Thursday, January 24, 2008

Break your New Year's resolutions already? Make a new list and start over


I’m a big one on lists. I’ll have a list of things I need to get done during the course of the week and then another list for things to do that particular day. Sometimes I’ll have one list for work and another for home.


There’s a list that most of us never learn that has helped millions of people recover who suffer from a debilitating disease that not only destroys their own lives, but sometimes irrevocably damages the quality of lives of the people around them.


The list is the twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous and the disease is addiction, whether to alcohol, drugs, or even things like gambling, pornography, shopping and over-eating.


I was blown away once at a Bible study by a man who revealed that he felt more spiritually connected to and more able to be open and honest with his AA brothers than with anyone at our church, even in small group Bible studies, men’s prayer breakfasts or Promise Keepers.


That got me thinking, so I researched the steps. While AA members identities are protected, I don’t believe that the 12 steps are any mystic secret like some kind of Masonic rite. What I do believe is no matter what your faith these steps could help us all.


I don’t care who you are, we all do and say things that hurt people. We all have things that damage our relationships with others and prevent us from having a healthier relationship with God. And, we all make choices that are against our own best interests out of fear, greed, or impatience.


Consider these steps and I think you’ll agree, our churches and civic organizations would be drastically different places- intimate communities; if they taught and encouraged their members to all follow these steps. Family members may be more genuine with each other, partners would allow themselves to be more vulnerable with each other. Businesses and governments would be more ethical and transparent if their members practiced these steps.


1. Admit we are powerless over our addiction and that our lives have become unmanageable. Usually we’re all too proud to admit that we aren’t totally in control.


2. Come to believe that only a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.


3. Make a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understand Him.
C.S. Lewis believed that we’re all born with a “God-shaped hole” that only He can fill. Someone else once said, “if God is your co-pilot, you’re in the wrong seat.”


4. Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. Don’t you wish that some of those corporate CEOs at the oil companies and sub-prime mortgage lenders would do this? How about our politicians?


5. Admit to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.


6. Be ready to have God remove all these defects of character.


7. Ask Him to remove our shortcomings.


8. Make a list of all the people we’ve hurt and be willing to make amends to them.


9. Make direct amends to such people whenever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.


10. Continue to take personal inventory and when we are wrong, promptly admit it. It’s not a one time deal, it’s a continual, life-long process. “One day at a time” as people in recovery say. Martin Luther thought that people had to “die to sin,” and ask God to renew them every day.

11. Seek through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understand Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry it out. Now me, I’d rather pray only for my own comfort, or maybe to win the lottery without buying a ticket- but as I understand His will for us, it’s more about looking out for others than myself.

12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we try to share the message with others and practice these principles in all our affairs. Amen. How about we ALL try this, rather than just leaving it to the addicts?


Ted Mallory lives in Charter Oak and teaches at Boyer Valley Schools in Dunlap. 'Ted's Column' has appeared weekly in the Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper since 2002. You can see all of Ted's cartoons, some even in color at http://tedstoons.blogspot.com

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