Happy Gonzo Day

Just thought I'd wish you a happy Hunter S. Thompson's Birthday!
Remember, when the goin gets wierd, the wierd turn pro.

Hunter Stockton Thompson (July 18, 1937 – February 20, 2005) was an American journalist and author. He was known for his flamboyant writing style, most notably deployed in his novel Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, which blurred the distinctions between writer and subject, fiction and nonfiction. It became known as gonzo journalism and was widely imitated.

--
__________________________________
http://tedscolumn.blogspot.com

"The gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." ~Garrison Keillor

Donklephant

Donklephant

This is a funny blog for independents.
I used to think of myself as "post-partisan" but the Bush neocons have really polarized me. Be that as it may, Donkeyphant's tag line is classic- "Big teeth, huge ass, suprisingly reasonable."

The Growing Threat of Right-Wing Christians

AlterNet: The Growing Threat of Right-Wing Christians

The Growing Threat of Right-Wing Christians

By Onnesha Roychoudhuri, AlterNet. Posted July 19, 2006.

"I don't want to be alarmist, but this is actually quite alarming," Michelle Goldberg said. She was referring to the subject of her new book, "Kingdom Coming: The Rise of Christian Nationalism," which chronicles the steady rise of the neocons of Christianity.

Whether she's attending a Ten Commandments conference or joining Tony Perkins' conference calls to listen in on what D.C. agenda will be passed on to congregations, Goldberg's reporting offers insight into a movement that has reshaped the nation's political and cultural landscape. Goldberg did not go undercover, nor wear any disguise. Rather, she simply showed up, listened and learned. And what she has learned is definitely alarming.

click any of these links to read the entire article

Jimbo for President

The other day I had an original idea. Okay, and almost original idea.

I Googled it to make sure and found that ALMOST nobody has taken this idea very seriously before.

My idea is Jimmy Buffett for President 2008. It's not a TOTALLY new idea. Former House Majority Leader, Texas Republican Dick Armey once tried to start a "Buffett for President" campaign back in 2002, but the Florida pirate and musician asked him not to, then made a campaign contribution to Florida Democrat Bob Graham's campaign.

And needless to say that Buffett's fans, known as "Parrotheads" have already printed T-shirts and his merchandising people have already made up bumper stickers, but other than Armey and the Parrotheads, I'm the first person to come up with this idea.

When you think about it, it's a fabulous idea. Our current President pretended to land a plane on an aircraft carrier, likes to work on his ranch and can cuss like a sailor. Jimmy Buffet flies his own sea-plane, likes to hang out on the beach and really is a sailor.

I hear you scoff. But the author of such hits as "Margaritaville," "Cheeseburger in Paradise," and "Why don't we get drunk and screw?" actually has some genuine political experience.

Buffett has been the honorary mayor of Key West, the honorary President of the Conch Republic and of course the President and CEO of the "Margaritaville" chain of restaurants and merchandise store.

There are going to be things that neither Republicans or Democrats will like. Democrats may not be keen on how Jimmy would be okay with Free Trade. Republicans certainly won't like the legalization of various substances that show up at beach parties. You can never please everyone, but that's the point in proposing a third party, the "Parrot-ican-icrats."

Hawks may be frustrated because Parroticancrats are very laid-back.

They never rush in to anything let alone a fight. Doves may eventually be dismayed someday though, if some other nation just happens to go too far, especially if the Parrothead-in-chief will have had a few too many that day because he won't put up with any crap from anybody, unless he feels like it.

Just imagine the first 100 days of legislative proposals. Lime will be the national fruit, Rum and Tequila will become the official national mixers, the hammock will become the official national outdoor sleeping place thing and shrimp the official appetizer. And don't forget the national shirt-wear, Hawaiian.

And just so you know that he's got a whole team assembled to handle the world's problems, here are a few suggestions for cabinet:

Vice President will be Joel Walsh, formerly of the "Eagles," now touring again with his band the "James Gang." I know you were expecting Allan Jackson, but I figured him for Secretary of State. We need somebody tall to impress all those world leaders.

Besides, Jimmy asked around and Joel was the only person who wanted the job. In fact, here's what Walsh said about his role:

"If I was Vice President you know what I'd do? Pretty much anything I wanted to. I'd have a first class seat on Air Force One. An awesome pad in Washington D.C. (If you vote for me) Play golf all day with heads of state, if they brought beer wouldn't that be great? I can't wait!"

Just to keep the Red-Staters and hawks happy, we'd make Toby Kieth Secretary of Defense. He seems to know where to place American boots when necessary.

Bruce "the Boss" Springstien would be Secretary of Labor.

Willie Nelson and John Cougar Mellencamp will become Co-Secretaries of Agriculture- what with all their work on "Farm Aid" and all. And you don't want Willie at either the IRS or the DEA.

Reggae artist Ziggy Marley will become Secretary of Education, that way no child will be left behind without first “learning about peace, love, and surfing, mon.”

I figure Jimmy Buffet and Warren Buffett have to be related somehow, so we'll appoint the "Oracle of Omaha" Secretary of the Treasury.

Heck, I don't know why somebody didn't think of that one before- President Buffet may just want to put me in charge of the Ministry of Great Ideas.

Here's another idea; instead of having the inauguration on the steps of the Capital in DC, we'll have it at sunset on "Mallory Square" in Key West.

I just hope this goes farther than the "Bullwinkle for President" bandwagon I jumped on a few years back, or the Bozo campaign before that.

Are You Embarrassed Enough To Replace Steve King?

Are You Embarrassed Enough To Replace Steve King?

CommYOUnity; Charter Oak Achievement Days

Even in a drought I love living in small town Iowa. Sure, the sweet
corn and the home grown tomatoes may be hard to come by this summer,
but it's not just about the food, it's about the people.

If you're reading the Charter Oak- Ute NEWSpaper it's pretty obvious
that there's a lot of coverage of the Charter Oak Achievement Days
this week. If you're reading the Schleswig Leader, I'm sorry because
you're really missing some fun pictures.

When our late publisher Mike Lyon started running this column on page
three, which the Leader and NEWSpaper share, he suggested that I try
not to focus too much on too local of subject matter, so as not to
alienate new readers in Schleswig. I've tried, but I just have to
talk-up the Achievement Days a little bit this week. The thing is,
it's the kind of volunteerism and community that makes all of rural
Iowa so wonderful.

The fact is that these three papers have a lot of territory to cover.
The Press serves Castana, Smithland and Danbury, not just Mapleton.
Between the Newspaper and the Leader, we also have to cover Soldier,
Ute, Charter Oak and of course Schlewsig and everything in between
(which I guess is Ricketts).

That being the case, I want to once a gain make a plea for your
contributions and participation, not to mention your patience. Jackie
Pester did her best to cover both Ute and Charter Oak and Karen Soukup
certainly represented Ute well being from there. In their absence
we've been advertising for someone to cover these areas. I've got only
a few more weeks before I go back to school.
Schleswig has Elaine Teut but I for one really think that you lost as
much as Mapleton when Bonnie Schoreder left our staff. The point is
that most of our content for all three papers has always been
submitted by you the community anyway. Please keep up the good work.

When your community has a big event like the Charter Oak Achievement
Days, let us know. Call, E-mail or fax the office in Mapleton and let
Ann Collins know that you'd love to have someone come out and cover
it. If they can't, you can. Take some pictures and jot down some facts
and names. You don't have to be a great photographer or a wonderful
writer. You just have to care about your community.

When you travel around the Midwest, you rarely find towns as small as
ours that even have newspapers, let alone papers of the caliber of
these three. There are a few ways to keep them and keep them as good
as they are and most of them involve you.
Obviously we need your subscriptions. So please, renew, encourage
other people to subscribe or renew, and give subscriptions as gifts.

I know it's tough sometimes, but please advertise. Believe me it's not
easy to sell ads, not everybody is made of money and certainly with
things like school sports or 4-H and FFA Shows folks figure they can
support the kids in more direct ways, but let me tell ya, if you want
to see them covered in the paper, the paper needs to be able to afford
the room they commit to those activities.
But above all, contribute. You don't have to have a digital camera and
E-mail, you can loan the paper prints that they can scan and scribble
down some notes that they can type up. If the paper doesn't have
someone available to cover an event that you think is important or if
they just don't know about it ahead of time, they rely on your
submissions.

As the old saying goes, "If it's going to be, it' s up to me."
Now, end of plea. Let me tell you about some folks who do just that,
they make things come to be.
As a resident of Charter Oak, I can't tell you how impressed I am with
my friend Peggy Staley. I don't know how the idea for "Arts at the
Arboretum" got into her head, but I'm glad it did. She's to be
commended for all her time and effort spearheading the event as are
all the volunteers who made it happen.

Charter Oak is lucky to have such a terrific facility and I fear that
too many of us take it for granted. Featuring local talent in a
picturesque picnic like setting may be just what we needed to draw our
attention to it so that we take better advantage of it and take better
care of it.

I'd also like to recognize Charter Oak-Ute Agriculture teacher Lee
Stence. Of course, he'd be the first to deflect the publicity and
offer it to all the parents, kids and volunteers that put so much work
into the livestock shows at the heart of Charter Oak Achievement Days
and he's right.

There are very few individual towns in Iowa that still have a local
fair event like we do. As a matter of fact, there are many county
fairs that aren't as nice or that have fewer animals in their shows.
Some may be nostalgic for "the good old days" when it was even bigger
and better, but as a transplant, I for one am always wowed. From an
annual alumni banquet, rather than each class having to be on their
own, to the Methodist food stand, the FFA, the 4-H clubs, the Fire
Department, the Commercial Club, the Clubettes, the Youth Groups and
anyone else I failed to mention, a whole community has to come
together to put on such a summer spectacular.

So pat yourselves on the back. And please, keep up the good work. And
don't be afraid to share some ideas. As good as we have it, we can
always do better. We can all make a difference with removing litter,
maintenance, weeding and gardening. And there are always resources
that we've overlooked.

T-Shirt Idea

Henry Wallace on our times

Here are a collection of quotes from one of my favorite historical figures. Henry A. Wallace, like Ben Franklin, was a publisher, a scientist, and a statesman, only Wallace was from Iowa. He published Wallace’s Farmer, started Pioneer Seeds, became FDR’s Secretary of Agriculture, Secretary of Commerce, and Vice President (before Truman.) He ran for President as a 3^rd party candidate (the Progressive Party) with the endorsement of Elenor Roosevelt. He was ahead of his time on détente’ and integration, so he was attacked by MacCarthy and his followers. I think his words have a haunting relevance today. Read what he said in the days after WWII and see if you can’t apply his concerns to the Bush Administration, the “neocons,” the religious right, oil companies, talk radio and Fox News:

“Still another danger is represented by those who, paying lip service to democracy and the common welfare, in their insatiable greed for money and the power which money gives, do not hesitate surreptitiously to evade the laws designed to safeguard the public from monopolistic extortion.

Their final objective toward which all their deceit is directed is to capture political power so that, using the power of the state and the power of the market simultaneously, they may keep the common man in eternal subjection.

They claim to be super-patriots, but they would destroy every liberty guaranteed by the Constitution.

They are patriotic in time of war because it is to their interest to be so, but in time of peace they follow power and the dollar wherever they may lead.

A fascist is one whose lust for money or power is combined with such an intensity of intolerance toward those of other races, parties, classes, religions, cultures, regions or nations as to make him ruthless in his use of deceit or violence to attain his ends.

The obvious types of American fascists are dealt with on the air and in the press. These demagogues and stooges are fronts for others. Dangerous as these people may be, they are not so significant as thousands of other people who have never been mentioned.

The American fascist would prefer not to use violence. His method is to poison the channels of public information.

With a fascist the problem is never how best to present the truth to the public but how best to use the news to deceive the public into giving the fascist and his group more money or more power.

If we define an American fascist as one who in case of conflict puts money and power ahead of human beings, then there are undoubtedly several million fascists in the United States.

In an effort to eliminate the possibility of any rival growing up, some monopolists would sacrifice democracy itself.

It may be shocking to some people in this country to realize that, without meaning to do so, they hold views in common with Hitler when they preach discrimination against other religious, racial or economic groups.

If we put our trust in the common sense of common men and 'with malice toward none and charity for all' go forward on the great adventure of making political, economic and social democracy a practical reality, we shall not fail.

A liberal knows that the only certainty in this life is change but believes that the change can be directed toward a constructive end.”

HAPPY BIRTHDAY Dr.Raul Duke

This would've been the birthday of Gonzo Journalist Hunter S. Thompson. Just thought I'd let you know.

Remember:

"When the going gets wierd,
the wierd turn pro."

Tony Campolo EAPE

Tony Campolo EAPE

My favorite Evangelical author, check out his website. Proof that not all Christians are hyphenated.

Equal time for 'Old Timers'

At the beginning of this summer I used this column to introduce you to some of the new people here in the PRESS office in Mapleton. And boy did I ever catch heck for it. Not from the new publishers or any of the new staffers, but from the old guard.

"What about us, huh, Ted?" One asked, "What are we? Chopped-liver?"

Okay, okay, even though I'm sure that some readers are ready for something light and funny, like cute things my kids have said or done. In the "Sex, Politics, and Religion" vein, I haven't written anything too spiritual in a while, and Lord knows there's plenty going on in politics.

That's alright, this is a subject that is close to my heart anyway. I consider myself insanely lucky to get to work here this summer and as I've said before, I'd just about give a limb to get the new publishers Mark Rhoades and Brad Swenson to let me work here every summer from now on. But it's one thing to get to do something you love, but to get to do it with people you enjoy and care about is even better.

Here are just a handful of the people who's names appear in the staff box on page two every week:

I don't know who's been here the longest, but I know who the core is, Ann Collins. Ann is our office manager who sits in the reception area up front.

If I'm not mistaken, she started working for Mike and Barb Lyon back when she was still in high school. Consequently, she knows these three newspapers inside out. Julie Haman, the new reporter for the PRESS and I joke that she's like Radar O'Rielly on the TV show MASH. If you need to know where something is, how something's done, or what's going on, you just need to ask Ann. Unfortunately for her, most of Western Iowa knows this about her.

People are constantly calling or stopping in and asking her for phone numbers, directions, on office hours- not ours, some other businesses'. Like a bartender, she also has to listen to everybody's problems and complaints. Sometimes about the paper or their ad or subscription, but more often than not, just about the weather or life in general, or city hall.

This summer I've been at the "ad desk" with Carol Cowsert. This suits me fine because Carol is who I usually get help with the computer from. She's also who I always E-mail my column to on Fridays during the school year. She's originally from Colorado and she tends to agree with me politically, so I like to imagine her as some kind of hippie flower child when she was a kid. Unlike me, she's quiet, pleasant, amiable and polite- so maybe the hippy thing is way off.

She's just about as hard a worker as you'll find. She works up all the ads, on top of building the Budget Booster, our ads for the Rocket, Greensaver, and Today's Action, and her share of Mapleton PRESS (and this page when I'm not here). She's the least likely to break for coffee and the last to leave for lunch. I don't know where we'd be without her.

There are some that we only get to see once a week like Elaine Teut, our Schleswig correspondent, whom I always call Evelen or Elaine or any other name. Former owner and financial officer Barb Lyon, was coming in to paste-up the Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper before I came. We still get to see her at lunch on Mondays or Tuesdays at Piccadilly Circus where we run into lots of other regulars. And of course Nancy Hanson, and Sheryl Bruhn and the rest of the Tuesday crew who all stuff, fold, sort, stack, tie and ship your papers every Tuesday; Howard Kruse, Delores Gosch and Molly Tullis.

Then there's Cathy Hanson, she and Nancy are sisters. They still have the same last name because they married brothers. Cathy's a hoot. She's like a great aunt or everybody's grandma or something. Maybe I just think that because she has so many stories about her grand kids.

At least once a week she bakes treats that she brings in for break
time. She used to do the print the T-shirts for the "Ink Spot," before
it was bought and moved to Castana. Cathy does lots of typing and
picture taking, but I need her proofreading skills most of all since
I\'m such an abysmal speller.

Carol prefers to have it quiet when she works, but on days she\'s not
here Michelle Kane plays Country radio for me. Michelle takes
pictures, does write-ups and builds most of the PRESS and helps with
the Booster and other papers. She and I both love spicy food. She
cans her own salsa, and does a lot of gardening, but we\'re told that
the billion cats that live on her farm have wrecked all her cucumbers
this year.

We don't always realize how fortunate we are in such small towns to have such superior newspapers, and these folks are much of the reason why.

There. Is this good enough for ya, Michelle?


At least once a week she bakes treats that she brings in for break time. She used to do the print the T-shirts for the "Ink Spot," before it was bought and moved to Castana. Cathy does lots of typing and picture taking, but I need her proofreading skills most of all since I'm such an abysmal speller.

Carol prefers to have it quiet when she works, but on days she's not here Michelle Kane plays Country radio for me. Michelle takes pictures, does write-ups and builds most of the PRESS and helps with the Booster and other papers. She and I both love spicy food. She cans her own salsa, and does a lot of gardening, but we're told that the billion cats that live on her farm have wrecked all her cucumbers this year.

We don't always realize how fortunate we are in such small towns to have such superior newspapers, and these folks are much of the reason why.
There. Is this good enough for ya, Michelle?

Religious Left Merchandise : CafePress.com

Religious Left Merchandise : CafePress.com

What Emails Would Jesus Forward?

Recently, I received an Email forward that claimed to be an appeal from radio psychologist Dr. James Dobson asking my help in fighting famous Atheist Madeline Murray O'Hare. The Email claimed that she was responsible for 'Touched By An Angel' being taken off the air, and now she was trying to take all Christian broadcasting off the air.

It turns out this is a hoax. Dr. Dobson has made no such appeal. 'Touched By An Angel' was a successful program that ran for 9 seasons (1994- 2003) and simply ran its course. O'Hare disappeared in 1995. In 2001, authorities in Texas found her remains in a shallow grave.

The Email ended with a "PETITION TO REINSTATE PRAYER IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS." You're supposed to add your name to the bottom of the list and forward it on to everyone in your address book. The one millionth signer was supposed to Email the whole shebang to President George W. Bush.

The guy doesn't even have Email, he's said he doesn't believe in it. If you were President, would you open any Emails with a Million "Fwd: Fw: Fw: Fw:" in the subject line?

So, who would write these prayers for public schools? Southern Baptists? Methodists? Roman Catholics? Greek Orthodox? Lutheran? These groups are all Christians, yet there are many Evangelical Protestants who do not believe that Coptics, Lutherans and Catholics are true Christians.

The Lutheran Church Missouri Synod doesn't recognize 7th Day Adventists as actual Christians because they deny the doctrine of the Trinity taught in the canonical Creeds.
Jehovah's Witnesses and Mormons are not Christians, although many of them think that they are. What if my child had a Scientologist teacher? Or a Unitarian or a Jew, Hindu, Hare Krishna or Buddhist? Or what about a practitioner of Wicca or some other neo-pagan tradition?

I'm a public school teacher and I don't believe that it's my place to tell my students how to pray, let alone what to believe. If they are Christian, and it's okay with their parents, I would love to encourage, help nurture and mentor their faith. But the time for that is outside of class, not in front of all their classmates during time meant for Journalism, Art or whatever other subject matter. The last line of the Email said this:

"REMEMBER! : Our country was founded on freedom of religion."

Many people these days are proud of the fact that the Pilgrims founded the Plymouth colony for religious freedom. But who were they seeking freedom from? King James I, as in "the King James Bible." Protestants and Christians were killing each other in England in Jesus name for decades. The Puritans weren't exactly known for offering religious freedom to others, heretics, Jews, and of course accused witches certainly weren't.

The Plymouth Company that founded the Massachusetts Bay Colony and the London Company that founded Jamestown were businesses. America was founded on making money, even if it was Christians who did it.

Please, read Matthew 6:5-7 and rethink your position. Jesus never forces Himself on anyone.

If you want you kids to pray in school, enroll them in a Christian school. May I suggest a few excellent Lutheran Schools- visit http://www.valpo.edu/lutheran/lhsdir/index.htm

The separation of Church and state is the price we pay for our freedom of religion.
I loved the "Touched by an Angel" show, but lets face it, the true religion of America is consumerism. Money makes TV networks turn-round. If your faith in and relationship with Jesus is important to you, turn off your TV and open your Bible. You'll win more souls by being like Him, and near Him than by trying to force a cultural/political agenda on anyone, by TV programming, petitions, prayer in public schools, or Spam Emails.

"I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it." - Thomas Jefferson