Are You From Iowa or South Dakota???

A friend from the newspaper sent me this, I figured I'd send it along to my favorite Iowegians and Dakotans, although I'd argue that it may be true for Minnesotans, Wisconsonians, Michiganders, Nebraskans....The very last one is the best one.

Are You From Iowa or South Dakota???

60° above zero (fahrenheit):
Arizonans turn on the heat.
People in Iowa/South Dakota plant gardens.

50° above zero:
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Iowa/South Dakota sunbathe.

40° above zero:
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Iowa/South Dakota drive with the windows down.

32° above zero:
Distilled water freezes.
The water in Iowa/South Dakota gets thicker.

20° above zero:
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and wool hats.
People in Iowa/South Dakota throw on a flannel shirt.

15° above zero:
New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Iowa/South Dakota have the last cookout before it gets cold.

0°
People in Miami all die.
Iowans/South Dakotans close the windows.

10° below zero:
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Iowa/South Dakota get out their winter coats.

25° below zero:
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Iowa and South Dakota are selling cookies door to door. (True!)

40° below zero:
Washington DC runs out of hot air.
People in Iowa/South Dakota let the dogs sleep indoors.

100° below zero:
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Iowans/South Dakotans get upset because they can't start the Mini-Van.

460° below zero:
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero on the Kelvin scale.)
People in Iowa/South Dakota start saying..."Cold enough for ya?"

500° below zero:
Hell freezes over.
Iowa/South Dakota schools will open 2 hours late.


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"The gospel is meant to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable." ~Garrison Keillor