SNOW business

No business like SNOW business

Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper & Schleswig Leader, Thursday, January 11, 2007 Page 3

NOTE: I SO believe that global warming is a genuine threat, should be taken seriously, and that Bush W. was sorely mistaken to pull us out of the Kyoto protocol- but I couldn't pass up a good joke. Especially considering what this column is about. As a cartoonist, I REALLY have to work on my Gore caricature though, but cut me some slack, I only do this once a week and have only REALLY been doing it for about six months.

Around New Years, when the storm blew through, all I could think about was staying inside with a hot beverage and read or sleep. My kids desperately needed to be out in the gale. I thought it was sandy, cold and wet. They thought it was pretty, fun and white.

We were visiting their grandparents’ farm when the snow came. I was worried about how to get our van up the hill and home across country roads. They were worried about where the sleds were and how quick they could put them to use.

I wanted nothing more than to be inside, warm and dry. They had no qualms about lying down and making snow-angels, this means actually lying down… in cold, wet, snow. Did I mention that?

As hard as it is for me to enjoy the frozen precipitation, it does make for some great memories. Last year, I relayed a story from their Grandpa Mallory. My Dad grew up in Petoski, Michigan. Seems he’d fill a bowl with fresh fallen snow and drizzle on some maple syrup. Grace, 7 and Ellie, 5 were thrilled with this idea. Once the sledding was over, Grace grabbed some bowls out of the cupboard and served up the snow. Naturally there was hot chocolate too.

Last summer we picked up a used snow blower. Arizona natives like me don’t have anymore experience with these devises than we do with snow shovels. Come to find out they’re even harder to start than push mowers, plus you have to start them in the cold. After doing more to pull my shoulder out of its socket than get the thing started, I sought the aid of the brother-in-law. Admitting you need help is a huge step for any man. Seems that while suburban high school students in Young Democrats of America take drafting classes but rural students in Future Farmers of America take small engines class. After fiddling a little here and babying the thing there and striking just the right balance of choke and throttle, he had me going.

Suddenly, I was one of those people I’d only seen in pictures of places like Buffalo or Minneapolis. Snow blower lesson number one; if it’s “self-propelled,” let it propel itself. If you try pushing it, you may as well be pushing a shovel, and oh yeah, you’ll clog it. Also, if you wait until too late in the afternoon, the snow will get too damp and too packed, this will tend to clog it too.

I may not be a native, but I am over 30 so I did have good sense enough to turn it completely off and disengage everything before unclogging it. But go figure, I couldn’t get it started up again. Cold and tired, I put it away, hoped the sun would do the rest of the job and got in the van to head over to my brother-in-law’s New Year’s lunch. On the two block drive, virtually EVERY homeowner between our houses was shoveling or snow-blowing their drives. When I pulled up to their house, both brother-in-law and nephew were shoveling their walk. I couldn’t take it. I went back home, determined to finish the job the old way. Fifteen minutes and a few coughs later, I decided to give the blower another try. Bingo! Thank God it started on the second try. This time I let it propel itself and sure enough it didn’t clog. Be that as it may, lesson two is that you still need boots. My shoes and sock weren’t frozen, but inside the soaked stuff, my feet felt like they were.

I was beginning to see why my dad decided to leave Michigan for the Valley of the Sun and why so many Iowa “Snowbirds” do so almost every winter too.

I changed into dry shoes and socks and finally sowed up for lunch. The kids? Knee deep in their cousins’ yard working on snowmen.