Not just a cartoonist, but an editorial cartoonist
but I thought that was kind of a pipe dream
then I fell in love with essay or column writing
but I knew that was even more of a pipe dream
I thought I could be a graphic designer
but I realized that it wasn't as sure a thing as I thought
then I fell in love with teaching
then I committed myself to coaching
but I always wondered
I struggled
and prayed
at one time it seemed like I was meant to become a pastor
almost immediately someone proposed that I become a publisher
then no sooner had each path been suggested, than both were denied
but as consolation, I was writing, to a tiny audience, but in a small way,
it was like the fulfillment of a dream
then I added on editorial cartooning
same tiny audience, but published none the less
living my childhood dream
I dared to dream
After years, I finally got up the gumption to pursue it full scale
I tried the same with the column writing
But the doors were closed
Almost coincidentally,
I was asked to give it up
One of the hardest things I'd ever had to do
So do I try yet another path?
How long will it take?
Where do I even begin?
Will I have unconditional support and encouragement?
Will I merit conditional encouragement?
Is it worth it?
Is it the right path?
I used to think that God ordained paths for me
That He had plans for me, to prosper me and not to harm me
But it seems like whatever that path is,
It's never the one I choose.
I am a teacher, and I love it
Even with all the hassles and disappointments and hoops to jump through and paper tigers to chase
I am a coach, and I derive meaning from it
Mentoring, supporting,
Even with all the struggles and challenges
I am a dad, and I know I need to focus more energy on that
I love my children, but parenting seems sometimes to require way more energy than it provides
I am a husband, and I know I should be content with that
I love my wife, but hoped my dreams would be contagious to her
But instead, they're like infections to her
So many doors have closed,
Are there any new ones opening?
Any windows?
Do I dare?
If I do, will anyone help me?
Will God be on my side?
Will my wife appreciate it?
Do I just want to study psychology because I feel so hopelessly neurotic?
Do I just want a Master's degree because I feel so inadequate?
Where do I go from here?
Where do I go from here?
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