Wild Bill for President

It was just me and this rattlesnake out on the desert, and I won the staring contest.

Omygosh! I almost forgot, I came to Denison just so I could get my picture taken with that famous columnist and cartoonist from around here, where is that guy?

Finally, a voter with a bigger head than me!

I'm gonna miss Ted so much after Jan 3, that i think I could just cry!


Okay, so I didn't have as much luck as a photographer as I did with Obama last Spring. But I did have quite a day. 10:45 at Denison Town Hall with Governor Bill, lunch with a former mascot and a former cheerleader, both much smarter than me, and then 1:30 at the Fire House for Hillary. No, she didn't break my camera, and no I don't dislike her so much that I refuse to take her picture- my batteries just died.

Maybe next week when I have more time and I'm not falling asleep at the keyboard, I'll write about it. For now I'll just say that I'm more at ease if she HAS to get the nomination, but I am more impressed with Governor Richardson than ever, and I always have been. Still not 200% decided/committed yet- hopefully I will be by next Thursday when I go caucus.

Both were very interesting events. Richardson's may have been more what Iowa is supposed to be about, Clinton's was more of a production- but while she's no Bill Clinton, she is much better on the stump than she's been in the debates. Bill Richardson may be no Bill Clinton either, but he seems much more consistent from a town hall meeting like this to the debates to his commercials, web messages, and Sunday morning talk circuit. That may be one of the things I appreciate about him. That makes him seem genuine and makes him at least seem to have integrity.

But please, even Mike Gravel or Dennis Kucinich would be better than any of the Republican candidates out there. Dodd and Biden are every bit as good as Edwards and Obama. Hard decision, but that's a nice problem to have! Now if we could just field a decent candidate to run against Steve King for Congress!


Here are a few more candidates coming to the area between now and Caucus Day if you're interested.
Jill Biden (Wife of Joe Biden): December 28 Cronk's Cafe =12:00 Noon

Chris Dodd: December 29 Cronk's Cafe = 1:30 P.M.

John Edwards: December 30 Cronk's Cafe = 4:00 P.M.

Changing the direction of the whole world has never been so easy

Amazingly, many Iowans have never attended a presidential caucus. Some are apathetic about politics, others are too busy, but some are intimidated. They somehow think that they don’t know how to caucus or that it will be too hard.

Iowa’s first in the nation caucus is different than a primary vote and it does take longer than just punching a card or flipping a lever and leaving, but it’s not hard or anything to be afraid of. Caucusing is easy, fun and can be very enlightening.

Everyone who can, should go out of their way to give it a try. Iowa has a massive amount of influence on the national elections- it really is disproportionate to our population and our economic power. Voters, media, and strategists all over the country will be watching us closely next week. Experts think that independent voters in New Hampshire will especially be influenced by the results of Iowa’s January 3 caucus.

This week, the PRESS is publishing times and locations where you can go to caucus.

In some ways, a caucus is a comfortable, informal gathering where you get together and talk about who you think would be the best leader and why.

One thing that makes it even easier, is that Republicans are only with Republicans and Democrats are only with Democrats, so you don’t have to worry about those really awkward disagreements that you’re always afraid are going to turn into full fledged arguments and ruin the night.

It’s always easier to discuss politics, even to argue policy issues and philosophies when the people you’re debating with pretty much agree with you on most of the same basic principles. So caucusing helps you know you’re not crazy because there are actually people who think the same way you do- at least on some issues.

Once everybody gets settled in whatever room you’re meeting in, your precinct chair begins the night by giving a brief introduction to caucusing, and then everyone divides up into groups depending one which candidate they support.

Once in their area, each group counts off for the precinct chair to determine how many people were in the room.

The precinct chair then divides the number of caucus members for each candidate by the appropriate number to figure out viability.

The precinct can send a limited number of delegates to the party’s county convention. If the caucus isn’t unanimous, they will send delegates representing each of the viable candidates.

Lets say a precinct gets five delegates. The candidate with the most people caucusing for them might get 3, the runner up could get two.

The groups representing viable candidates try to convince loners and people in smaller groups, to throw their support toward one of the more viable candidates. This is a chance for people in the caucus to move to another candidate, and for nonviable candidates to choose others. This could last half an hour.

To wrap up, the precinct chair takes a final tally and may answer questions from people about caucusing, the county, state and national conventions.

One of the most wonderful aspects of caucusing is that it can be a gateway to participation in your party. Caucus attendants are invited to serve as delegates or alternates to the county convention. You can also get to know some of the people who are active in the party in your area, you may also find out ways in which you can get more involved if you’d like to.

You get to know the other people who share your party affiliation. You may be surprised by which of your neighbors share many of you concerns and convictions.

Participatory democracy begins with you. Few countries in the world offer the opportunities for direct involvement in the selection of their leaders. Iowa does it earlier and better than any other state in the union.

It’s a phenomenal privilege- not just a right or a responsibility. It’s easy and can even be fun. You have to be nuts not to try it. It’s worth getting a babysitter for, or taking off of work for, or missing that basketball game for. See you there.


Ted Mallory lives in Charter Oak and teaches at Boyer Valley Schools in Dunlap. 'Ted's Column' has appeared weekly in the Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper since 2002. You can see all of Ted's cartoons, some even in color at http://tedstoons.blogspot.com

The Three-in-Pink say,

Historical Holiday Trivia; secret meaning of silly song exposed

I always found “The Twelve Days of Christmas” to be one of the more annoying Christmas songs. If you’re like me, you may enjoy many of the parodies like Jeff Foxworthy’s red neck one or Bob and Doug McKenzie’s 1980’s hit.

Turns out, some scholars believe that the original song represents the twelve days from Christmas until the Epiphany, January 6th (December 25th until January 5th).

Epiphany is usually celebrated as the time the Three Wise Men brought gifts to the Christ child. Because of this, many cultures don’t exchange gifts on Christmas, they wait until Epiphany. There used to be a tradition in some countries to give Christmas gifts for each of the Twelve Days of Christmas.

Just like with Christmas, by the time of the renaissance, Europe and Scandinavia cultures had combined the twelve days with pagan festivals celebrating new year’s. Usually the idea was to try to drive away evil spirits.

The Twelfth Night is January 5th, the last “day of the Christmas” before Epiphany This usually meant a big feast and a Christmas decoration removing party. Fruit cake was originally “King’s cake,” bejeweled with candy, spices, and nuts, this perennial Christmas doorstop of a gift represented the expensive gifts of the Magi.

The "true love" mentioned in the 12 Days of Christmas is not boyfriend or girlfriend, it represents God Himself. He gives gifts each day that represent aspects of the Christian faith. Some people think that the song was originally a way to teach children their catechism lessons.

On the 1st day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

A Partridge in a Pear Tree
The partridge in a pear tree is Jesus the Christ, who’s birthday is Christmas day. He’s symbolized by a mother hen who shelters us under her wing and whom we follow. Remember the opening of the Partidge Family TV show in the ‘70’s? (Luke 13:34)

On the 2nd day of Christmas…

Two Turtle Doves
The Old and New Testaments

On the 3rd day…
Three French Hens
The three virtues that Allan Jackson sings about in his song about 9/11; Faith, Hope, and Love (1 Corinthians 13:13). When I was a kid, I always thought it was three French HORNS, which would also be a nice gift and unlike chickens, you wouldn’t have to feed them.

4th day... Four Calling Birds
The Four Gospels: Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.

FIVE GOLD RINGS! Sing it LOUD.
The first five books of the Old Testament, known as the Torah or the Pentateuch: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. They kind of give a background of how messed up humanity is, therefore needing a savior.

6th day… Six Geese A-laying
The six days of creation (Genesis 1). Think of the planet Earth as the goose that lays the golden eggs. If we take better care of her than we’ve been doing, she’ll keep producing. If we get greedy and just cut her open for the eggs inside, no new eggs. Could be why more and more people are acknowledging the veracity of global warming.

7th day... Seven Swans A-swimming
The seven gifts of the Holy Spirit: prophecy, ministry, teaching, exhortation, giving, leading, and compassion (Romans 12:6-8 and 1 Corinthians 12:8-11). Kind of like those practical presents; food processors and power drills, these aren’t worth much if you just play with them or show them off. You have to use them. That way they become gifts that keep on giving.

8th day... Eight Maids A-milking
The eight Beatitudes: Blessed are the poor in spirit, those who mourn, the meek, those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake. (Matthew 5:3-10). Whatever happened to those peacemakers anyway? Probably out in the garage with that drill, or up in the attic with the fruitcake.

9th day...Nine Ladies Dancing
No, these aren’t those ladies at the club by the airport with all the poles. These are the nine fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22). You can always tell a tree by it’s fruit. How fruity are you?

10th day...Ten Lords A-leaping
The ten commandments: I’m running out of room so I’ll let you look them up yourself (Exodus 20:1-17).

11th day...Eleven Pipers Piping
The eleven faithful apostles- minus #12, Judas Iscariot of course.

On the 12th day of Christmas my true love gave to me...
Twelve Drummers Drumming
The twelve points of doctrine in the Apostles' Creed: 1) I believe in God, the Father… 2) Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord. 3) …conceived by the Holy Spirit and born of the virgin Mary. 4) He suffered under Pilate, crucified, died, buried. Descended into hell 5) Third day rose again. Ascended into heaven, seated at the right hand of God. 6) Will come again to judge the living and the dead. 7) Holy Spirit, 8) Church, 9) communion of saints, 10) forgiveness of sins, 11) resurrection of the body, 12) life everlasting.

more morning frost

See all 23 of these images, download them to use as wallpaper or a screensaver.
http://tmal.multiply.com/photos/album/75/Wintry_Morn

Wintery Morn

It was about 2ºF this morning when I took these. I don't know which I was more worried about, my camera or my hands. Brrr. Why isn't that bird in the second one somewhere South?

No nativity in DC this year

There will be no Nativity Scene in the United States Congress this year.

The Supreme Court has ruled that there cannot be a Nativity Scene in the United States Capitol this Christmas season.

This isn't for any religious reason. They simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the nation's Capitol.

There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

Romney will be whatever you want him to be

Recently, former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney gave a speech trying to calm fears of the religious right has about his Mormonism.

It’s unfortunate that he should even have had to make the speech.

Many people thought that John Kennedy laid this issue to rest when he ran as the first Roman Catholic presidential candidate. J.F.K.’s words in 1960 are just as pertinent today; “There are the real issues which should decide this campaign. And they are not religious issues--for war and hunger and ignorance and despair know no religious barriers.”

No one seemed to mind in 2000 when Connecticut Senator Joe Lieberman, a Jew, ran for his party’s nomination. But Romney wasn’t just have to assuage concerns of fundamentalist Christians who have paranoid suspicions of the Church of Ladder Day Saints. He was trying to sell himself as the best choice of “Conservative-Christian” Evangelicals.

In primary elections candidates try to appeal to their supposed bases. Hillary Clinton wants Democrats to think she is anti-war and pro-middle class, when really she is as pro big business and supported the initial invasion of Iraq as any Republican.

While governor, Romney was pro-choice and pro- gay marriage, and pro-immigrant. Now as a candidate for the Republican party’s political nomination, he’s suddenly pro-life, anti-gay, anti-immigrant. Much to the chagrin of fellow G.O.P. candidate John McCain- Romney also seems to be pro-torture.

I would think that being so progressive in Massachusetts and being a bigger “flip-flopper” than Bill Clinton and John Kerry combined would be reasons for real conservatives not to vote for him.

I consider myself a passionate believer. My faith in Jesus and my relationship with him constitute the core of my being. Be that as it may, the fact that Romney is so shamelessly pandering to the religious right is a bigger reason for me not to vote for him than his Mormonism.

Like it or, the United States is not a theocracy, it is a pluralistic- if not secular democracy. And that is as is should be. Our founding fathers deliberately wanted to avoid the kinds of conflicts that kept Europe mired in perpetual war for centuries.

After Christian Europeans were done killing Muslims in the crusades, they began killing each other. First Eastern Orthodox and Catholic, then Catholic and Protestants, then Protestants took revenge on Catholics and so on. Is it any wonder that atheists so often blame wars on religion?

Those first Pilgrims that came to Massachusetts looking for religious freedom? Were being persecuted by King James- yeah, as in the King James Bible. And while many of those founding fathers may indeed have been “Christians” as fundamentalist right-wingers are so quick to boast, they were also enlightened enough to know that no one denomination or sect should have too much influence lest they might behave very un Christ-like toward all the others.

Maybe when it comes down to it, perhaps our policy on a candidate’s religion should be “don’t ask-don’t tell.”

In the interest of self disclosure, I happen to be a Lutheran. As a child I attended and as an adult I taught in Lutheran schools, but I’ve always believed in the separation of church and state. I believe that when he held up a coin with Caesar’s face on it and told His disciples to “render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s and unto God what is God’s,” Jesus may have been saying that He does too.

As Kennedy said in his speech over forty years ago, “I believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute--where no Catholic prelate would tell the President (should he be Catholic) how to act, and no Protestant minister would tell his parishioners for whom to vote--where no church or church school is granted any public funds or political preference--and where no man is denied public office merely because his religion differs from the President who might appoint him or the people who might elect him.”

---

WEB EXTRA!
Above was the second version of this column. In the first one, I pointed out my personal concerns about Mormonism and said that from my understanding, it was a religion distinct from Christianity and that Romney is being deceitful by giving people the impression that he's a Christian.

I made it sound like Romney's faith is a reason not to vote for him, but then I end up saying that faith shouldn't be a reason to not vote for someone- which was one of the points he made in his speech. Besides the fact that I should be trying to persuade the entire audience of something, not alienate a large segment of it.

I have no doubt that many Mormons are unaware of their church's deeper doctrines and that they believe in the same true Jesus that Christians do- the LDS church after all, is notorious for it's secrecy, and changing it's official positions for the sake of legal and political expedience.

They taught that minorities were the inferior and damned children of Cain, now they claim to accept people of color. They practiced polygamy and the subjugation of women, but now promote themselves as pro-family.

Of course- The pre-reformation Church perpetrated all kinds of atrocities in Jesus' name, Catholics have the inquisition, Martin Luther was a pretty flagrant anti-Semite, Once the pilgrims got their religious liberty in New England, they proceeded to deny everyone else religious freedom (remember the Salem Witch trials?)... it goes on and on. No World religion or Christian denomination is immune. That's what we Lutherans call "original sin." We're all full of fear and hate.

I guess I still have lots of theological skepticism about Mormonism and trepidations about the possibility of a Mormon President, but that doesn't mean I should recklessly disparage Romney for being Mormon, or every single member of the LDS church.

Will Lutherans and Episcopalians refuse to vote for Mike Huckabee because he’s a Baptist? Or for Rudy Guliani because he’s Catholic? Or for Obama because he’s a member of the United Church of Christ, or for Senators Clinton or Edwards because they’re Methodists?

There's an old joke that goes like this; Guy dies, goes to Heaven, St. Peter gives him a tour. Through one door he hears this wonderful Gospel music, "Who's in there?" he asks, "Oh those are all the AME believers." A ways down the hall he hears shouting "AMENS" and "Hallelujahs!" "In there are the Pentecostals," Peter explains. As they pass another door he smells incense and hear sort of a droning of mumbles and chants. "who's that?" the man asks, "Greek Orthodox," replies Peter. A little further down the hall everything is silent, the man starts to ask St. Peter about it and Peter quickly puts his finger to his lips and whispers- "Shhh- those are the Lutherans, they think they're the only ones up here."

I googled this joke and it turns out that almost every demnomination hads their own version, including Mormons. Point is, we're all capable of tremendous bigotry.

The Lutheran college I attended was Missouri Synod and frankly, there was worse discrimination against kids who belonged to the Evangelical Lutheran Church than of non Lutherans.

I have to be theologically clear here.

• Jesus said in John 14:6 "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
  
• Orthodox ("orthodox" as in mainstream, not as in Greek Orthodox) Christianity recognizes the Apostle's and Nicean Creeds and does not recognize the Book of Mormon, John warns us in Revelation 22:18-19 "If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this book. And if anyone takes words away from this book of prophecy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book."
• But Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 12:3 that "no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, "Jesus be cursed," and no one can say, "Jesus is Lord," except by the Holy Spirit."
• Romney did say that he believes that "Jesus is the Son of God and the savior of the world." Maybe that's something, of course if what I've been taught in the Lutheran church about Mormonism is true, he also thinks that Lucifer is Jesus' brother and that anyone can become god of their own planet if they're a good enough Mormon...

Guess this is why polite people aren't supposed to talk about sex, politics or religion. No matter what you say, you're bout to offend SOMEONE.

---

Want to have some fun? Check out BeliefNet's "God-o-Meter," supposedly it "scientifically measures factors such as rate of God-talk, effectiveness—saying God wants a capital gains tax cut doesn't guarantee a high rating—and other top-secret criteria."

Mal • Toons

Mal • Toons

All new- nothing but my cartoons. Come see

Mal • Toons

Mal • Toons
Want to just see my cartoons and not be bothered by my column, or other people's cartoons? Click here

Sports Photojournalism

Oh yeah, some nights you can't get your stupid camera settings right or your flash to go off. But some nights, you da man!

More true today than 20 years ago

Category:	Books
Genre:	Literature & Fiction
Author:	George Orwell

Wow. This was good. The last time I read this book, I think it was 1984.
At that time, I saw it merely as some weird science fiction thing that fortunately hadn't come true. Of course, my English teacher at the time tried to help us see how it was about conformity.

Two things motivated me to give it another look. Someone said that it was a brilliant political satire. SATIRE, I thought, satires are funny. Okay, you know how people imagine different actor's voices as different characters when they read a book? I thought I'd try to imagine what this book would be like if it were a movie made by the Coen Brothers or Tim Burton. (I figured that Woody Allen or Mel Brooks was a little too silly). It helped, especially early on when Winston Smith's life is so bleak and lonely.

The other thing that encouraged me to read it was when a friend suggested a cartoon idea to me- (see below) I just figured he was referring to the illegal wire taps and email phishing, but it it SO much more than that- the propaganda, the use and abuse of the media, TORTURE, and the psychological tricks of perpetual war. Wow. It is really frightening.

The first part of this book is bleak and depressing, the second part is an exciting combination of political thriller and romance. The third part is almost as surreal and existential as a Jean Paul Sarte play.

What is truly frightening is not the idea of this book being somehow prophetic, or of how it features many of the kinds of ideologies and tactics of the current administration, what is really scary- and shaming, is that this isn't just a satire of Socialism or post WWII Brittan or 1940's America, or the NAZIs or the Soviets or the cold war, it isn't just a satire about conformity- and it is, by the way. It occurred to me that John Hughes or somebody could rip off the basic plot and turn it into a movie about how miserable high school can be. It's not just a warning about how society or governments could evolve. What it is is a searing commentary on human nature. Very much in line with the political philosophy of Thomas Hobbes. We are all oppressors and followers. We are all capable of torture or betrayal. That's the frightening part.

If you read this and really take it seriously, you will be bound to become skeptical of any politician- regardless or party or promise. You will treasure and appreciate you rights, freedoms and your relationships. And you just might be a little less comfortable undressing with the TV on. I don't have a web-cam on my computer. Do you?


See you in the place where there is no darkness. (or room 101, whichever).
Read more of Mr. Mallory's book reviews at http://tmal.multiply.com/reviews

Fun with camera settings

Yes, those are cheerleaders

Iowa's Senator Grassley: the people's angel

My cartoon for the Dec. 13 Mapleton PRESS

Boy, I was racking my brain for an idea this week. Usually I try to get done the Thursday before the cartoon is supposed to run. This one came to me driving home from school Thursday night. But I was panicky because I was too tired and busy with my kids to draw anything that night and I never imagined I'd ever be able to manage it before school since I have hall monitor duty this week. Thank God for small blessings because we had a 2 hour late start for snow.

I was still anxious. I've only drawn Senator Grassley one time before and never thought I could ever replicate it. He has such an amazing face. But I think I pulled it off. I'm afraid I made Creflo Dollar look a little too much like Supreme Court Justice Clarance Thomas, which is too bad because Dollar is a really handsome guy. Benny Hinn usually looks friendlier in real life, but oh well. And frankly, I think I absolutely nailed the Joel Osteen.

Hot issue. Gotta confess, I sometimes like to listen to Bishop T.D. Jakes and Robert Shueler- but I never send them money. I love Rick Warren, but I think that he's actually on the up and up, unlike these other guys. I really worry about my friends and family who watch Osteen all the time, but whatchya gonna do but pray for 'em?

Annual Christmas Exclusive

Mapleton readers may not have been aware that since this column has appeared in the now absorbed Schleswig and Charter Oak-Ute papers I have been privileged to be able to obtain an exclusive annual interview with a seasonal celebrity. This year I received a phone call from the North Pole during my free period at school the last week in November. Here now is a transcript of that conversation:

TM: Feliz Navidad, Kris

SC: Mele Kalikimaka, Ted

TM: Kris, I’m excited about this year’s interview because it will be published on your birthday, December 6!

SC: Ho Ho, well, I’ll be busy leaving little presents in children's shoes as "Sinterklaas" in Belgium and the Netherlands on that day. But I will have visited Charter Oak a couple of days before that.

TM: Yes, and I’d like to take the opportunity to thank all of the businesses and volunteers who make that night possible. I know my kids always love it. Our two year old has been telling me for weeks that she’s not afraid of you anymore, but I guess we’ll see that night if she musters the courage to actually sit on your lap.

SC: Bells will be ringin', children singin' All will be merry and bright!

TM: Let’s get down to brass tacks, shall we? You’re a resident, is it true that global warming is melting the polar ice cap?

SC: We’re certainly doing out part as far as Claus Conglomerated goes. We’ve switched over almost entirely to solar and wind energy instead of wood burning, but I’ve got to tell you, many of the elves do miss the ambiance, but they’ll get over it. I never have been one to ever use fossil fuels, frankly. We are currently looking into some polar bear relocation programs, but we’ve always been about gift distribution, not animal rehabilitation. However, it’s principally a matter of logistics, and after all, we already take care of herds of reindeer, so it isn’t too much of a stretch.

TM: What about all that coal?

SC: First of all, I’ve never burned it, I only put it in “naughty” stockings, and candidly, I’ve been pretty lenient the last couple of decades on that score. Be that as it may, some of the elves have been working on alternatives, including rocks, spit-wads, and of course marshmallow “snowman poop,” ho ho!

TM: What’s the best way to make sure you stay off the naughty list?

SC: Ho Ho, just hang your stockings and say your prayers! Then, when you hear those sleigh bells jingle jangle, Oh what a beautiful sight- just jump in bed and cover your head, ‘cause that means I’m on my way that night!

TM: How do you feel about all the talk about a “war on Christmas?”

SC: Look, who’s kidding who, and who’s declaring war on whom? Christmas is a phenomenon that is too huge to be damaged somehow by political or cultural tensions. Christmas transcends contention. Personally, I suspect that anyone who thinks there’s a war on Christmas is just trying to get attention for themselves by stirring up anxiety.

TM: What about those who say that it should be reserved as a sacred, religious observance?

SC: Listen, people were celebrating the solstice and plenty of pagan pageantry long before Jesus’ birthday, and Hanukkah took place almost 200 years before that Silent Night too. So what if you have people wanting to add Kwanza or Ramadan too? I know Jesus, and I know that He certainly doesn’t need anyone to defend Him or fight for him. First of all, He’s got that omnipotent thing going for him, secondly, He’s very humble. He always puts others before Himself. The reason He deserves all the glory is that He’s not a glory-hound. Read Philippians chapter 2 if you don’t believe me.

TM: What do you say to people who think that you seem to compete with the Christ child? Even eclipse Him?

SC: Hey, I’m so devout; I even fasted twice a week when I was a nursing baby! I’ve never asked anyone to worship me and I’m not even looking for veneration for myself. I was a young priest during the persecution of Christians under the Roman Emperors Diocletian and Maximian. As Bishop, oversaw the demolition of several pagan temples including the temple of Artemis. Her birthday was supposed to be on December 6, that’s why they made that day a Christian feast day in my honor. I was at the Council of Nicaea. Maybe you’ve heard of the Nicene Creed? I lived four years outside of Bethlehem on a pilgrimage. Somebody think I’m not religious enough? Bring it on.

If people want to get in a huff about Christmas not being about Jesus’ birth anymore, they need to take a look at their MasterCard and Visa bills. Don’t blame me. I’m about interceding on behalf of children, sailors, and the wrongly accused- not crass consumerism.

No, I never died for anybody’s sins, but I spent my whole life and most of the afterlife working for the one who did. So quit trying to use me as some kind of “wedge issue.”

TM: There you have it folks, he doesn't care if you're rich or poor he loves you just the same. Santa Claus knows we're all God’s children and that makes everything right.

SC: Ho Ho, So fill your hearts with Christmas cheer. Peace on earth will come to all if we just follow the light so lets give thanks to the Lord above, and I’ll see you on Christmas night!


Many of Santa's quotes are from Gene Autry, Oakley Haldeman's 1947 song,"Here comes Santa Claus."
'Ted's Column' has appeared weekly in the Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper since 2002. You can see all of Ted's cartoons at http://tmal.multiply.com

Playing with Blogger banners

I decided to spruce up a couple of my other blogs for the holidays. Pretty sweet, eh?