of websites for school board members and administrators to check out:

www.smallschoolsproject.org and www.gatesfoundation.org/Education

This fall, the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation opened 250 new or redesigned schools, mostly in New York, but also in 29 states nationwide. They realize that the best schools have less than 400 and even fewer than 200 students. They know that the best schools are locally controlled. Even if it shares an administrator, or sports or co-curricular activities with other schools they retain authority to make important decisions.

We’re all vulnerable to Vilsack’s consolidation plan. Dunlap, Woodbine, and Mapleton need to be creative too. Maybe Des Moines has it backwards. They seem to think that if we attract businesses with tax breaks then population will grow and education will eventually benefit. I say focus on our strengths. Focus on small-school education, and business will come seeking employees.

If you have a goose that lays golden eggs, you wouldn’t starve it to death to save money would you? That’s what Vilsack wants to do. Iowa’s small schools have been one of Iowa’s strengths. You don’t cut your arms off to make your legs stronger. We shouldn’t let them eliminate our small schools in an il-conceived scheme to help our large schools.

"The Hollow Men" by T. S. Eliot

The Hollow Men
T. S. Eliot

We are the hollow men
We are the stuffed men
Leaning together
Headpiece filled with straw. Alas!
Our dried voices, when
We whisper together
Are quiet and meaningless
As wind in dry grass
Or rat's feet over broken glass
In our dry cellar.

Shape without form, shade without color,
Paralyzed force, gesture without motion;

Those who have crossed
With direct eyes, to death's other Kingdom
Remember us - if at all - not as lost
Violent souls, but only
As the hollow men
The stuffed men.

Eyes I dare not meet in dreams
In death's dream kingdom
These do not appear:
There, the eyes are
Sunlight on a broken column
There, is a tree swinging
And voices are
In the wind's singing
More distant and more solemn
Than a fading star.

Let me be no nearer
In death's dream kingdom
Let me also wear
Such deliberate disguises
Rat's coat, crowskin, crossed staves
In a field
Behaving as the wind behaves
No nearer.

Not that final meeting
In the twilight kingdom.

This is the dead land
This is the cactus land
Here the stone images
Are raised, here they receive
The supplication of a dead man's hand
Under the twinkle of a fading star.

Is it like this
In death's other kingdom
Waking alone
At the hour when we are
Trembling with tenderness
Lips that would kiss
Form prayers to broken stone.

The eyes are not here
There are no eyes here
In this valley of dying stars
In this hollow valley
This broken jaw of our lost kingdom.
In the last of meeting places
We grope together
And avoid speech
Gathered on this beach of the tumid river

Sightless, unless
The eyes reappear
As the perpetual star
Multifoliate rose
Of death's twilight kingdom
The hope only
Of empty men.

Here we go round the prickly pear
Prickly pear prickly pear
Here we go round the prickly pear
At five o'clock in the morning.

Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow

For thine is the Kingdom

Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow

Life is very long

Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Shadow

For Thine is the Kingdom

For Thine is
Life is
For Thine is the

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but with a whimper.

Ted's Column

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Our Youth Group made the cover of Lutheran Witness!
That's me just above the 'B,' looking tired. Lee's hand is in front of Bethany's face. Our cousin Lacy (our LYF President) is just to the right of the 'N.'

White lines and white lies

I tried to lay off politics as long as I could, but as Popeye would say, “I tooks all I kin takes, an’ I can’t takes no more!” You’re more than welcome to disagree with me- in fact I encourage you to submit your opinions to the NEWSpaper, that’s what democracy is all about, Charlie Brown! What follows are not necessarily the opinions of the NEWSpaper’s publishers or their staff, or of my own wife and family for that matter.

London's Daily Mirror reported last week that writer Kitty Kelley claims that President Bush began using cocaine at Yale in her book The Family: The Real Story of the Bush Dynasty. Former sister-in-law Sharon Bush is quoted in Kelley’s book as saying that "Bush did coke at Camp David when his father was President, and not just once either."

Other Bush acquaintances say in her book that he "liked to sneak out back for a joint or into the bathroom for a line of cocaine" while he was a member of the National Guard. How ironic that former President Bill Clinton was scrutinized so severely by Bush’s father’s campaign in 1992 for having admitted to having tried marijuana once in college and for protesting against the Vietnam War.

The White House maintains that W. Bush has not used illegal drugs for 25 years. That would be 1979, but if Kelley’s revelations are true, Bush Sr. was in office from 1988-92, just ten years ago. After weeks of pro-Bush ads accusing Sen. John Kerry of embellishing his combat record in Vietnam, one of the most respected news institutions reported that the Bushes pulled strings so that George W. wouldn’t have to serve in Vietnam.

Former Texas House Speaker and Lt. Gov. Ben Barnes told “60 Minutes” that he helped keep Bush from getting drafted when Bush had just graduated from college. Barnes revealed that he had a meeting with the late oilman Sid Adger, a friend to both Barnes and then-Congressman George Bush.

"It's been a long time ago, but he said basically would I help young George Bush get in the Air National Guard," said Barnes.

Bush abruptly stopped flying and moved from Texas to Alabama to work on a political campaign. Bush's squadron commander, Lt. Col. Jerry B. Killian, ordered Bush "to be suspended from flight status for failure to perform" to U.S. Air Force and National Guard standards and failure to take his annual physical "as ordered." According to a Guard memo.

National Guard documents already released by the White House and the Pentagon show that Bush was suspended from flight status for "failure to accomplish annual medical examination.” Do you think that perhaps he wanted to avoid a physical because his drug problem would be discovered?

In a 1973 memo, Killian complained that he was under pressure from his boss, Col. Walter B. "Buck" Staudt, to "sugar coat" Bush's officer evaluations.

Bush has admitted to having had an alcohol problem when he was young. I have no qualms about a recovering addict being in the White House, but it’s a pretty high pressure job. It’s got to be hard to stay sober. It’s also a pretty high powered job witch can easily be abused for personal gratification- as we saw so unfortunately with President Clinton’s indulgence.

Surely transparency and complete disclosure would relieve some of that pressure as well as provide accountability and even moral support for a statesman in recover. Fallible, vulnerable, human leaders can still lead, hypocrites forfeit their authority once they’re found out.

Sociologists think that just like the Civil War did, the specter and divisiveness of Vietnam may plague America until every last member of the generation who fought in it or against it has passed away.

As a member of the generation that followed, I don’t know if my perspective would be regarded as objective, or as uninformed, but I’ll tell you anyway. McCain served, admirable. Kerry served, then opposed, admirable. Clinton didn’t serve, opposed, perhaps unadmirable or perhaps admirable depending, I suppose on your opinion of Johnson and Nixon’s policies.

Bush used privilege to avoid service, misrepresented Iraq as being part of the wider ‘War on Terror,’ and continues to do so. Is that admirable?

Before the Presidential Primaries, I’d talked to dozens of Republicans who were dismayed by the war in Iraq. But now more than ever this administration is trying to associate Saddam Hussein and Iraq with September 11 and al Qaeda. Now, I know that Iraq is not the only issue. I know that Vietnam and both candidate’s military service was over three decades ago. And I know that what mistakes a person made in their youth are just that, mistakes of youth. So, okay, all that aside, do you really feel safer than you did four years ago? Are you better off than you were four years ago? If the Economy is really coming around, why do so many people keep losing their jobs?

Did you know that the National Debt is over $7,000,000,000,000? Last year Government spent $318 billion of our money on interest payments for the National Debt alone- just interest payments! The Deficit this year (which contributes to the debt) is estimated at an all time high of $445 billion. This is the third straight year of deficits, after four years under Clinton of surpluses. How much of that 445 billion went to the tax cut for the richest 2% of Americans? Kiss Social Security, Medicare, any reasonable and helpful government programs good bye.

put your mouse cursor on this guys nose and leave it there

Boyer Valley Cheerleading - (Dunlap, IA) - powered by LeagueLineup.com
Here's one of my cheerleaders, she was ALMOST Miss Teen Iowa Queen

Boyer Valley Cheerleading - (Dunlap, IA) - powered by LeagueLineup.com
Updated and just plain awesome, check this site out and be sure to sign the guestbook.

By the way, congrats COU Bobcats on your 56-0 win over Exira!

Star Wars Character personality test

Okay, this is especially for those of us who were born in 19-Seventy-something

THE STOLEN ELECTION OF 1876 - Suite101.com

Will Florida do in 2004 what they did in 2000? Give the Electoral vote to the candidate who lost the popular vote? Did you know that they did it back in 1876 too?

The wrong man for the job

Recently it was decided that one of the Vice Presidential candidates of a major party was too much of a liability for his running mate. So that party, decided to choose another ‘Veep’ to replace him.

It was agreed that in order to appeal to traditional values, he should be someone who could feel comfortable speaking about his faith. At the same time, in an effort to make the party more diverse, he would be the nations first Jewish Vice President. In fact, he is even believed to be a Rabbi.

A press conference was held in a major U.S. city so that the media could get to know the candidate.

“Mister Krist, many people have criticized the President, saying that his tax cuts benefited the rich, meanwhile others accuse his opponent of engaging in ‘class warfare,’ how do you feel about this?”

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

“Candidate Krist, Some people have accused the Republicans of exploiting the 9-11 tragedy for political gain, but at the same time anti war protestors used caskets as props in some of their protests during last week’s convention, provoking the same kind of criticisms. What do you have to say to the families of either 9-11 victims or of the families of fallen soldiers in Iraq?”

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

“Both candidates have been accused of being out-of touch with the people. Some call Bush ‘smug’ and others call Kerry ‘aloof.’ Do you think candidates should be more humble or down-to earth?

Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.

“Recent polls suggest that Americans distrust politicians. They suspect their leaders of using religious issues for political gain. And they’ve grown to expect that politicians of both parties believe that ‘the ends justifies the means.’ How do feel about that?”

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled.

“Mr. Krist, Many people are concerned about the level of rancor in this year’s campaign. The American people have never been so polarized. Negative campaigning and mud slinging are stooping to all time lows, even candidate’s service records are being scrutinized. Some former leaders have said that America won’t be able to move forward until we start talking about what ideas are right or wrong and stop talking about who’s good and bad. If you are personally attacked by your opponents, how will you respond?”

You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

“But wouldn’t that be seen as weak? Don’t you need to project the impression of strength? Especially during a time of war and in an era of terror?”

You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?

“One more question, Mr. Kist, isn’t it?”

Christ, actually.

“Christ, right. Someone told us your middle initial is ‘H,’ what’s the ‘H’ stand for?”

Suddenly the conference was interrupted, the candidate was spirited away and party officials came to the podium.

“We regret to announce that upon further reflection, not all of Mr. Christ’s positions are in harmony with those of our party, our platform, or our nominee. We will be reverting to our previous ticket, but we want to assure the public that our candidate still retains the endorsement of Rabbi Krist’s father, and if anyone says he doesn’t, your not a true patriot.”

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I'm really proud, what do you think?