Need me? I love teaching, but if you have a decent salary and a decent benefits package, I'm open. I'll also be happy to work part time or for special projects while remaining a teacher- every little bit helps. Look around these websites to see what I can do.
Mallory

I had this kid in class last year. I hope he's okay, wherever he is now.
Mallory

The Des Moines public library across the river, looking East.
Mallory

Grass Triangle by Kenneth Kahl Jr.
Here's an interesting exercize that a former student of mine had to do in a Fundamentals of Art class at Concordia, Seward.
Mallory

Current Month's Issue of ARTnews Magazine

Wierds stuff!Current Month's Issue of ARTnews Magazine Fear no Art!

Randi, pencil, 2003
Mallory

Cactus, oil pastel on board, 1998
Mallory

Female torso, charcoal, 1991
Mallory

Stapler, charcoal on newsprint, 1997 or sometime in there.
Mallory

Guests enjoy their turkey at the St. John LYF's annual Thanks-Giving Dinner in the Church basement, Sunday, November 21, 2004

Confessions of an L-tryptophan addict

Confessions of an L-tryptophan addict
by Ted Mallory Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper Thursday, December 2, 2004

I sent out a letter to LYF parents about the annual Thanks-Giving dinner toward the end of October/ at the beginning of November. Still, one parent thought I should cover my bases. With church attendance what it’s been, not to mention the pastor-vacancy and the shrinking sizes of junior high and high school classes…we worried about whether we’d have enough food and enough help.

So I sent out another letter the week before and I decided to make phone calls. The prospect of calling all eighteen high school students in the congregation seemed a little daunting. I’m not exactly phone-phobic, but it’s not something I enjoy or do well. I prefer to let my fingers do their walking on a keyboard for emails or newsletters.

I eliminated calls before I began. There are three sets of siblings in LYF, no need to call people twice. Eight of the eighteen are pretty faithful in their participation, of course four of them are two of those three sets of siblings. That left nine phone calls of people who either participated part of the time or were as a Pastor or church Elder might refer to as “delinquent.”

One family had moved away, that narrowed it down to eight. Moving creates bureaucratic hang ups. The small, rural, conservative Lutheran church sits waiting for some official letter or application or notice of transfer of church membership or something the same way things were done in the nineteenth century. Things are so fluid and fickle in California that you just assume people aren’t members anymore if they’ve been gone for a month.

So I started calling. The two siblings were in, that was good news, although we only asked for one turkey from each family, not one from each kid. Some one else had bought a house and was going to move later this year. Their plan was to pain the new house the weekend of the dinner, but they’d bring food, great. Thanks. Someone else was having their big, extended family’s official family Thanksgiving that weekend. Understandable, thanks for letting us know, oh well, catch ya next year. Someone else was moving back into their home after months of rebuilding. More than understandable, do what ya gotta do.

Another, I don’t know if we’ll be there but we’ll send the food, Okay, thanks. Another, oh, we’re visiting family out of state that weekend, but we’ll send the food. Great, it wasn’t pre-cooked, but I could take care of that. I left a message on a the machine of another, but they never got back to me. Is that more than eight yet? Probably, that’s why I teach Art and not Math.

The hardest was the kid who apparently thought that I was assuming that they were their parent. They flatly told me that they would not be participating and then started giggling at me derisively as they hung up. I don’t know if they thought I had hung up already or just thought I was that stupid. Oh well. It wasn’t my intention to try to force them to do something they didn’t want to or that they thought would be boring or too much work. I see the turkey dinner as a service to the congregation and the community. And, I see the youth group as a way to have fun while growing in your faith. Maybe this kid sees us as dumb or lame or whatever kids call things that they don’t like these days. C’est la Vie, time to apply Luke 10:10-12.

At any rate. I figured, we’d have at least 10 or 12 turkeys, surely that would be enough to serve the average 160 people who come through the line every year. I had gotten the ingredients for Edna Johansen’s stuffing. One of the moms had gotten the groceries for corn and cranberries. I even took care of the potatoes with Staley’s. That sounds like no big deal, but as a non-detail, attention deficit afflicted guy like me, that was a personal victory. Sorry to come in last minute, as usual. Rick, thanks for saving me.

I figured that even if we only had six core kids and a couple of parents, we could handle the work. One mom offered to make two turkeys just in case. I thought about doing that too, although I already had two to make, mine and that family who was going out of state. The next worry was whether or not anyone would come. It used to be that Church was at 9:45 and people pretty well just filed down right after Church at 11. With the vacancy, St. John begins services at 8:15. Would people come back for lunch after going home for an hour?

My alarm went off at it’s usual 5:30 Saturday morning.

“Are you going to put your turkey in?” Beth asked.

I usually turn my alarm off on weekends, so I was crabby as a bear woke early from hibernation.

“Mmmggrg.” I mumbled. “It takes four hours, if I were going to have it done by the time we go in to decorate I would’ve had to start it an hour ago. Leavemealone. ZZZZZZ.”

Eventually I did get the first bird in by seven. There were six kids and two parents at the church to decorate and set tables at nine. A few of the usually true-blue boys weren’t there because they were at the Harlan football game at UNI. I can’t blame them. But we no only did a terrific job, we got done in record time- just one hour.

At eleven I checked my turkey. Toast. Hmmm, I don’t get it. The label said “3-4 hours for 10-12 lb turkeys” and “3 ½-51/2 for 12-15 lb turkeys.” So why did 4 hours do this?

“T-E-D!” Beth turned my name into a three syllable word. “Weren’t you WATCHING it? What did you think that little red button that pops out is for?”

She went to Denison to buy a replacement, along with some groceries for our own pantry. I set to work salvaging what I could. Surprisingly, only the first outer inch or so was really ruined. Once you got deeper in there was a lot of juicy meat. I pulled as much off the bones as I could and then got busy on my pumpkin pies. MMMM, does that ever make a house smell good! I’m proud to say that Martha Stewart would be proud! They were the best two pies I’d ever made. No over flow, no burnt crust, set up nice and firm. (of course, I did check on them every fifteen minutes or so.)

No sooner than I set the turkey in Tupperware out on the porch, the neighborhood cats started barking at our door. I thought it would be wise to put the turkey safely inside the refrigerator.

Turkey number two was probably the best tasting of the three. I know because I tested each of them. I think I learned from Julia Child that you’re supposed to do that sort of thing. I even found Biblical precedent for it: For the Scripture says, "Do not muzzle the ox while it is treading out the grain," and "The worker deserves his wages." ~1Timothy 5:18

Some people loath turkey. Others tolerate it once or twice a year. I could have it once a week. I think it’s great. Maybe it’s that it’s a comfort food. Maybe it’s that it’s got a deeper flavor than chicken, like Bison compared to beef, turkey makes chicken seem boring. Maybe it’s the L-tryptophan, that famous enzyme that makes you sleepy.

Turkey number two wasn’t done till eight or nine at night. It was definitely the best looking of the three. Reddish. Although, since the oven had been on 350º for twelve hours, some of the plastic from the top of the bag had melted onto the skin of the bird. Of course, this could also have been because when I put the turkey in the bag, the bottom fell out, so I had to tie it at both ends, rather than just one.

What a wonderful turn out! Not only did we have nine kids, but we had eleven of their parents helping on the line and in the kitchen. Not only that, but we didn’t just have 160 guests, we had around 200! Maybe it was a miracle, but we had just enough food too. Most years all the LYF families negotiate over who gets stuck with the leftovers. This year, there weren’t enough to worry about. And needless to say, people were very generous. Hopefully the offering will make up for any future revenue shortfalls LYF has because of a smaller and smaller membership preventing further fundraisers. Thank you Thank you Thank you.

So, three days later we loaded up the girls and drove to Sioux Falls, where Beth’s cousin has to worry about cooking. I can just enjoy the soothing effects of the tryptophan, and watch the Detroit Lions beat whoever they’re matched up against this year.

Thank you Charter Oak, thank you LYF kids and parents, and Thank you, Lord. Now, if I could just figure out what to get my parents and brother and his wife for Christmas!

Ten Thanksgiving myths exposed - The Daily Campus - Focus

Ten Thanksgiving myths exposed - The Daily Campus - Focus:
"Ten Thanksgiving myths exposed"

Myth #1: The Plymouth Pilgrims of 1620 were the first to celebrate Thanksgiving in America.

Fact #1: The Indians at that time had been living in North America for some 40,000 years before the Pilgrims even arrived, and they certainly had celebrated their harvest before.

Myth #2: The Pilgrims wore only black and white clothing, and they had buckles on their hats, garments and shoes.

Fact #2: Buckles did not come into fashion until the seventeenth century, and black and white were usually only worn on Sundays and formal occasions.

Myth #3: The Mayflower intended to land in Virginia but instead landed in Cape Cod due to navigational error.

Fact #3: The Pilgrims did intend to land in Virginia, but not the Virginia that we all know and love. They were planning to land in "Northern Virginia," which is modern-day New York state, but ended up in Cape Cod instead.

Click here to read the rest!

Thankful for freedom

Rockwell's Four Freedoms

Thankful for freedom
Thursday November 25, 2004

This thanksgiving I am grateful for America’s great artist, Norman Rockwell. Rockwell painted four of his most famous paintings, “the Four Freedoms” in response to Franklin Delano Roosevelt's 1941 State of the Union address:



In the future days, which we seek to make secure, we
look forward to a world founded upon four essential human freedoms.
The first is freedom of speech and expression --everywhere in the world.

Think about the First Amendment.:

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or
prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of
the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the
government for a redress of grievances.”


FDR’s hope was that these freedoms would be extended throughout the world.
Rockwell remembered how Arlington, Vermont neighbor, Jim Edgerton had stood
up during a town meeting to voice a particularly unpopular opinion.
Rockwell’s 1943 painting shows Edgerton, dressed in work clothes, surrounded
by skeptical onlookers in decidedly white-collar clothes.

Maybe I identify with the guy in this painting. There are times when my opinions may
not be broadly shared or well-liked, but there are times when I feel passionately enough that I have to share them. Thank God, we live in a country I can. And so can you. More than ever before, we can call in to radio shows or email in to Travis Justice on Channel 3, or write in to the NEWSpaper.

If there are impediment to this freedom, it’s not government censorship. One market forces. When essentially three or four corporations own our major media outlets, what makes the agenda will be what sells, or what doesn’t offend advertisers- not what needs to be said. The
other is peer pressure. People won’t speak up or disagree if they’re made to feel inferior or intimidated socially.

The second is freedom of every person to worship God in his own way--
everywhere in the world.

Christians in Sudan are sold into slavery. Churches are bombed in Iraq. Religious organizations must register and be closely regulated and scrutinized in China. But if we are going to protect this freedom for ourselves and make it appealing to others, we need to be careful to remember our own history. Sure, the Puritan Pilgrims we remember on Thanksgiving were fleeing England to find religious freedom, because they were being persecuted, but who was persecuting them. Christians were disagreeing with Christians. The Puritans felt persecuted by King James (as in King James Bible).

It didn’t take the Pilgrims long to deny religious freedom to others. Rhode Island was founded by people kicked out of the Massachusetts Bay Colony because they let women participate in home Bible studies. I’m a Christian who opposes mandatory prayer in public schools because as a Lutheran-Christian, I don’t want my children forced to participate in Mormon or Scientologist rituals. Surely Baptists, Methodists, and Catholics would agree with me on that.

Thank God that He allows Muslims, Hindus, and even Satanists to reject Him. He doesn’t FORCE anyone to love Him or believe in Him, and thank God, neither does the United States of America. God wants everyone to know the truth about Him and He continues
to love them even if they deny that truth, but they reject Him, not the other way around. Rockwell’s painting features contrasting skin tones in the multi-ethnic figures, a daring thing to do in the 1940’s. “Red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in His sight.”

The third is freedom from want, which, translated into world terms, means
economic understandings which will secure to every nation a healthy peacetime
life for its inhabitants --everywhere in the world.

Did you know that if the entire world were only 100 people, 59% of
the entire world's wealth would belong to only 6 people and all 6 would be citizens of the United
States?! How lucky, how blessed, how fortunate, how spoiled? I love Thanksgiving, I love turkey, I love eating, but I have to tell you, that this statistic does make me eat my pumpkin pie with a scoop of guilt.

Be that as it may, this is one of the most beautiful, warm, joyful paintings by Norman Rockwell ever. It’s the one with Grandma and Grandpa hosting Thanksgiving dinner, serving up the picture-perfect bird on a platter to the family gathered around the holiday table.

The fourth is freedom from fear, which, translated into world terms, means a
world-wide reduction of armaments to such a point and in such a thorough fashion that no nation will be in a position to commit an act of physical aggression
against any neighbor --anywhere in the world.

This painting shows a mom and dad tucking their kids into bed at night. The dad has a newspaper with headlines announcing WWII bombings in Europe. I know that Charter Oak isn’t immune to crime or violence. I know that Iowa probably isn’t immune to terrorism, but I love living here. I love our traditional values, our rural common sense, knowing our neighbors, being able to walk to church. Outsiders might accuse us Midwesterners of being sheltered or unrealistic, but I don’t care. That’s exactly why I left LA to raise my family here, so that we can be the family in this painting. Tucking our girls in at night and helping them say their prayers. Thank God for our safety.

That is no vision of a distant millennium. It is a definite basis for a kind
of world attainable in our own time and generation. That kind of world is the
very antithesis of the so-called "new order" of tyranny which the dictators seek
to create with the crash of a bomb. To that new order we oppose the greater
conception --the moral order. A good society is able to face schemes of world
domination and foreign revolutions alike without fear.

Since the beginning of our American history we have been engaged in change, in a
perpetual, peaceful revolution, a revolution which goes on steadily, quietly, adjusting itself to changing conditions without the concentration camp or the quicklime in the ditch. The world order which we seek is the cooperation of free countries, working together in a friendly, civilized society.

This nation has placed its destiny in the hands, heads and hearts of its millions of
free men and women, and its faith in freedom under the guidance of God. Freedom means the supremacy of human rights everywhere. Our support goes to those who struggle to gain those rights and keep them. Our strength is our unity of purpose.

Thank God for the goals and hopes of FDR and the WWII generation

It's only Monday, Mr. Mom

I like to think of myself as a modern guy. There was never any question as to whether or not I'd help with our kids. There are some guys out there who have lots of grandkids already and they've never changed a poopy diaper. I'm not saying that makes me a good dad or anything. Here's a hint guys, never refer to it as "babysitting" the next time you have to watch your own kids without your wife's help.

Modern as I may be I have to admit that there are times when its hard. I have to tread lightly here guys, because I don't want the lady readers to think I'm complaining. Lets just say PARENTING can be hard. Last summer I must have sent out two dozen resumes filled out at least a half a dozen applications and still couldn't land a summer job. Some people work places for years and then lose that job. Teachers lose theirs every summer. Anyway, Bethany got a summer job but I couldn't, that meant I had to play Mr. Mom. And parenting is hard. Single parenting is even harder. Personally, I think that men are parentally retarded. It's like we're missing a gene or something. I'm not saying that women have it any easier, but I for one don't feel especially competent in the area.

So when Lonestar came out with their hit song, Beth just looked at me and started laughing. I think she meant to be laughing WITH me, not AT me, but I can never quite tell the difference.

Pampers melt in a Maytag dryer
Crayons go up one drawer higher
Rewind Barney for the fifteenth time
Breakfast six, naps at nine
There's bubble gum in the baby's hair
Sweet potatoes in my lazy chair
Been crazy all day long and it's only Monday Mr. Mom

Not only should you avoid putting darks in with lights, but some darks are cheaper than others, so you can't just put any old purple in with the blues, or you'll be singing the blues. Check all pockets for candy, gum, and toys. Never put anything in the dryer without checking to make sure that you got the stains out. And "Super-Bee" the stuffed toy sent home by the teacher for good "bee-havior" needs to take baths at home in the teacher's washing machine, not ours.

You know, not to give them a free plug, but those Mr. Clean "erasers" really work pretty well on most crayons- on the wall, but you still have to use a lot of elbow-grease. If your kids get a hold of a Sharpie permanent marker and it bleeds through the paper they're drawing on, you'd better hope they were working straight on the terrazzo floor instead of the nice oak table.

I hate Barney. I don't mind the Wiggles or Dora the Explorer. Of course, my favorite is Kim Possible. I think it's because it reminds me a little of the old Scooby Doo show, that and Kim Possible is a cheerleader. The joy of DVDs is that you can just click to the beginning, no waiting. The joy of cable TV is Nickelodeon and the Disney Channel.

Why is it that when I don't have to go to work, they're always up at six, but on schooldays pulling them out of bed is like pulling teeth! Maybe if I tried putting them down for a nap at 9 they'd actually sleep. Waiting till after lunch just leads to a major battle of the wills.

No trouble with bubble gum in hair yet, lollipops a few times. Gum just lands on the carpet in the van. Several times they've decided to play beauty shop and cut their own hair, a couple times with a shaving razor, not just scissors!

Sweet potatoes- now I don't know it that's a Southern thing, or a baby food thing. I've sat down in a wet chair plenty of times. Milk, juice, water, and of course, plenty of potty. My mom used to make us popcorn on Friday nights when we watched Rockford Files when I was a kid, so that's something I wanted to be able to do for my kids. Let me tell ya, they LOVE popcorn. Let me tell ya somethin' else: I don't know what vacuum cleaner you currently using, but Eletralux really sucks.

Thought there was nothing to it Baby, now I know how you feel What I don't know is how you do it!

So, now on those nights when Beth has a meeting or teaches a class, I don't get quite as freaked out, instead I think about how she has to do it every night that I'm gone for a football or basketball game.

Our girls are at this great age. They're at the age where Grace will lean over to Ellie's side of the van and point at her, with her finger inches away. When Ellie protests, Grace defends herself in the age old, big-sibling style,

"What? I'm not touching her- look, I'm not TOUCHING her!"

They've also got great imaginations. Ellie has an imaginary friend she calls "P.J." When I didn't have school one day but Grace did, I took Ellie into Denison to get groceries. She'd behaved herself pretty well so I agreed to take her out to "McDonald's Happy Meal." Of course this was after the Daylight Savings time change so I thought we were going out to lunch at 11:30, but it was more like 10:30 because my watch is broke. At any rate, "P.J." had to come with us.

This was a little hard for me. She wheeled a high chair up to our booth for him and kept talking to him and pretending to wipe his hands after she'd feed him French fries. I'm used to people staring at me because I'm outspoken or I dress goofy. It's new to me to have people staring at me because someone I'm with is talking to people who aren't there.

What ya gonna do? Parenting can be hard.

These are four paintings by Norman Rockwell based on an FDR speech about "the Four Freedoms." I'm planning on writing my weekly column on it this week.
Mallory

During our unit on the Design Element, Value (light & shadows), we enlarged photos using grids like Artist Chuck Close might. Mine make me look like an evil genius, don't you think?
of course, it also makes me look bald.
Mallory

"The Hot Seat," digital image 2004
Mallory

Annual LYF Rake&Run

Pictured are back row; Vacancy Pastor Ed Brandt, Seniors LYF Vice President Grant Kuhlman and LYF TreasurerLee Kuhlman and Sophomore Jeke Goslar. Middle row, Seniors LYF President Lacy Neddermeyer, and LYF Secretary Molly Goslar and Sophomore Jason Kuhlman. In Front; Landscaper Jamie Neddermeyer or Audubon and Melvin Neddermeyer.

LYF Rake & Run
Sunday, November 14th members of St John Lutheran Youth Fellowship met at Melvin and June Neddemeyer's farm to participate in the LYF's annual "Rake-n-Run." Every year high school students from the congregation help cleam up leaves for elderly members of the community.

The day began with lunch and a Bible study based on 1Thesalonians 5:18, "Give thanks in all circumstances." Student considered that serving others is one way of giving thanks, giving thanks by giving back. God doesn't just tell us to be give thanks when we're happy, but under ALL circumstances.

Students then raked the lawns of nine houses, starting on the Southeast side of Charter Oak and working their way to the Northwest. LYF President Lacy Neddermeyer's dad and her brother Jamie helped the crew. Jamie owns his own landscaling business in Audubon. His mower, blower and expertise really sped up the process.

The kids were also joined by Vacancy Pastor Ed Brandt, who brought tarps and fresh experiencing from helping with his home congregation St. Paul, Ute's LYF rake-n-run the week before.

Kids shared the work but also shared plenty of fun, jumping into piles of leaves and determining which brand of rake was most effecient. At the end of the day, homeowners were thankful that their yards were cleaned up and the crew was thankful it was all over so that they could go home and recover.

This Sunday, Novemeber 21st, St. John LYF will host their other annual Fall project, a Community Thanksgiving Dinner. Everyone is invited. The LYF will begin serving at 11 AM in the basement of St John Lutheran Church in Charter Oak. A free-will offering will be collected with matching funds from Thrivent Financial for Lutherans. Turkey, potatoes, vegetables, deserts and Edna Johansen's famous dressing.

Jason Kuhlman prepares to leap into the leaf wagon...
Mallory

Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's the Jase-Man!
Mallory

a SOFT landing! Congratulations, Jason!
Mallory

Religiosity is politically expedient

Matthew 7:15-23
Beware "Conservative-Christian" friends! Religiosity is politically expedient. Don't be surprised if Bush and the Neocons sell you out. For all their talk about "moral values" like gay-marriage bans and overturning Roe v. Wade.

'Be wary of false preachers who smile a lot, dripping with practiced sincerity. Chances are they are out to rip you off some way or other. Don't be impressed with charisma; look for character.

'Knowing the correct password--saying 'Master, Master,' for instance--isn't going to get you anywhere with me. What is required is serious obedience--doing what my Father wills. I can see it now--at the Final Judgment thousands strutting up to me and saying, 'Master, we preached the Message, we bashed the demons, our God-sponsored projects had everyone talking.' And do you know what I am going to say? 'You missed the boat. All you did was use me to make yourselves important. You don't impress me one bit. You're out of here.' ~Matthew 7:15-23 (the Message)

Spelling Study

"I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt "

Why Americans Hate Democrats, A Dialogue - Nice guys finish last. By Richard Thompson Ford

Why Americans Hate Democrats:A Dialogue - Nice guys finish last.
By Richard Thompson Ford

"Bush doesn't propose to 'privatize' Social Security. He proposes to eliminate it and replace it with glorified 401(k) plans the same plans that have kept so many senior citizens working into their golden years after the stock market tanked in 2001. He plans to eliminate Social Security still the most popular federal program in American history. George Bush wants to eliminate Social Security. Say this three times. Now say it every time you speak to the press, no matter what question the reporter asks you."

One nation, handcuffed together

Here's a great editorial from the Minneapolis Star-Tribune:

One nation, handcuffed together

Deborah Ellsworth
November 6, 2004

So the old "Moral Majority" rose up again and swamped the boat this election. With war, global terrorism, unemployment, an elitist health-care system and other serious issues dominating this election, who saw this coming? Who saw this leviathan lurking beneath the surface?

The day after the election, vacuuming furiously while tears of despair ran down my face, I began thinking about the war in Iraq. Clearly this is an unjust war. But what is a just war?
Of course, World War II is always the first one mentioned. Then the next one that seems to come up is our Civil War. Surely, Abraham Lincoln had to fight the war to hold our country together. This has been ingrained in us since our elementary school days.

That's when it struck me: What if Lincoln had just let the South go? What if we now had a country on our southern border made up of the states that formed the Confederacy?
Hundreds of thousands of people wouldn't have died.

OK, the slaves wouldn't have been freed as soon. The Confederacy probably would have been the last holdout country with slaves, but at some point, it would have had to bow to world pressure and give up slavery. In the meantime, perhaps creative Abolitionists in the North would have found ways to make daring raids into the Confederacy, and the underground railroad would have still operated, and ... well, who knows what other methods for freeing the slaves might have arisen?

But think about it. If the South were its own country, then all those people who so desire it could have a Christian theocracy. They could have a country where the Bible is read in schools; where Creationism is taught in science class and evolution is not; where homosexuality would be against the law; where the Internet and Hollywood movies and rap music could be banned by law.

There would be trade relations between the Union of the United States and the Confederacy, and travel arrangements.

Also, evangelical Christians from the U. of the U.S. who desired to live in a Christian theocracy could emigrate to the Confederacy. Likewise, progressive-minded citizens from the South, as well as gays and others who would be persecuted, could immigrate here.
And then, maybe in the 2004 U. of U.S. election, these moral values would have prevailed: tolerance and respect for others; peace and justice; care for our needy citizens; scientific research to advance humankind; and care for the beautiful planet that God gave us.

Yes, I said the God word. I, too, am a Christian: a liberal, progressive Christian who believes that the moral values I just listed would be endorsed by Jesus Christ. And Buddha. And Mohammed. And of course, those dreaded secular humanists, Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin.

Yup, maybe Lincoln should have let the South go. As I understand it, many Southerners consider Yankees foreigners anyway.

Deborah Ellsworth, a teacher, lives in St. Louis Park.

Election result maps

Election result maps

These maps are absolutely fascinating, especially if you're a History major like me.

Purple Mountains Majesty: county by county- please note, all that red on the Great Planes and in the Rocky Mountains, may not have very many people living in them.
Mallory

mallory's milieu

mallory's milieu
this link is to my "umbrella" site. Click there and you have access to all of my other sites.

definition of a milieu

Blue Nude #4, Henri Matisse, cut paper
I guess that like opera, people either love Matisse or hate him. He's always been one of my favorites.
Mallory

Elsie isn't entirely sure what the TV commercials mean by "male enhancement," but she's sure she like it!
Mallory

Eldo didn't even vote, but he was glad to find out that he lives in a "red" state, because all of his favorite college football teams are red.
Mallory

Class: Remember, Dihydrogen Monoxide is an odorless, tasteless chemical that can be deadly if accidently inhaled.
Mallory

A classic from '93
Mallory

Pretty Good Jokes

Pretty Good Jokes

Defying the laws time and space

Well, you had an election two days ago. Did anyone vote in it? Was anyone elected? I only ask because this newspaper is sort of a time machine. See, I’m writing this in the past, my future is your present.

Over a week ago I would’ve predicted that it would be an even tighter race than it was in 2000. I’d also predict that at the time you’re reading this, the election still won’t be decided. I predicted a week ago that it will be contested and that there will be all sorts of allegations of fraud. This is especially scary since if it goes to the Supreme Court again, their decisions may be contested too, especially if Chief Justice Renquest’s poor health leaves him incapacitated.

But then, I tend to be pessimistic about these things. I blame my Lutheran upbringing, hope for the best, but plan for the worst and you’ll be relieved by anything in between.

Here in the comfort of a week ago, I’m afraid that I predict that it doesn’t matter whether you in my future elected Bush or Kerry. Regardless of who won, I predict that the war in Iraq will get worse, there will probably be a draft. Taxes will go up (regardless of who’s elected or what they promised). Terrorists will still hate us. People will still disagree about things like education, abortion, and gay marriage. Health care costs will continue to skyrocket, but inflation on everything else will catch up with it. And, oh yeah, they’ll probably reinstitute the draft.

The pessimist moans, “Well, things couldn’t get any worse,” of course the ever “can-do” optimist cheerily enourages, “oh sure they could!”

I know, I’m just a nattering naybob of negativity, aren’t I. The hardest part of this is that no matter who won last Tuesday, half of you agree with me, am I right? If Kerry won, all my dearly loved Republican friends a frightened that we’re going to Hell in a hand basket and that any minute now all the gay Hollywood terrorist-tolerant elitists are going to outlaw God. But if Bush won, many of my well-meaning progressive friends are planning their escape routes to Canada for when the goose-stepping brown-shirts come knocking on their boarded up doors in order to round them up and burn their books.

There is good news though. No more of those infernal campaign ads for at least another three years.

The optimist says brightly, "This is the best of all possible worlds," whereupon the pessimist sighs, "I'm afraid you're right."

Either way, it’s still a confusing time. Its times like these that we really need to lay down the law. Just remember, we’re a nation of laws.

Newton’s Laws:

I. Any object in motion tends to remain in motion.

Yikes, does that mean things are going to keep going the way they’ve been going?

II. The amount of force depends on the mass times its acceleration.

So does that mean that if we are going to Hell in a hand-basket, Hell’s power depends on our speed and the size of the hand-basket?

III. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.

What is that supposed to mean? Isn’t that the “law of the jungle?” You know, “whatever they do to you, do it back to them, only double.” Yikes. Does that mean that the lying and cheating and dirty tricks (and negative campaign ads) are going to continue even now that the election is over? We need to change the laws.

The laws of thermodynamics describe some of the fundamental truths observed in our Universe.

I. Conservation of Energy. This law suggests that energy can be transferred from one system to another in many forms. However, it can’t be created nor destroyed. Thus, the total amount of energy available in the Universe is constant.

Does that include negative energy? How much energy was wasted on all those campaign ads? As much as the money wasted on ads for drugs to help with acid reflux disease and sexual dysfunction?

II. This law also predicts that the entropy always increases with time. Entropy is the measure of the disorder or randomness of energy and matter in a system. Because of the second law of thermodynamics both energy and matter in the Universe are becoming less useful as time goes on. Perfect order in the universe occurred only in the instant after creation, when energy and matter and all of the forces of the Universe were unified.

In other words, “things fall apart.” This side of Heaven, nothing will ever be perfect, we have to use them up the way they are, you can’t put the toothpaste back in the tube, or everybody’s favorite “---- happens.”

III. The third law of thermodynamics states that if all the kinetic energy in the universe could be stopped, a state called “absolute zero” would occur. Absolute zero results in a temperature of 0 Kelvin or -273.15° Celsius.

That’s -523.4 Fahrenheit. Brrrr. Well, the Red Sox finally won the World Series, that hasn’t happened since 1918. At least if we are going to Hell in a hand basket, it’s probably froze over.

There you have it. Being too legalistic gets you no where. Speaking as someone from your past, I hope that whichever President you picked doesn’t turn into one of those real law-and-order types.

Just remember, when gravity becomes the law, only outlaws will levitate.

Concordia Art Dept.

Concordia students visit Europe

I really want to promote Concordia University, Nebraska's Art Department. It is simply one of the best in the nation.

Go ahead and gloat

"In a Democracy you get the government you deserve."
~unknown

Am I dissapointed in the election? Naturally. But I appreciate what Tom Brokaw had to say before he went off the air after covering the returns. He reminded us that Kerry isn't going to jail, and there are no tanks in the streets. No matter how emotional this campaign was, America remains stable.

One good thing about this election is that if America isn't perfect in 2008, Republicans won't be able to blame anyone but themselves.

"There are two tragedies in life: one is not to get your heart's desire.
The other is to get it."
~George Bernard Shaw

It was awesome to see what high turn outs there were on both sides. Bush spin-doctors are quick to point out that he received more votes than any President in history, of course what they don't tell you is that so did Kerry!

So, we'll see, won't we? I suspect that there are more "moral issues" than just abortion and homosexuality that will begin to wear away at America's patience, like poverty and corporate corruption. Oh yeah, and war.

"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to have for lunch."
~Benjamin Franklin

"A government that robs Peter to pay Paul
can always depend on the support of Paul."
~George Bernard Shaw

SO, believe it or not, I have hope. Hope because you always have to hit bottom before you get help. Hope because Democracy is all about dynamic tension. Our political system, like God's universe, seeks equilibrium, balance of interests. Because America is always changing.

Hope that just because a majority of Americans thought that we shouldn't switch horses in mid stream, you also can never step in the same stream twice.

"Remember, Democracy never lasts long. It soon
wastes, exhausts and murders itself! There was never
a Democracy that did not commit suicide."
~Samuel Adams

That doesn't mean I'll shut up and crawl into a corner and wait for my countrymen to wake up to our need for change.

A member of the minority owes it to his country to be a member of the opposition, otherwise there would be no dynamic tension.

George W Bush once said, ""If this were a dictatorship, it'd be a heck of a lot easier, just so long as I'm dictator." It's easy to blow that off as a joke, but fascism is no joke.

"America will never be destroyed from the outside. If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves."
~Abraham Lincoln

We have three distinct branches of Federal Government to offer a system of checks and balances. We have layers of municipal, county, state, regional, and federal government to do the same thing. Now that Bush's party has control of all three branches and a majority of state houses and governorships, it is more important than ever that Democrats not just roll over and alow America to become a one-party system.

Yes, the Democrats need to listen to and respond to the values of the majority in spite of always having been the party who protected the rights of the minorities. But, my dear Republican friends and families, please, PLEASE, you also need to not turn a blind eye to abuses of our leaders just because they claim to share so many of your values.

"But you must remember, my fellow-citizens, that eternal vigilance by the people is the price of liberty, and that you must pay the price if you wish to secure the blessing. It behooves you, therefore, to be watchful in your States as well as in the Federal Government."
~Andrew Jackson, Farewell Address, March 4, 1837

"Eternal vigilance is the price of liberty."
~Wendell Phillips, (1811-1884), abolitionist, orator and columnist for The Liberator, in a speech before the Massachusetts Antislavery Society in 1852

Thou shalt not kill, part two

Thou shalt not kill, part two
'We kill at every step, not only in wars, riots, and executions. We kill when we close our eyes to poverty, suffering, and shame. In the same way all disrespect for life, all hard-heartedness, all indifference, all contempt is nothing else than killing. With just a little witty skepticism we can kill a good deal of the future in a young person. Life is waiting everywhere, the future is flowering everywhere, but we only see a small part of it and step on much of it with our feet.'
~Hermann Hesse, German poet and novelist. "

"21"You have heard that it was said to the people long ago, 'Do not murder,and anyone who murders will be subject to judgment.' 22But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca, ' is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, 'You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell."
~Matthew 5:21-22

Is anyone ever truly prepared to kill? | csmonitor.com

Thou shalt not kill

20% Maximum rate of U.S. soldiers who shot to kill while under fire during World War II

55% Firing rate in the Korean War, due to "improved" psychological conditioning by the military

95% Firing rate in the Vietnam War

16% Rate of U.S. veterans from the Iraq war who suffer from depression or post-traumatic stress disorder


Source: Christian Science Monitor

Doonesbury@Slate - The Strawpoll

Doonesbury@Slate - The Strawpoll

Chaos prevails. Weeks drag by as armies of red and blue lawyers duke it out across the country. We become the land of many Floridas -- 2000 redux, only much worse.

Books For Soldiers - Care packages for the mind.

Books For Soldiers - Care packages for the mind.
Hey this is really cool! What if everyone who found out about Books For Soldiers by landing on my Column site sent Bibles and devotional books like Portals of Prayer, Daily Bread, or Upper Room or Guideposts?

Mission - Iraq Veterans Against the War

Mission - Iraq Veterans Against the War
Interesting, soldiers serving now are standing up, doing the patriotic thing and opposing this war just like men like John Kerry opposed Vietnam after they came home from their tours of duty.

"Nobody sees a flower really; it is so small. We haven't time, and to see takes time—like to have a friend takes time."
~Georgia O'keefe
Mallory

"Marks on paper are free - free speech - press - pictures all go together I suppose."

~Georgia O'Keefe





Mallory

Sojourners: Christians for Justice and Peace

Here is an excellent article from an awesome magazineSojourners: Christians for Justice and Peace

Christian in the middle
by Linda Mele
Apparently, the only friends I have who are comfortable sending me bulk e-mails are conservative Christian Republicans. In this election year, I have received countless right-leaning e-mails that have contained long lists of the sins of Democrats without acknowledging that Republicans, too, have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. I was dismayed at the un-Christlike nature of the e-mails, but more dismayed that people I know, love, and respect thought I would find them amusing, fair, or enlightening.

I am Christian and I am nonpartisan, because I believe God is nonpartisan. Therefore, I had assumed that my centrist views would have allowed me to cultivate a diverse group of friends from across the political spectrum, but I was wrong. I spend a lot of time in Christian worship and in Christian activities, and therefore have acquired a preponderance of Christian friends who are statistically more likely to be conservative Republicans than anything else. Therefore, people - even people who know me well - assume I am a conservative Republican, too.

Why is this? Why does the whole society, Christian and non-Christian, assume that an active, devout Christian must espouse the party doctrine of the GOP in all circumstances? If Jesus returned to earth, would he necessarily be a Republican, join the NRA, lobby for pro-business interests and looser environmental laws, and then go duck hunting with Dick Cheney to celebrate victory on all of the above? And if we're supposed to support George W. Bush because he shares our faith, then what of Jimmy Carter? Shouldn't we also have been a big supporter of his? When did Christians cut an exclusive deal with the Republican Party? I must have missed the memo.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not in love with the Democratic Party either. I am troubled by the morals and logic that give us "Save the Whales," "Save the Rainforest," "Save the Guy on Death Row," but go ahead and kill the unborn child. They support life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness gained at the expense of another life, masked with smug confidence in a contradictory value system. Adding to my consternation is that the mere expression of my opinion that there is a moral imperative on the question of abortion results in my being labeled intolerant. Liberal Democrats claim to be the sole arbiters of tolerance. Yet if you are not for them, you are against them. You are "anti-abortion," not "pro-life." Claiming that people who don't agree with you are your enemies is the precise definition of intolerance. But be careful about breaking this news to liberal Democrats. If they learn that they are equally as intolerant as conservative Republicans, it will cause a rift in their self-image, and they will implode the next time they look in a mirror.

As a Christian in the middle, I find myself blazing my own trail through the political scene, using only my faith as a guide. My faith tells me that Jesus would want to save everyone and everything. Saving is important to him. It's a Messiah thing. The unborn child who has the potential to live, the murderer who has the potential to repent, the things in nature that represent the Eden that God made for us and will give us again. All of these, he wants to save. Sometimes people are saved through love and compassion. Sometimes they are saved through tough consequences for wrong choices. I believe the compassion of the left and the morals of the right are not mutually exclusive and have already been shown to exist together in one great life, that of Jesus Christ. He is the divine Centrist, the alpha and the omega, at once liberal and conservative. He gives to us while he demands from us, his grace for our faith. He has great plans for us, but he expects great things from us as well. This is what I try to model in my own life.

But clearly I'm not doing a very good job of it, because many people are under the impression that I am on one side, a political side, that takes preference over spiritual issues. I am troubled by the label. I do not think my life reflects the label. But yet, I am branded.

I am not a Democrat. And I am not a Republican. I am a Christian, and I belong to the Party of God.

Linda Mele is a construction manager for nonprofit organizations and churches, and is an active member of Lutheran Church of the Good Shepherd in Torrance, California, where she lives with her husband, Stephen, and two daughters, Emma and Laura.

Interactive Electoral Map

Interactive Electoral Map: "Interactive Electoral Map"
Be your own strategist. Click on a state to see how winning it would effect the election.

NPR : Gracie Allen's 'Surprise' White House Run

Let's revive the 'Surprise Party'
NPR : Gracie Allen's 'Surprise' White House Run: "in the 1940 presidential race, comedienne Gracie Allen ran as a less-than-serious candidate. We hear her read from the platform of her Surprise Party."

by Senior Justin Tedford
Mallory

Pumpkin guts! Doesn't this just gross you out?!