Vocabulary of a two year old

by Ted Mallory
Thursday July 15, 2004

Our two year old, Ellen has three phrases that she uses in place of a period to let us know that she’s spoken a complete sentence. They are: “You know it; I said; and Me told you.” Allow me to demonstrate how she might use them:

“It waining outside, you know it?” (Translation: “it is raining outside.”)

“I wan mo’ milky, I said.” (“Translation: “May I have more milk, please?”) If the request is not met immediately, you can expect to hear “I SAID” a few more times and perhaps louder. “Mo’ milk, I SAID!”

Sometimes all three may be strung together to form an exclamation-“See? Me TOLD you it Waining! Me told you, I said.” (Translation: “I notice that it is still raining outside.”)

These are all phrases that she learned from her older sister Grace. I believe Grace used them whenever she was frustrated with having to repeat herself to adults who didn’t understand her. Grace is still struggling with dysarthria and/or dis-co-ordination, disorders that don’t have anything to do with her understanding and learning, but hamper her being understood by others.

When Grace was two she might have said, “Itwaninouside”

Of course, we’d respond, “What did you say honey?”

And she’d repeat her statement, punctuated with her frustration, “It WAINING OUSIDE, you KNOW IT!”

We like to say that Ellen two going on 14, if only because she’s decided to call us “Bef and Ted” as often as she does “Mom and Dad.”

As rough as it was understanding Grace, it’s been even more of a challenge to understand Ellie because Ellie will use completely different words for certain meanings. For example, we believe that in her language, “Helwen” means “Sister.” Why else would she use the word “Helwen” whenever she calls to her sister Grace?

“Helwen! Come here Helwen!”

“My names not Helwen, I’m Gwace, you Helwen,” Grace may answer.

“Come on Gwace” Ellen will reply.

Likewise, for a long time “Grammy” was any woman over 50. Now that she has “Gwammy Mawge” separated from “Gwama Laura” and “Anntie Gwadys,” she has decided that ANY family member is a cousin.

As in “Gwama Lawra, you my COUSIN!”

Of course, her favorite cousin is Braden. Braden is in seventh grade and lives in Topeka Kansas. I believe Ellen is in love with Braden. Once she told us that she and Braden were going to have a baby. Don’t worry, our family strongly discourages inbreeding.

When Grace looks over the photos on our refrigerator, she likes to name off all of her cousins, “Nolan my cousin, Hallie my cousin, Cale my cousin, Braden my…”

“NO!” Ellie declares, “Bwaden’s MY cousin!” She’s just a little possessive.

One day I told Ellie, “I LOVE you SO much! And I love Gracie, and I love your Mommy…”

To which she instantly responded “an I wuv BWADEN!”

A “pickle” could be a pickle, an onion, or a mushroom. All meats are “chicken,” even ham and beef, except for “cheese boogers.”

One day, I was trying to customize the song “Old MacDonald,” by singing “Pappa Allan has a farm,” with the girls. Ellen started singing her own song altogether.

“Old McDonald’s Happy Meal, EE I E I O!”
That, of course is the full name of that fast food restaurant, by the way. It’s not just “McDonald’s.” The name is actually “McDonald’s-Happy-Meal.” You know that you’re nearly there when you drive past “All-Mort” (Wal-Mart).

Ants, butterflies, mosquitoes and bees are all “bUgs,” but spiders are “Sooper Spidah Man.” Peter Parker, of course is a “big boy like Bwaden.”

Her favorite color is orange, and she knows what orange looks like, but if you ask her to identify any other color and they’re all either “bwack or pupurle.”

Last Christmas, my Brother-in-law Cory put a frightening thought in our heads- Hallie, Grace, and Ellie driving around in a car in ten or twelve years from now. But I have found hope that Ellie will be a cautious driver someday. I have this hope because recently she’s become a serious back seat driver.

From her car seat behind be in the van comes a constant stream of “watch out Daddy, slow down Daddy, too slow Daddy, turn the fan on Daddy, look out Dad, Stop Dad, Go Dad…” and occasionally “where we going, Ted?”

It’s usually a joy to listen to a two-year-olds prattle. But there are times you wish they would be seen and not heard. Like when we were shopping and she told me in a loud voice in front of the whole store, “Dad, you gotta BIG BUTT!”