Cabin Fever on Oak Avenue

Cabin Fever on Oak Avenue
Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper — Schleswig Leader, Thursday, March 8, 2007 – Page 3
Holy cow the things I could write about! It is almost frightening what’s been going on in the world, from saber rattling with Iran (see cartoon above) to the continuing saga of the Scooter Libby trial, to the daily carnage in Iraq, to the stock market roller coaster, to the 2008 Presidential election. A columnist could easily have fodder for seven days a week, not just one.

But I imagine that you’re as weary as reading about those sorts of things in this column as we all are of hearing about such tripe as Anna Nicole Smith and Brittany Spears on TV. I could get weird if you wanted, as I write this, historians believe that they’ve discovered evidence that nineteenth century German musical composer Richard Wagner (pronounced “Ree-Kard Vaug-ner”) may have been a cross-dresser. I guess Elmer Fudd wasn’t the only one to dress up like a Viking princess and sing to the Nordic gods.

Last Thursday when I wrote this column I was snow bound. This meant 24 hours in the house with three little girls. Barbies, play make-up, dress up (no not me, I’m no Wagnerian opera character), drawing, painting, singing, and mess making.

For years now, I think we’ve underestimated Grace, our second grader, because of her speech impediment. But I’m proud to say that seems to be very aware of what’s going on in the world.
“If I were President, I’d stop the war,” she told me. I couldn’t have been prouder. Who knows, there’s a woman running this time, maybe someday my own progeny will ascend to the highest office herself.

Then she snapped me back to reality- “And if I was Pwesident, I’d make a wule so that kids didn’t have to eat anything they didn’t want to, and there’d be no more school.”
Oh yeah, this is a seven year old I’m talking to. Nevertheless, I was still pretty impressed that she is so up on her current events.

“I wonder who the new Pwesident will be next time,” she wondered. Then she went on to explain to me how Dylan Hansen, a boy in her class wants to be President. Sorry kids, I’m pretty sure that there’s still some kind of age limit.

Then of course there is the precocious and effervescent Ellen, age five. Ever been trapped in a house with an effervescent and precocious five year old all day? Holy cow. There’s just not enough Tylenol in the world.

Don’t get me wrong, I couldn’t love her more, but wow, how many times can one kid change clothes.

“Thank you for having me over to your home for dinner,” she said sweetly and sat up straight as we got ready to have lunch.

“Wha? Dis is YOU house TOO!” Corrected her big sister, Grace.

“Shhh!” Ellen tried to explain to Grace, “I’m betending!”

“Oh, okay,” I decided to play a long, “Well, we really appreciate it, especially since Mars is such a long way away.”

“Da-ad,” she protested, breaking out of character, “I’m not from Mars. I’m from Peeka, Peeka, KANSAS.”

“Oh, okay, “I said, “but it really is a long way for you to come to dinner, all the way from Topeka to the moon.”

“Da-ad,” she complained again, “this isn’t the moon, it’s Charter Oak. You can’t betend unless you betend what I’m betending!”

When I was a kid, I could never talk my brother and parents into playing Monopoly with me because they all felt like the game just took forever to play. We tried playing Monopoly Jr. with Grace and Ellen last week on our snow day and they lasted almost ten minutes. Then Grace wanted to go play video games and Ellen wanted to put on a show.

Now that she’s turned two, Annamarie, our youngest has been asserting her will. She likes to turn on the TV and if I turn it off she has no compunction about marching up and turning it back on.

Da-ad, come on! She orders me when it’s bath time. There’s nothing quite as cute as a two year old clomping around in plastic high heels and an old Halloween princess costume from the dress-up box.

But this column wasn’t easy to write because she likes to climb up into my lap while I’m writing on the computer and ask “Game? Game? Daddy, play game?”