Thursday, December 28, 2006
Celebrity New Year’s Resolutions
Celebrity New Year’s Resolutions
Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper — Schleswig Leader, Thursday, December 28, 2006 – Page 3
This year I resolved not to make any resolutions. Instead, I decided that I should share my perfect, inerrant correctness with some of the many people in this world who are not as right as they could be.
Here are some of the resolutions that other people need to make:
Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez resolves to not be such a nut. And to not call other world leaders “Satan” while speaking at the U.N.
Former U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. resolves not to not bully subordinates anymore and not to serve at institutions which he doesn’t believe should exist in the first place anymore.
Retiring U.N. General Secretary Kofi Anin resolved to not try to solve other people’s problems anymore. From now on, he’s just going to let people have to slug it out.
Vice President Dick Cheney resolves not to shoot anyone in the face anymore, at least not while drinking beer or hunting quail.
John McCain resolves to go back to being his own man and a real, traditional conservative, instead of always kissing up to the Neocons in the Bush White House and/or the radically ultra-conservative religious-right of the so called Republican “base.”
North Korean dictator Kim Jong Il resolves not to test any more nuclear weapons, and to stop going to Don King’s hair stylist.
Pope Benedict resolved not to call any more irrational, violent, Muslim Fundamentalist “irrational, violent, or fundamentalist.”
Muqtada al-Sadr really needs to resolve to work for the stability and security of Iraq, instead of just perpetuating chaos, anarchy and anti-American terrorism.
Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad should resolve to stop denying the holocaust, grant his own people the freedom of speech he demands for anti-Semitic nuts like himself and KKK Grand Wizard David Duke.
Russian President Vladmir Putin resolves not to poison anymore people who suspect him of trying to re-establish a Stalinist regime in the former Soviet Union.
Former Vice President Al Gore is already doing good on his resolution to give up political office and pursue a life as a Hollywood star and environmental crusader.
Katie Couric resolves to be less sweet and perky now that she’s taken over the CBS Evening News.
Ex-President George H. W. Bush (Sr.) resolves not to try to push off anymore of his numb skulled sons on us for President anymore.
Nebraska businessman Pete Ricketts resolves not to spend more than a million dollars on negative campaigning against Democrats who may as well be Republicans again.
Ben Nelson and Joe Lieberman resolve to caucus with the Democratic Party, even though they’re both basically moderate Republicans.
Former Florida Congressman Mark Foley resolves not to try having cyber-sex with teenage boys anymore, at least not while serving as chairman of the Congressional Missing and Exploited Children’s Caucus.
Former House Speaker Dennis Hastert resolves to pay more attention.
Rev. Ted Haggard resolves not to by meth from gay prostitutes anymore.
Mel Gibson and Michael Richards (Sienfeld’s “Kramer”) resolve to attend cultural sensitivity and anger management workshops.
Virginia Senator George Allen resolves not to call people “Muccaca” (slang for “little monkey”) and just be racist in private and not on camera in front of hundreds of potential voters.
Angelina Jolie and Madonna resolve not to buy anymore children at bazaars while on vacation overseas.
Dallas Cowboy Terrell Owens resolves to stop being such a massive egotistical idiot and just play football.
Bill Callahan resolves to listen to his inner-Tom Osborne and try using a ground game a little more often so the Huskers can actually win, instead of depending so much on his little “West Coast-Offense.”
President George W. needs to resolve to listen to people like Jim Baker and Lee Hamilton as opposed to being so stubborn and unable to admit when he’s really screwed up.
Pluto resolves to try harder, work out more and try to bulk up a little so that it can be considered a real planet again someday.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Fruity tree huggers
O Tannenbaum, wie grün sind dei-ne Blätter
Or: Merry Christmas, fruity tree-huggers
Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper & Schleswig Leader, Thursday, December 21, 2006 Page 3
Our Pastor, Richard Merrill gave me the idea for this column with a couple of his sermons during Advent. He was explaining the history and symbolism of the Christmas tree. No doubt, all of the readers in Schleswig, Ute, and Charter Oak who are of Germanic decent will take great pride in the fact that Christmas trees are basically a German invention.
It all really began almost 1,000 years ago when Saint Boniface. He was sort of to Germany, what St. Patrick was to Ireland, the first Christian missionary to Germany.
He came across a group of druids worshiping an oak tree. Druids were a pagan tribe that believed that trees were lived in by gods and spirits. Boniface, angrily ordered the oak tree cut down. Miraculously, a young fir tree sprung up from the roots of the oak tree. St. Boniface took this as a sign, confirming the Christian faith. As St. Patrick used the three-leafed shamrock to symbolize the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, Boniface did the same with the triangle shape of the fir tree.
Don’t feel left out if you’re German, but not Catholic, Legend has it that Martin Luther was the first to bring a Christmas tree inside his house and to put lights on it. One crisp Christmas Eve, around 1500 A.D., he was walking through snowy woods and was struck by the beauty of a group evergreens. Their branches, dusted with snow, shimmering in the moonlight. When he got home, he set up a little fir tree inside so that he could share this story with his children. He decorated it with candles, which of course drove the fire marshal crazy, so as soon as they could, Americans started working on electric light and smoke detectors.
The tree is used through the Bible. First Adam and Eve ate of the Tree of knowledge of Good and Evil and were banished from the Garden of Eden so that they wouldn’t also eat from the Tree of Life and thereby live in sin and separation from God.
Apocryphal legends suggest that the wood the Romans used to make the cross on which Jesus was crucified was from the tree of knowledge. One story claims that it was a dogwood tree and that is why dogwoods never grow very large- so that no one can ever be hung on one again, and it is also why dogwoods bloom so beautifully around Easter time.
Abraham pitched his tents under the trees of Mamre at Hebron where God visited him with angels to promise that he and his wife Sarah would have a baby, Isaac.
Psalm 1 says that the person who meditates day and night on God’s Word “is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither.”
Jesus warned that you can always tell a tree by it’s fruit in Matthew 7:15-17,
“Watch out for false prophets. They come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ferocious wolves. By their fruit you will recognize them. Do people pick grapes from thorn bushes, or figs from thistles? Likewise every good tree bears good fruit, but a bad tree bears bad fruit.”
This Christmas, and as New Year’s resolutions, perhaps we should all remember how in John 15, He told us that He is the vine and we are the branches, if we stay connected and rooted to Him, we will produce good fruit. I take that to mean that if we bother to spend time with Him in prayer, spend time reading His Word, and place our selves in a community of believers such as attending Church or Bible study, then our lives and our character will show it.
Christmas is His birthday after all, why not offer Him the first fruits of our harvest? Oh sure, you may think that means more money, but I suspect that what He really wants is a different kind of fruit.
Galatians 5:22-23 describes the fruit produced by trees planed by streams of living water: “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.”
Who wouldn’t want more of that in their life? Who wouldn’t want more of that in this world? Who knows, maybe if there was more of this fruit, there would also be a lot more peace on Earth.
So this Christmas, and afterward, when you pack up that dried out tree and put the ornaments away, remember to BE a tree and to ask God to help you to be more fruitful. That’s what the world needs now, more fruitcakes. Even if you think you’re “half-baked” and a little nutty, that’s okay, as long as you’re fruity!
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
We'll see how this goes
We'll see how this goes
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
Holy Family
NFS
Here's a little ditty I did for Christmas of '95. It's mostly tempra and some guache (or whatever that's called). I was hoping for kind of a luminesence (is that a word?) where you don't really get to see the baby Jesus, but he is the light sourse that illuminates mainly Mary and also Joseph behind her. Very splattery, lots of home made glazes made from glue and water washes. It was fun. My 7th graders hate Jackson Pollack and Mark Rothko so I'd bet they'd HATE this, but my wife and mother-in-law both like it and they're pretty hard to please.
Merry Christmas web-surfers!
Portrait of the Artist as a Young Woman
Young Artists
Budding new artist
Ellen explains one of her many materpieces at "Gallery 403" in Charter Oak. The Artist recently celebrated her 5th birthday with a retrospective.
Being of modest stature, the artist needed to climb onto a chair to explain some of her more important works, which included "SpongeBob," (see yellow and blue work at top right)
Friday, December 15, 2006
McClatchy Washington Bureau | 12/15/2006 | Clashes between groups of Palestinians raise fears of a civil war
Ever feel like you're Yosemetie Sam or Elmer Fudd or Wyle E. Coyote or somebody and you were chasing a rabbit or a road runner into a cave and it got all dark so you light yourself a match so you can see, only to discover that you're in the middle of a store room full of TNT? I wonder if President W and his homies in the NeoCon clan ever feel that way...
Clashes between groups of Palestinians raise fears of a civil warBy Orly Halpern, McClatchy Newspapers
RAMALLAH, West Bank - Palestinian police officers allied with the Fatah political party attacked a small group of Hamas supporters in Ramallah on Friday, a rare confrontation in the West Bank that ratcheted up tensions and fears of civil war.
Four civilians were critically injured. Also Friday, masked members of the Islamic militant group Hamas waged a short gun battle with Palestinian police in the middle of Gaza City.
Read the whole story: McClatchy Washington Bureau | 12/15/2006 | Clashes between groups of Palestinians raise fears of a civil war
Bakker, Brown: What the hell happened to Christianity? - CNN.com
NEW YORK (CNN) -- What the hell happened? Where did we go wrong? How was Christianity co-opted by a political party? Why are Christians supporting laws that force others to live by their standards? The answers to these questions are integral to the survival of Christianity.
While the current state of Christianity might seem normal and business-as-usual to some, most see through the judgment and hypocrisy that has permeated the church for so long. People witness this and say to themselves, "Why would I want to be a part of that?" They are turned off by Christians and eventually, to Christianity altogether. We can't even count the number of times someone has given us a weird stare or completely brushed us off when they discover we work for a churchBoyer Valley Community Schools - Yearbook I: Newspaper
Anyone interested in what I teach my Newspaper class can check this link out. Any of my Newspaper students may want to visit this link because copies of all the notes are right there for you to download, just in case you'd like to study for your final.
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Annual Exclusive
Annual Exclusive
Thursday, December 14, 2006- Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper & Schleswig LEADER
8:30 or so last Thursday night I sat down in a booth in the bar in Charter Oak to visit with a very old friend.
“Merry Christmas Ted.”
“Merry Christmas Chris. You know, even though we’ve been doing this for a few years now, I still can’t get over the fact that you can spare the time to grant a virtual amateur like me an interview like this.”
“Ho, ho,” he chuckled, “Well, not to discourage or disparage you at all, but I’ll admit that the biggest reason I do is so that I can thank all the good folks in the commercial clubs and community clubs of the towns that these newspapers serve for all the hard work and resources that they commit when they invite me to visit the kids in their towns.”
“Well, thank you for coming to town,” I told him, “My own girls certainly had a ball. They loved taking their picture with you, the devoured the treats in the goodie bags and they were thrilled with the door prizes they won. I know I appreciate the turkey my wife won!”
“Ho, ho, well, you know it takes a lot of volunteers and businesses to make those Santa Nights happen. I don’t mean to play favorites, but I think they’re far better than just coming to see one of my stand-ins at some big mall in a major suburb.”
“I’ll say, not just the meal and all the friends and neighbors but you get to take your own picture or pay just a buck for Polaroid as opposed to dropping fifteen or twenty bucks into a photo package.”
“Think globally, shop locally!”
“You know, you must really love kids and you sure have to have tough knees. Something I’ve always wondered, did you ever have kids of your own? And if you do, do you ever bring them along on your long trip?”
“Ho, ho, no, no… you’re forgetting, I’m a man of the cloth, married to the Lord and the work He gives me. Sure, I love kids, but could you imagine taking them along on a 24 hour road trip? How many bathroom breaks? How many times would I have to listen to ‘are we there yet?’ No thanks. One of the perks of my job is that I get to drop in, spread some joy and then the kids go home with their parents while I get to go home, put my feet up and enjoy the peace and quiet. I’m sort of like a grandparent that way.”
“All the movies and TV specials show you with a Mrs. Claus,” I protested.
“Myth is more powerful than truth. People believe what they want to and America especially has gone out of its way to reinvent me into a Grandfatherly role. People in this day and age aren’t comfortable with a bachelor cavorting with children, understandably so, I suppose.”
“But don’t you ever wish you’d met that right woman?”
“Too busy for too many years.”
“So you don’t even date?”
“I still keep busy, besides, when you’re over 1,500 years old you don’t worry about your libido very much.”
“How do you do it? To what do you ascribe your incredible longevity?”
“I guess the Lord’s not done with me yet. There’s still plenty to do.”
“Wow… say, people are going to want to know, how exactly can you make your trip all in one night anyway? What is the magic?”
“Just that, no big secret, just Christmas magic. Of course, not everyone celebrates Christmas, not everyone who does still believes in me, and not everybody celebrates Christmas on December 25. I’m Greek Orthodox, you remember, then there is plenty of folks who celebrate St. Nicolas day separate from Christmas… and of course it’s not as if I do it all at the stroke of midnight- there are time zones, you know. Midnight here is only ten o’clock on the West coast.”
“Don’t you have trouble with governments for violating restricted air space?”
“My cruising speed is about Mach 3, even the U.S. and Russian Air Forces have a hard time even spotting me on their most advanced radar. Besides, I have a long standing relationship with the boys at N.O.R.A.D.”
“Still, hat if some hostile nation tried firing a SCUD missile at you or something?”
“Fruit Cake.”
"I beg your pardon?"
“You’ve heard of potato guns? My sleigh is equipped with R.P.F.C.- Rocket Propelled Fruit Cakes.”
“You have GOT to be kidding me!”
“Hey, listen, your own General Washington once used them when he ran out of cannon balls during the Revolutionary War. What else are you going to use them for? Door stops?”
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Progress on Ellen
Stage four- added some yellow glaze to make things look more alive, had to be careful to avoid making her look jaundiced.
Step Five- Added some umber and some pink- her favorite color! I'm a little frustrated that the pink turned out so orange, but it does seem to match. I decided to take some artistic license and trade the morning glories for gerber daisies, or some vague pink daisy looking flower. She's a fun, silly, high energy kid, so why not go with whimsy over realism? But she 's starting to look sort of sad...
Step Six- As she is so bold, I decided to increase the contrast with some black and white and threw in a little purple while I was at it to help tie the pinks and blues together. I'm SO close but I'm not sure what it needs. I know that the right eye needs work, the glint doesn't quite look natural. Several students have been making comments; unfortunatly they're not all positive. One thinks she looks too old. The black and purple do kind of suggest eye liner and shadow. Another thought she's too brown/dark. One thought that the eyes are too big and with the black, they look like Japanese Anime. They are a little too big, but I reasoned that it added to the child-like feel so that's okay.
Here's a larger view. At right is a photo of the painting I did last year for her older sister. It didn't help, I wasn't able to match the styles so I just went in a new dirrection. At left is the photo I used for inspiration. If this was a project by a student, I'd probably give them grief about how the eyes are angled, like in the photo, but the nose and mouth are straight like in a head-on portrait. I had the same problem a couple of years ago on a watercolor that I tried to do of Benjamin Franklin. I just hope that in five or ten year when she's a teen/adult she doesn't hate it and feel embarassed by the goofy painting her dad tried to do of her when she was five.
Scroll down a ways to see how this painting started (steps 1-3) last week.
Click here to see and read about her sister Grace's painting
Friday, December 08, 2006
Thursday, December 07, 2006
Mallory's Milieu - CARTOONS
I've wanted to be a cartoonist since about 5th grade. I drew cartoons for my High School and College newspapers and now for my local small-town newspaper. Here is a collection of some of my favorites.
When you go to this page, bookmark it to your favorites because I add to it almost every week. Tell your friends about it, forward the web address around if you enjoy them. Who knows, maybe you can create a buzz for me or a web-following so that eventually I could sell my work to bigger papers, magazines, or best yet, get syndicated. Don't get me wrong, I love teaching, but how cool would it be to get to actually make a living drawing funny pictures.
Anyway, take a look, either luagh or get angry, but either way, enjoy.
Mallory's Milieu - CARTOONS
I've wanted to be a cartoonist since about 5th grade. I drew cartoons for my High School and College newspapers and now for my local small-town newspaper. Here is a collection of some of my favorites.
When you go to this page, bookmark it to your favorites because I add to it almost every week. Tell your friends about it, forward the web address around if you enjoy them. Who knows, maybe you can create a buzz for me or a web-following so that eventually I could sell my work to bigger papers, magazines, or best yet, get syndicated. Don't get me wrong, I love teaching, but how cool would it be to get to actually make a living drawing funny pictures.
Anyway, take a look, either luagh or get angry, but either way, enjoy.
ClustrMaps - map of visitor locations - zoom map
Hey, how about this, 1000 visitors. Not many in Blog terms these, days, but it's still a milestone. And check it out, at least 30 of those 1,000 visitors were in Europe and a few accross Asia, even one in South Africa and one in Alaska!
Hey, if you liked this blog, highlight and copy the web address and email it to a friend. Let's see how long it takes to get to 2,ooo and how much further accross the globe we can get.
Hope you like my are. You can see a TON more of my art at
http://tmal.multiply.com/photos
I'm a HIgh School Art teacher in Iowa and an aspiring cartoonist as well- you can see my cartoons at
http://tmal.multiply.com/photos/album/2
Happy Surfing!
What ever happened to childhood?
What ever happened to childhood?
Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper — Schleswig Leader, Thursday, December 7, 2006 – Page 3
Last summer a reader gave me a suggestion for a column, but I hedged on writing it because I wasn’t quite sure how to approach it. I’m still not sure.
The reader was concerned about how over-scheduled kids’ lives have become and how everyone’s lives in the community seem to be dominated by school sports.
When the reader gave me this idea, the C.O.U. Lady Bobcats were on their perennial march to the state softball tournaments. I didn’t want to look like I was trying to criticize their Coach and Athletic Director or any of the players or their parents.
I was afraid that some people would think that since I’ve served as a church youth group counsellor I was just having sour grapes about having to compete for kids’ time with “open gym,” sports and play practices, 4-H, FFA, band, work etc. Sure, it does make it a chore and plenty of people miss the days when Wednesday nights and all of Sunday were off-limits, but that’s not the real problem either.
By waiting till now to address the issue, I certainly don’t want it to look like I’m complaining about my own A.D. at Boyer Valley about how many basketball games we have to deal with (I coach cheerleading).
I never have understood why they get a season done in ten or eleven games in football, but basketball takes more than 22. I really feel sorry for kids who play JV and Varsity and the people who serve as Assistant Coaches for Varsity who are also basically the head coaches for JV- these people end up having at least 30 or more games total.
But please understand that I’m not complaining about or blaming either of these school’s athletic directors. And even if I wanted to, scholastic sports scheduling isn’t something that’s done unilaterally. There are conference, district, regional and state levels of guidelines and planning.
No, this reader who thought I should write about how thinly-stretched kids’ lives have become wasn’t only worried about high school kids anyway. If I read them right, they were worried about all ages of kids.
The reason I finally decided to write about it here is that are two articles that I recently read in the Chicago Tribune.
One story from the Associated Press sites several child development experts who report finding more and more physical and behavior changes happening to 8-12 year-olds, “tweens” that used to occur during the teen years.
The other story told about the American Academy of Pediatric’s concerns that children are being over scheduled and need more time for unstructured play.
The first story explained that many 8-12 year olds go on dates, have their own cell phones, listen to sexually charged music, view R-rated movies, play mature-rated video games and spend time gossiping on MySpace.
They’re dressing and talking in more adult, sexually suggestive and casual and disrespectful ways.
But then, didn’t adults say that about is when we were kids?
When I was 8-12 we were still riding our bikes, playing cops and robbers, building things with legos, or making up stories with our Hotwheels cars or our Star Wars action figures. We explored wilderness areas near our homes or built forts and tree houses.
Among other things, peer-pressure, technology, consumerism and an accelerated pace of life are eating away at our childrens’ innocence.
The second story suggested that many parents hope to occupy their children’s time because parents aren’t always available or willing to supervise their kids’ free time. Other parents mistakenly assume that overloading their kids is the best way to insure that they will achieve.
But while we pour time and money into these activities or transportation to and from them, we may be sacrificing something far more precious.
Some children are suffering depression, exhaustion, anxiety, irritability and loss of sleep.
Meanwhile, not having time to fantasize, daydream, act out imaginary activities or just horse around deprives youngsters of a lot of cognitive, social, emotional and physical development.
Experts recommend limiting kids to no more than three extracurricular activities. For example: one sport, one music or fine art and one youth group.
Of course, if you’re like us, you have two or three kids, so that’s still six to nine activities to fit into a seven day week.
Good luck.
Starting a new painting
December 6- adding some white areas- students made comments that it looked good- but ghostly with the empty eyes
Day 3, Thursday December 7- Some burnt umber for the hair and eyes, some flesh tones- making progress. Ellen's birthday is Decmber 14 and we'll probably celebrate on the 16th or 17th, so I have a little more time, but then again it is oil so it may be messy.
Wednesday, December 06, 2006
Other People's cartoons
Which leads us to other Bush Administration appointees. We already have heads of EPA and the Department of Ed. who don't believe that their positions should even exist, and of course Bolton, now these. How is that Republican? Did Lincon say "of the corporations, for the corporations?"
Monday, December 04, 2006
Substitute Teacher to the world
Listen to this guy's comparison to the U.S. to a substatute teacher. I
think he's a Republican, but it was really funny:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=6567190
__________________________________
http://ted.mallory.googlepages.com/home.html
"The gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the
comfortable." ~Garrison Keillor
Saturday, December 02, 2006
2 flags and 3 sisters
Friday, December 01, 2006
Say thanks to the Armed Forces in Iraq
Something cool that Xerox is doing
If you go to this web site, www.letssaythanks.com , you can pick out a
thank you card and
Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently
serving in Iraq. You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to
some member of the armed services. The cards are really cool.... they
are artwork done by children.
How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!!
This is a great site.Please send a card.
It is FREE and it only takes a second.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these?
Whether you are for or against the war, our guys and gals over there
need to know we are behind them...
Life is the Coffee
LIFE IS THE COFFEE
A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. The conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life. Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain-looking, some expensive, and some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.
After all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said: "If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is but normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, it may also be the source of your problems and stress. Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases, it's just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink. What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups.? ... and then began eyeing each other's cups.
Now consider this: Life is the coffee, and the jobs, houses, cars, things, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain life, and the type of cup we have does not define nor change the quality of life we live. Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us."
God brews the coffee, not the cups . . . enjoy your coffee.
"Being happy doesn't mean everything's perfect; it means you've decided to see beyond the imperfections."
Live in peace and peace will live in you.
__________________________________
http://ted.mallory.googlepages.com/home.html
"The gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." ~Garrison Keillor
Saturday, November 25, 2006
the Duck and The Devil
The Duck & the Devil
There was a little boy visiting his grandparents on their farm. He was given a slingshot to play with out in the woods. He practiced in the woods, but he could never hit the target. Getting a little discouraged, he headed back for dinner. As he was walking back he saw Grandma's pet duck.
Just out of impulse, he let the slingshot fly, hit the duck square in the head, and killed it. He was shocked and grieved.
In a panic, he hid the dead duck in the wood pile, only to see his sister watching! Sally had seen it all, but she said nothing.
After lunch the next day Grandma said, "Sally, let's wash the dishes." But Sally said, "Grandma, Johnny told me he wanted to help in the kitchen.Then she whispered to him, "Remember the duck?So Johnny did the dishes.
Later that day, Grandpa asked if the children wanted to go fishing and Grandma said, "I'm sorry but I need Sally to help make supper." Sally just smiled and said," Well that's all right because Johnny told me he wanted to help." She whispered again, "Remember the duck?" So Sally went fishing and Johnny stayed to help.
After several days of Johnny doing both his chores and Sally.. he finally couldn't stand it any longer.
He came to Grandma and confessed that he had killed the duck. Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug, and said, "Sweetheart, I know. You see, I was standing at the window and I saw the whole thing, but because I love you, I forgave you. I was just wondering how long you would let Sally make a slave of you."
Whatever is in your past, whatever you have done... and the devil keeps throwing it up in your face (lying, cheating, debt, fear, bad habits, hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.) ..whatever it is....You need to know that God was standing at the window and He saw the whole thing..... He has seen your whole life. He wants you to know that He loves you and that you are forgiven. He's just wondering how long you will let the devil make a slave of you. The great thing about God is that when you ask for forgiveness, He not only forgives you, but He forgets..... It is by God's grace and mercy that we are saved. Always remember: God is at the window.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Happy Thanksgiving
Fostering an attitude of gratitude
Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper Schleswig Leader, Thursday, November 23, 2006 Page 3
A friend of mine recently had to tangle with a bureaucrat at a college over some paperwork relating to their teaching license. The clerk couldn’t have been less accommodating toward my friend. This was not merely inconvenient (red tape never is) but since the institution they were dealing with was my friend’s Alma matter, it felt like a betrayal by one’s family.
Another friend needed to unload in an E-mail. They’ve been working their tail off trying to do a good job serving their customers. They had hoped to be excited about introducing some new features. But instead of appreciation, they were met only with complaints.
“You show favoritism toward so-and-so, where’s such and such? Why don’t you ever do this or I didn’t like this, I want more of that...” My friend was very discouraged.
Frankly, I’m not a positive person myself, by nature. If anything I tend to be pretty melancholy- on a good day I may be a skeptical, sarcastic curmudgeon and on a bad day I can be a mopey, depressed basket case. Being lassoed into coaching cheerleading some years ago may have helped me to not become a total wreck.
After reading several books on cheerleading I was confronted with the fact that cheerleaders need to have a positive attitude.
So how does one become more positive, polite and personable?
It seems to me that this Thanksgiving holiday, we could all stand to start by spending less time worrying or complaining about what we don’t have and spend more of our energy appreciating all the blessings that we DO have.
For one thing, it is powerful medicine to remind yourself that the most important things in life aren’t things.
Think about how Jimmy Stewart’s character George Bailey complained about his drafty old house that was falling apart in the Holiday classic “It’s a Wonderful Life.” All the time he was surrounded by a beautiful wife and kids who loved him. At the end of the film the angel Clarence reminds George that “no man is a failure who has friends.”
It is important to keep “things” in perspective. Do we love things and use people or love people and merely use things.
Another trick is to appreciate the little things. Even simple, mundane things should be seen as blessings.
Singing is free. What would life be like without jokes? Trees were a great idea. Coffee smells good, feels warm and tastes rich. Eyelids are very useful. Think about all the things you take for granted and be grateful for them.
Smile at people, say hello, and thank them. Thank your parents, thank the kid who serves you your burger, thank a soldier for their service to our country. Say thank you. You’d be amazed at how meaning full it is.
Most of us forget to give thanks, but by God, if we think that something is wrong, we sure as heck don’t forget to complain or criticize.
Certainly we need to make sure that we thank God for all He’s blessed us with, but I bet He’ll like it if we work harder at remembering to thank people even for the smallest things that they do for us- even when we assume that its their responsibility to serve us in the first place.
Many authors recommend starting every morning giving Him thanks. He deserves it and it is a good way to start your day in a good mood.
Hard up for what to be thankful for this Thanksgiving? Try taking a look at Philippians 4:8 and challenge your family members and dinner guests to come up with as many items as you can in each category:
“Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things... And the God of peace will be with you.”
Thursday, November 16, 2006
Blue Elephants, Red Donkeys
Why Blue Elephants made the difference- by a Red Donkey
Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper Schleswig Leader, Thursday, November 16, 2006 Page 3
Last week a very dear Republican friend of mine sent me an E-mail: “So...Have you calmed down since the election is over and Rumsfeld is out? What is your reaction to the fact that a number of states have voted for protection of/clear definitions of marriage amendments?”
I don’t know... what’s calm? Political and news junkies like me get off on letting our blood pressure boil over pundits, party talking points and politicians. Other people watch football or bet on basketball.
I’m fine with defining marriage as one man and one woman as long as you don’t deny anyone equal treatment under the law. Of course I think that having to pass a law defining marriage as between one man and one woman is superfluous, it’s like passing a law to define the sky as blue, so it was obviously a flawed attempt by extreme right wingers to “activate their base” and get the gay-hating Christians to come out and vote.
Some of us are Christians, agree that the Bible pretty clearly prohibits homosexuality, and agree that marriage by definition is only for one man and one woman, yet we don’t have a huge irrational fear and hatred of gay people and we believe that they live under the same Constitution.
Should Rumsfeld have been removed from office sooner? Heavens yes? Would that have helped Republicans fare better in the election that was just held? Gee Wilikers? Who knows? Is it pretty convenient that since he’s getting the boot now, his replacement (who was pretty involved in the Iran-Contra scandal of the 1980’s) will be confirmed by the current 209th Congress rather than the newly elected 210th with a Democratic majority in January? By Golly, you betchya!
You know what? Now is when the rubber really hits the road. It was pretty easy for the Democrats to win a majority. They didn’t have to run for anything. The Republicans were so steeped and soaked in scandal, corruption, hypocrisy, mistakes, extremism, and of course the muck of a miss managed war and a stubborn, Presidency.
Some Democrats would like to think that the voters sent President Bush and the Republicans a strong message, that they’re ready for change. But I don’t put much stock in alleged “mandates.” I don’t think that Liberals have any more mandate than Bush mistakenly claimed when he was barely reelected.
Democrats won because most Americans are centrists. They won because moderate Republicans jumped ship because they got tired of people who talked about compassionate conservatism but really aren’t either.
This election saw a new development. “Goldwater Democrats.” That’s right. Sound like an oxymoron? No more than “Reagan Democrats.”
Growing up in Arizona, I came to see Goldwater, our senior Senator for most of my life as sort of a patron saint. When the shrimp hit the fan with Watergate, he went to Nixon and told him to step down. Goldwater was angry that Nixon had been lying to him.
Now mind you, I disagree on his stand on states-rights in opposition to civil rights, especially integrating schools and of course there was the idea he had about using “strategic” nukes in Vietnam. Nobody’s perfect. But time and time again, I find myself agreeing with him on many things that I used to be able to find common ground on with my Republican friends- things like deficit reduction, government reform and smaller, streamlined government. Not to mention keeping the Government out of your private life.
Democrats won this recent election because, like Goldwater, American voters don’t like lies and secrets and have no patience for ineptitude- not because Americans suddenly all became progressives. Many of the Democrats who won consider themselves fiscal and social conservatives. Some are Iraq veterans who felt abandoned or betrayed.
What the Democrats had better do now is deliver. House Speaker elect, Pelosi promised the most uncorrupted, moral and reformed Congress ever. Its easy to be the “reform” party when you’re on the outside. If they let power corrupt them then they’ll deserve to get kicked out just like their predecessors.
We can only hope that the Democrats will finally put the brakes on the out of control spending habits of Bush and the Republicans.
We can only hope that they’ll REFORM (not raise) taxes in a way that benefits the middle class, not corporations and the super rich. But only time will tell.
The Art of Scott Woodard
I really like this guy's stuff. Whimsical without being trite or cutsie. Surreal without being unnaproachable or pretensious.
Fun stuff.
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
Kensie's Eyes
This was a fun experiment- no fiddling with stuff in PhotoShop- this was done by putting pink, orange, and yellow PostIt notes over my flash. Wicked cool huh?!
Tuesday, November 14, 2006
Malcontents and control freaks in your midsts
"I urge you, brothers and sisters, to keep an eye on those who cause dissensions and offenses, in opposition to the teaching that you have learned; avoid them. For such people do not serve the Lord Christ, but their own appetites, and by smooth talk and flattery they deceive the hearts of the simple-minded."- Romans 16:17-18
__________________________________
http://ted.mallory.googlepages.com/home.html
"The gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." ~Garrison Keillor
Say Thanks
If you go to the website above you can pick out a thank you card and Xerox will print it and it will be sent to a soldier that is currently serving in Iraq.
You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to some member of the armed services.
How AMAZING it would be if we could get everyone we know to send one!!!!
his is a great site. Please send a card, it is FREE and it will only take a few seconds.
Wouldn't it be wonderful if the soldiers received a bunch of these?
Whether you are for or against the war, our guys and gals over there need to know we are behind them.
__________________________________
http://ted.mallory.googlepages.com/home.html
"The gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." ~Garrison Keillor
Great Cartoons
Above is a great one about the radical middle- let's face it, Democrats can be conservative, especially when Republicans are so radical.
"Earmark"- AKA "Pork" They call us "tax and spend liberals," but they're "spend and spend neocons."
ANd finally, these last two really explain some of what happened...
Fwd: Young soldier needs prayers
From: BART MALLORY
Date: Nov 13, 2006 5:44 PM
Subject: Young soldier needs prayers
To: Ted Mallory
God Bless,
Vicky Field
Granbury, Texas
Please pray for this young soldier and please pass this request along to
those who will pray for him,
__________________________________
http://ted.mallory.googlepages.com/home.html
"The gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." ~Garrison Keillor
Monday, November 13, 2006
Gay Marriage- among other topics
Cool Stuff. Here is the first one from my friend who's a Lutheran Middle School teacher:
One of the best things to happen to me was that I've had to teach
Civics for a couple of years now. I rather enjoy it. We just finished a rather long simulation dealing with the Constitution. Check out the Interact Simulation Website to see what I'm talking about. Way cool. Anyway. They had a good time learning about parliamentary procedure if nothing else. I think for such a long time I focused on the History side of things that I never really dealt with the mechanics of government. Now I'm rather enjoying
myself in what I'm learning. I'm no expert by any means. I must say I learned a lot from you. Thanks for the insights that you provide.
We have a principal now whose a bit on the freaky conservative side. I admit that I'm not too crazy about gay marriage business and all but I'm also quite sure that there will be Democrats in Heaven. My principal, who's also the 5th grade social studies teacher, has made statements to the effect that being a Christian and a Democratic party member are next to impossible. NOT!! I have made it quite clear in my Civics class that that is not the
case. My mantra is "If you don't know how the Constitution works, you will be at the mercy of those that do." AND...I refuse to use my influential position as a teacher to make little Republican clones--or any party clones for that matter.
Well, I better go. Dinners ready. Thanks again for your insights.
And here is my first reply to him:
As good as all the history shows on History Channel and Discovery Channel are (that ne Dogfights on Friday nights is SO cool) I think that one of the best that I'd show to kids if I was still teaching HIstory is History Detectives on PBS.
They show the actual reseach process based on doccuments and evidence. Don't get me wrong, I agree that there are certain names, dates and battles that kids need- absolutely, but I've always felt that understanding, analysis and application are more useful and valuable than mere knowledge at least that's my perspective on Bloom's taxonomy.
I always tried to help kids see the dynamic tensions, the balances of divergent interests. That may be safe when you're talking about the Whiskey Rebellion or Federalism and Anti-Federalism but even when you get into Manifest Destiny or Reconstruction, if there are colleagues or parents who are wing-nuts, they can freak. Am I wrong that scrutiny and using critical thinking skills are good things? Non partisan things?
Unfortunately there are people who don't believe we should teach, they send their kids to a parochial school to be indoctrinated, not to learn how to think for themselves.
"It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen."
~George Orwell, 1984;
Whats funny is, you know how when you're a kid and somebody farts, you say "whoever smelt it, dealt it!"? What's funny is that the firt people to accuse others of revisionist history are the people who either have swallowed some propaganda or don't know enough about history (or government) so they're victoms of revisionist history themselves.
I still LOVE your mantra.
And another from my friend:
Hello again,
More food for thought.
Personally I cannot condone the homosexual lifestyle. It is immoral. Yet these are people who desperately need to hear the Gospel message. Hate the sin but love the sinner.
Just thought I'd say that so that up front. Now let's move into the political realm. I like your analogy of defining marriage to calling the sky blue. However, can one not also argue that a Christian in a democratic society has the glorious opportunity to help further the Gospel's spread by voting on issues such as this? Churches throughout the country (at least in some states where the marriage amendments were on the ballot) worked the issue of marriage into Bible studies and sermons out of growing concern that the institution was under "attack". True, I concede to the fact that parties would use this as a means to further their own agendas. Alas, this is politics. But couldn't it also be the Holy Spirit nudging people to witness through their votes, or across their dinner tables with their families as they discuss the issue? Granted, there are some real goofballs out there that have some serious hate issues, but what if out of perhaps hundreds of conversations about marriage amendments that a handful of marriages were strengthened and maybe some members of the gay community were given perhaps a moment of pause to consider the possibility of repentance and begin a journey that could ultimately bring them closer to our Lord? If that were the case for at least one person, then I guess I'd be happy to call this controversy over marriage a success. God has blessed us with the gift of democracy, wouldn't it be foolish and even sinful not use that gift to ultimately spread the Gospel?
Now, I will say that I would not likely favor ANY national amendment to define marriage because I feel that, based on the separation of powers under the federal system, it is the states that have the power to make laws concerning marriage, NOT the central government. Allowing the federal government to step in here would probably not be wise or a good use of our national government's time and treasure. However, if society elevates the gay lifestyle to the same status as say the African or Hispanic community, making this a civil rights issue, well, I guess then, as a civil rights issue, perhaps this is how the question will
have to be settled someday.
Forgive me if I don't sound clear, I'm trying to articulate my views as I write here. It's helping me to better understand my own position. You know, I recall teaching a unit in my U.S. history class about the labor unions. I recall how some early unions fought for political and economic reform by attempting to radically change the political landscape in order to accomplish their goals. Populism? Yet then you look at folks like Samuel Gompers and the collective bargaining process. They ended up playing the system better. Kind of like practicing your basketball layups rather than trying to drastically change the overall rules of basketball to fit your playing style. Okay, maybe I'm stretching this a little, but couldn't America's Christians take a cue from this? Try to be better Christians and share the gospel
BETTER instead of getting the government to do it. If the Grace of God were made more readily accessible through the witness of believers to nonbelievers, maybe we wouldn't have such a problem with issues like gay marriage. Maybe if the love of Christ was more readily evident through works of service and sincere praise, hearts would be turned Christ BEFORE people could be suckered into counterfeit feelings of love offered through such things as
homosexuality, pornography, and materialism. Let us be firm in our doctrine but also loving in how we treat others and strive for a better balance between Law and Gospel.
Well, I'm tapped out. Chew on this for a while and fire back when you have time.
Hope your family is well.
And another response from me:
Just so we're up front- I'm not gay, nor have I ever played a gay person on TV. (just trying to lighten the tone a little) Seriously, the older I get, the more I read and study Scripture, and the more I learn about the process that theologians, including early church fathers use to interpret scriptures, two hot-button issues become clearer to me: 1) that no matter how you try to dice it, God has prohibited homosexuality and 2) He probably did not intend for us to exclude people from roles of responsibility because of their gender as much as we have.
Hows that sound? Conservative on one issue and Liberal on another? Maybe.
I seem to want to talk about Luther's Doctrine of the Two Kingdoms. My understanding of the 14th Amendment of the Constitution leads me to believe that even though my religion considers homosexuality a sin, it would still be unfair in the eyes of the civil law to deny a monogomous homosexual long-time companion from providing for their partner financially or legally in ways that a traditional married spouse could.
I know a Republican law maker who has killed anti-gay marriage legislation in committee because if it came up to a vote, he knew he'd have to vote for it. The solution some progressive Christian leaders like Tony Campolo have suggested is similar to what's been done in Europe; civil authorities issue civil union agreements, and churches conduct marriages, but neither institution may do the other. As it is the Roman Catholic Church does not recognize Lutheran marriages, so if one district/synod of the American Episcopal Church blesses gay unions, the LCMS certainly shouldn't be cumpulsed to recognize that union. If marriage is from God, either as a full blown sacrament as the Catholics believe or as a metaphor for Christ's relationship to His Church as we do- why should we cede the ordination of marriages to any temporal, civil authority anyway? Doesn't that profane the institution? Teddy Roosevelt, not a particularly devout Presbyterian, didn't want "In God We Trust" on our currency because he believed it was blasphemous!
I guess I'm more comfortable as a Democrat, even when there are Democrats who do, accept, or believe things that make my skin crawl, is because Democrats are pragmatic and practical, they believe in detente' and compromise because they know that we live in a broken world and we have to make the best of it. What I have observed over the last 36 years is that because the Republican party chooses positions that are inflexible, they promote hypocricy. Wittness Gambling Bill Bennett, thieving Ralph Reed, drug-poppin' Hatian hooker employing Rush Limbaugh, and most recently pediphile Mark Foley, and Meth using gay hating gay guy Rev. Ted Haggard.
Love the sinner, hate the sin. Yeah, maybe the Holy Spirit may convict someone in their heart because our pastors and politicians are all up in arms about a wedge issue like gay marriage. Or... people who are struggling feel persecuted, hated and alienated. They're like Luther who practices self-flagilation because they look up at the cruel, unempathetic Christ as a heartless, angry judge, instead of as the approachable, patient, compassionate, yet hold you responsible and don't indulge your selfish sinful nature Father that He really is? Are we driving people out of the Church and making it less likely that they will hear the Word and come to repentance? What's the most effective means to influence our society? By voting? By legislating? Maybe, there's certainly room for that and I'd even agree that it is our duty. But so is by being salt and light, by being Jesus' arms and legs, in our relationships. "A Christian Nation begins at home" is one of my mantras. Walk the walk yourself, rather than screaming and shouting at others when they don't.
Unfortunately it is a sticky, complicated mess. It involves theology, civil rights, and biology too. Is society "elevating" homosexuality to the level of race? Is it a choice? A decision? Some conservatives are libertarians and even if they hate gays, they don't believe the government shoud interfere. Is it a disorder? Like a desease? If so, maybe we should regulate it like smoking, alohol, and drugs. If it is, surely we can't be more judgemental of them than we are of aloholics, adicts, or other people with disablilities. Thank God that through the Grace of our Lord, Heaven will be filled with drunks, smokers, pot-heads, adulterers, people who kuss and have looked at porn or cheated on a math quiz.... Yeah, see, I guess it gets down to how if I've even looked at a woman with lust in my heart I just as well pluck my eye out, huh? Or... if it's not a choice or a disorder, is it a genetic trait- can they help it? Would a black man choose to be black in a racist society? And if they can't help it, they what do we do with that, especially in the light of what the Bible says? Some scientists believe that biology suggests that sexual preference is not something one can help. Can't change genes. Not fair? Blame Adam & Eve? Blame Satan? Blame God?
Detente' (thank you Mr. Nixon & Mr. Kissenger for that one) Coexist. How do you put the toothpaste badk in the tube? All things, including society suffers from atrophy. And finally, don't be a control freak like the parent or principal who wants to produce clones instead of wanting to disciple children and equip the saints. Like it or not, we live in a pluralistic society. Many of the new Democratic Congressmen and Senators are pro guns, pro God, anti-gay marriage and anti abortion, but they're also anti-supply-side-economics or anti war.
This is a fallen world, and human, temporal law is about making it as fair and survivable as possible, not about making it right or godly or perfect- only the blood of Christ can do that. Too many "Christian Conservatives" today are confused about Law and Gospel. They think it's our job to prepare America for Christ's second comming, that we're somehow supposed to make this world obedient for God. That's not our job. Our job is to spread the word that we don't HAVE to work, we just have to accept His gracious gift because the work is done.
I'm sure plenty of Christian NAZIs thought that Deitrich Bonhoffer should go to Hell for lying to and dissenting against the God-instituted government in Germany. Thank God they would have been wrong, just as people who don't think that Christians can be Democrats may be well-meaning, but wrong. Or as John McLaughlin might say, "WRONG!"
Whew. Sorry to be so dang long-winded. I think, therefore I can't shut up.
Thanks for the forum and the fellowship.
Verse and Voice - 11.13.2006
Wash yourselves; make yourselves clean; remove the evil of your doings from before my eyes; cease to do evil, learn to do good; seek justice, rescue the oppressed, defend the orphan, plead for the widow.
- Isaiah 1:16-17
Friday, November 10, 2006
A historian's perspective
Editor's note: On the eve of the publication of his new memoir, "Point to Point Navigation" (Doubleday), iconic author and historian Gore Vidal sat down to an exclusive video interview with Truthdig editor Robert Scheer and offered this plea to America regarding the Nov. 7 elections:_________________________________________________________
"This is the most important vote that you'll probably ever cast. Because should this gang of thugs continue in the two houses of Congress, there isn't any chance of getting the Constitution back...."We're facing the most important election in my lifetime—which does not quite extend back to that of Abraham Lincoln, but it's pretty close. There'll be nothing more important in the voting line that one can foresee that will come our way while any of us is still hobbling around. This will determine whether we regain the republic which we have lost over the last five years.
The coup d'etat was so rapid that even I, who am ready for such things ... I thought, these people are going to make a grab for it. But I thought, my heavens, there's still the courts.... Even a shameless Supreme Court is not going to back up the loss of habeas corpus....
So, my fellow countrymen, as I sit here, not yet at Gettysburg, I have a notion that this is the most important vote that you'll probably ever cast. Because should this gang of thugs continue in the two houses of Congress, there isn't any chance of getting the Constitution back....
This is the last chance, really, by getting some new chairpersons to head committees in the House ... to have a clean sweep, which, in normal times, if we'd ever enjoyed them, would have happened by now. Now it has got to happen, or welcome to the Third Reich.
TED'S TAKE: I emailed this clip to a History teacher friend of mine who asked me if I thought this was really Bush's scheme, or (if it really is happening) is it the people around him pushing for it, rather than Bush himself? Frankly, I think it's both.
There is nothing worse than aggressive stupidity.People used to wonder about Reagan- was he a maniacal genius, or a doddering grandpa? So it is hard to tell who's really in charge. Egocentric, stubborn, uncompromising, absolutist leader? Or "C" student who's Dad got him into college and who's burned a lot of brain cells before getting off coke and alcohol, now suffering from arrested development who pretty much let's Dick Cheney make his decisions? Hard to say.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Bush has always been blissfully anti-intellectual,
He has also certainly surrendered himself with "NeoConservatives" who ascribe to the "New American Century" game plan for seizing and consolidating power. He's been reluctant to admit error and listen to disenting opinions. But, like Reagan, he is funny and charming. I still laugh when I think about the joke he told about how "this would be a lot easier if this were a dictatorship...so long as I was the dictator." Ha ha, It still makes me chuckle just thinking about it. Except that Reagan was never so smug. He had a warm, paternal smile, even when he lied. Bush W. always has that arrogant smirk.
At least now that his party doesn't control all 3 branches of government, perhaps there will be some balance and oversight. Oh, and then there's that Rumsfeld thing...
__________________________________
http://ted.mallory.googlepages.com/home.html
"The gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." ~Garrison Keillor