Take me out to the ball game

Guess I'm terrified of leaving on vacation with gas prices the way they are.
See more of Ted's political cartoons at http://tmal.multiply.com/photos/album/2

Take me out to the ball game
Charter Oak-Ute NEWSpaper — Schleswig Leader, Thursday, June 7, 2007 – Page 3

Have you ever been to a Major league baseball game? At Chase field in Phoenix, the concessions areas have the feel of a typical large indoor shopping mall. This contemporary temple of America’s pastime has a retractable roof and is air conditioned. Of course, special Diamonbacks fans not only have sky boxes, the even have a pool.

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve only been to two major league parks. As much as I love my D’Backs, I prefer their division rival’s home park, Dodger Stadium. This place is situated in Chavez Ravine in such a way so that the city is to your back and the ball field itself is sort of hugged by the hills. Griffith park is not far away. Palm trees and sea breezes contribute ambience.

In these places world class athletes ply their trades. Some, like the Red Sox’s Kurt Schilling analyze their performances and those of their opponents meticulously, others like the Giant’s Barry Bonds pump themselves full of steroids. All of them endure months of grueling training and years in the minor leagues. Their skills are honed to such a fine degree that their teams have decided to pay them millions of dollars.

This is a far cry from watching 4-8 year old girls playing Tee-Ball. This year, we had the good fortune of having both a 5 year old and an 8 year old playing on the same team.

When our 5 year old found out that not only was Charter Oak going to field a girl’s tee-ball team after all, but they were opening it up to TK (Transitional Kindergarten) through Third grade, she was jumping off the walls. Her very first question was would she get a hat.
Naturally, it was up to her 8 year old sister to share with her all of her well seasoned years of wisdom and experience in the sport.

In major league baseball, most of the mitts are brown or black. The Japanese have even added the technological advancement of polarized, transparent plastic where the webbing used to be, so that players can see the ball coming without the sun interfering.

In girls’ t-ball, most of the mitts are pink. Most of the ones that aren’t are black with pink trim or white with pink trim. Come to think of it, a lot of the batting helmets are pink too. The Dodgers don’t have holes in the back of their helmets for pony tails either.

In pro baseball some of the exciting plays happen when runners jump or slide in order to touch the base and avoid the baseman. In t-ball, there always seems to be someone who runs as hard as they can, completely oblivious of the bases. In pro ball, no one ever keeps running from home plate on to the girls bathroom.

In pro-ball, runners lead-off from their base, sometimes they even steal a base. T-Ball girls sometimes dance and twirl (or maybe wiggle a little potty-dance). Often they’re happy to just sit down on the base and play in the dirt or pick at the grass. Don’t think this is something that only runners do, plenty of outfielders can spend much of the game this way.

I’m never quite sure that I understand what ballplayers chant when they engage in dugout cheers and chatter. I swore that at the last game I was at, along with the usual “We are the Bobcats, the mighty, mighty bobcats,” I swore I heard something along these lines-

“We don’t play with Barbies, no no, nothing like that-
We just like to play with balls and bats!”

Now, that may be somewhat true during games, but I can tell you as the parent of two of these athletes, sometimes they don’t even wait until they get home- they break out the Barbies and/or Bratts as soon as they get back in the van.

You’ve seen professional baseball players celebrating after a game with Gatorade, beer, or champaign- depending on how far they’ve made it in the season, but kids just want candy and pop.

Pro ball players follow statistics religiously. And rightly so, not only their team’s standings, but their own careers depend on them. In t-ball all you count is the number of ups and the number of half hours that have past- sometimes you bother with innings.

The most important part of the game is slapping hands and shouting “Good game!” to your opponents in two big lines when it’s all over. If only all competition ended like that.

Of course, between school programs, Dance recitals, doctor's appointments, and leaving to visit family down in Phoenix- the Mallory girls only actually played in one real game this year. Grace was in two, Ellen, the 5 year old who was SO excited, only one. But we're already excited about next season!