Thursday, February 21, 2008

Race for Second Banana Begins


Last Tuesday, February 19th was the Wisconsin Primary. I have a good friend who teaches Social Studies in Wisconsin who wrote before then to shoot the breeze about politics.

“I would imagine it's about time to start placing bets on the Democratic and G.O.P tickets. McCain and Romney seem really grouchy with each other so I don't think they can work together. How about a McCain/ Huckabee ticket?

Obama and Clinton would be a powerful combo but I don't think they'd do well together either. How about an Obama/Edwards ticket? Do you think that with Edwards' populist bent and Obama's fresh ‘outsider’ reputation that this combo could work? Do you think he'd consider Kucinich or Jon Stewart?”

Well, the day I wrote this, Mitt Romney came out and officially endorsed John McCain. I don’t know if he’s fishing for a spot on the ticket or not. I had figured he had got out when he did so that he could run again in 2012.

Conventional wisdom has McCain/Guliani in an all 'Hawk' ticket, although McCain/Huck would certainly bring in the Southern and "Evangelical" vote. Either way, "Mr. Smooth" Romney would be left out in the cold. And in the weeks since Super Tuesday, Huckabee has been pretty adamant that he’s not giving up and that he expects a miraculous win.

Some pundits have thought that he’s trying to force McCain to make him the V.P. News flash Huck, with a temper like McCain’s I wouldn’t try to force him to do anything.

Is there a chance of a "DREAM Team" on the Democratic side? Hillarack or Oballary? I don' think that there's anyway that Hillary accepts the number two post. For her this isn't about transforming the country, it's about personal ambition.

As for Obama, he may be the quintessential post-partisan, coalition/consensus-building, aisle-crosser, but I just can't see anyone getting over the way that Hillary and her husband have treated him. Sure, you can say “keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” but he doesn't need to have to be looking over his shoulder to see if the Clintons have his back or if they're about to stab him in the back.

I’m sure that some people think that if he's serious about including Republicans in his administration, he'd ask Ron Paul to be his running mate- but, after that cover article in the New Republic about Ron Paul’s racist rants in his newsletter, that would be like Lincoln running with Jefferson Davis or maybe Nathan Bedford Forest.

Lefties would LOVE Obama to go with Edwards, but Edwards is a class-warrior and Obama is pulling Independents and disillusioned Republicans, he might risk losing them with Edwards.

Needless to say both Clinton and Obama are courting Edwards for his endorsement, but he’d made it pretty clear while he was still running that he wasn’t interested in the Vice Presidency.

I’d like to see Barrack ask Bill Richardson and thereby court the Hispanic vote. Then again, Richardson watched the Superbowl with his old pal William Jefferson Clinton.

One rumor has Obama going with Virginia Gov. Timothy M. Kaine one of the first politicians outside of Illinois to endorse Obama last year. Another puts Tom Daschle former U.S. Senator and Senate Majority Leader from South Dakota on his short list. That would certainly bolster his inspirational speeches with years of Washington experience.

Maybe Obama WILL pick a woman, but NOT Hillary- Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius or Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano thus creating the most difficult to pronounce Presidential ticket in memory- either Obama/Sebelius or Obama/Napolitano!

What if Hillary Clinton gets the nomination? Former Iowa Governor Tom Vilsack, without a doubt the blandest, whitest, plainest, most soft-spoken choice out there. Don’t you think she’d want it clear who wears the pants and who'd in charge and she want to make sure that there's no possible way that her Vice President could be someone anyone would seriously consider as a possible successor to her, thus leaving the way open for a Chelsea Clinton candidacy in 2016.

As much as I love teaching and living in Iowa, I wouldn’t mind a pay raise even if it meant having to pack up and move to the beltway. So once again, I’d like to let all three candidates know that I’m available. I promise not to hog the spotlight and will personally guarantee that I’ll never be as sneaky, scary, or bossy as Dick Cheney. John, Barrack, Hill- gimme a call.


Ted Mallory lives in Charter Oak and teaches at Boyer Valley Schools in Dunlap. Ted first declared his candidacy for the V.P. on August 2, 2007- but his campaign hasn't gotten very far yet. 'Ted's Column' has appeared weekly in the Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper since 2002.

3 comments:

ezflex said...

Ron Paul would neither be associated with as VP nor would he endorse any of these so called leaders in this race. It is evident to most of us that they are all more of the same status quo; except for McCain - he is worse. None of the candidates except for Ron Paul actually believe in upholding the Constitution. We Ron Paul supporters do not care who is chosen by the Republican Party. WE WILL WRITE IN RON PAUL'S NAME ON OUR BALLOTS IN NOVEMBER! GO RON PAUL!

Anonymous said...

Ted,

If you're going to make fun of people in your column, probably best not to
leave yourself open to ridicule.

FYI, it's IMPUGN, not IMPUNE. I guess you don't have spell check for your
political cartoons.

And you might want to learn how to spell Barack. It's only 1 "r". Count
how many times you misspelled his name in your article.

"doesn't need to have to be looking over his shoulder" Just plain awkward
phrasing.

"For her, this isn't about transforming the country, it's about personal
ambition." Ironic that you'd single out the woman in the race for that
comment. And unless she told you that herself, how would you know that to
be a true statement? Since you can't know that, I think you might be a
closet chauvinist. The depiction of Conde points to that conclusion also.

And for the record, I hate the changes to the Mapleton Press.

LEISA COLLINS
leisac1@msn.com

Ted Mallory said...

Thank you for your comments and thank you for reading.

Any opinion writer or cartoonist understands that the editorial page is a public forum so they must be prepared to be targets for ridicule themselves. One of our purposes is to provoke thoughtful reactions like yours.

I looked it up in Merriam- Webster and they have entries for BOTH "Impune" and "Impugn."

I have always had a rather stream-of-consciousness style of writing, so I apologize for my poor mechanics.

I had certainly better work on remembering how to spell Barrack.

I am sure that Hillary would make an excellent president and if she is the Democratic nominee, I will probably hold my nose and vote for her. In my opinion however, her campaigning style is evidence that she is as Machiavellian as either GHW Bush #41 or GW Bush #43. Call me just another "Obama-Bot" if you like, but it's taken me a long time and lots of reading and consideration before I came to support him over Sen. Clinton.

My criticism of Secretary Rice is also because I perceive her as a hypocritical liar- not because she is a woman.

I am sorry that you are disappointed with changes with the PRESS. I may be one of those changes, but I really don't have any say about any of the other ones. It is my understanding that some of them are due to economic realities and others are intended to better serve all readers.

Would you like me to forward your email on to the PRESS office so that they could run it as a letter to the Editor?