Turkey & Football

The family clamored around the table. The aroma of a home cooked meal filled the air, as did the feeling of anticipation- after all, the meal had been in preparation all morning and some items even the night before.

But first, the lady of the house had to welcome their guests who were waiting at the door.

“Greetings Massasoit, we’re so clad you decided to come, may I take your head-dress?”

“Thank you Barbara, here, we weren’t sure what to bring, I hope you like it,” he said while handing her a steaming the corn casserole. His wife came in behind him with bowl of cracked-wheat and brown sugar pudding. “Where’s Myles?” He then asked.

“Oh, he’s in the back with the boys getting ready for the big game. He said something about the teams wearing their old uniforms or something, it’s right through here,” she directed the Chief past the great room and back to the den.

“Good grief,” sighed his wife, Standing-Water. “Every year it’s the same thing, it seems like from September to January I’m a widow every Sunday.”

“I know what you mean,” she empathized. “Come on back to the kitchen,” she invited, “Priscilla’s here.”

“Oh my,” Mrs. Massasoit whispered, “I thought she was the one who was after your Myles.”

“Oh Lordy,” Barbara Standish assured her, “that was over eons ago. Besides, it was Myles who was after her- water under the bridge now. Besides, her new beau, John Alden is with her. He’s back there rough housing with the kids. My land, I swear I’ll never understand a man’s fascination with throwing a pig’s bladder around.”

Finally, meal time arrived. The children petered each other and teased. The youngest kids turned up their noses at the squash and peas. The Herring and eel were very popular, but not as much as the venison with gooseberry relish. Myles Standish had to stop the boys from throwing hickory nuts at the girls. For the most part, a good time was had by all.

Until Bill Bradford stood up to make a speech. He had hitting the ale pretty hard all afternoon.

“The Council has thought meet to appoint and set apart...a day of Solemn Thanksgiving and praise to God for such his Goodness and Favour, many Particulars of which mercy might be Instanced...” he rambled.

“Oh no,” pined Alden under his breath to his friend Myles, “Here he goes talking about religion again.

“...The Council doth commend it to the Respective Ministers, Elders and people of this Jurisdiction;” Bradford continued.

“Aw man,” Standish complained to Alden, now he’s on to politics...”

And thus the first Thanksgiving dinner was ruined by people talking about sex, politics, and religion. If only they would have stuck to food and football.