1. Admit we are powerless over our addiction and that our lives have become unmanageable. Damn right. If it were manageable, I'd be grading research papers right now instead of writing you.
2. Come to believe that only a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. Then again, there is that whole "Catch-22" factor, I mean, if we're sane enough to realize that this is a problem, then maybe we CAN stop any time we want to. I mean who's to say what the definition of sanity really is anyway?
3. Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him. But I don't understand Him, I mean come on- why, why, when there are SO many freaking books in Barnes&Noble, can't God let me be able to make a living at writing. Just a living, I don't have to be THAT rich, or THAT famous. Is that SO much to ask?
4. Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Don’t you wish that some of those corporate CEOs at the oil companies and sub-prime mortgage lenders would do this? How about our politicians? Aren't we writers BECAUSE we're constantly making searching inventories of ourselves? We're some of the few people on this planet who are actually self-reflective, am I right? Or are we just more neurotic than other people?
5. Admit to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs. I spend too much time writing. My wife is an English teacher and she doesn't write as much as me. I'll sit there writing at night while she wants me to watch Criminal Minds with her. I'm shameless. I'm supposed to be devising the assignments for my Photography students right now since it's my planning period, but am I planning? No, I'm writing. I can't help it, it's a compulsion.
6. Be ready to have God remove all these defects of character. Yeah right. He made me this way in the first place. I blame Him. I'm like the monster and He's Doctor Frankenstein. If God hadn't wanted me to be a writer, why'd He invent the personal computer? Is it His sick sense of humor to tease me with the internet but never let me make it to actual printed books or magazines? I bet he gets a real kick out of watching me type away. Like someone who just pretends to throw a ball or Frisbee for their dog to fetch because they think it's funny to watch them scurry after the phantom ball, only to be left sniffing around in circles for a toy that isn't there.
7. Ask Him to remove our shortcomings. The thing is, you have to be careful what you wish for. It's like this; do people who suffer from mental illness really suffer? Because if you have amnesia, schizophrenia, Alzheimer's or dementia, or multiple-personality-disorder, you wouldn't realize that you had it right? Some of those you'd forget you had it even if you did, right? So I figure, maybe this would be a good idea, because I wouldn't be so tormented by this love of writing anymore, I mean, does the person who undergoes a lobotomy miss their frontal lobe?
8. Make a list of all the people we’ve hurt and be willing to make amends to them.
- That lady who said she couldn't believe they let someone like me teach in our schools because I compared John McCain to Herbert Hoover and called Sarah Palin, "Caribu Barbie."
- Those right-wing chicks who figure I'm going to Hell because I said that the way to reduce the number of abortions was to work at eliminating poverty and provide affordable health care rather than simply outlawing it.
- My daughters that time I was late picking them up from whatever practice because I got so caught up in finishing a piece that probably wasn't for anything more important than a blog.
- My friends who want to chat with me online, but I feel like they're bugging me like mosquitoes flying around my face while I'm trying to get work done (work being writing something that will never get published anywhere anyway).
- My wife who wishes I'd watch Criminal Minds with her on the couch with some popcorn.
9. Make direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. I don't know... I love my wife and I enjoy Criminal Minds, but I really don't like popcorn. Frankly, that lady who likes John McCain so well is lost in her own ignorance, let her vote for Donald Trump or Newt or Huck for all I care. I can always find a job in Winnepeg, so long as my wife and kids will move with me.
10. Continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong, promptly admit it. Well duh, that's what I'm always doing. Why do writers write? Because we think. That's like asking why birds bird or why bees bee. I admit it, I suck. If I was any good, I'd be Steven King or James Patterson- that doesn't mean I can stop. If I could stop
11. Seek through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understand Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out. As opposed to praying that there's enough money in our bank account to pay all our bills again this month, or maybe praying that I could win the lottery without buying a ticket?
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we try to share the message with others and practice these principles in all our affairs. That's all I'm doing here. What did you think? That I'm writing this for my health?
1 comment:
Awesome! Hello my name is Jami. I mentally write all the time but it's been 3 days since I wrote my last paragraph as well. :)
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